Mara's Story - or - The Child of Palpatine
by bugintheforest
Summary: So...this is just my little dribble about Rey's possible parentage... Ever so slightly affected by the theory that she's Palpatine's granddaughter. *Updated and expanded, 'cause it wouldn't leave me alone!* :) So...yeah... Enjoy!
1. The End or Beginning

Luke didn't know how long they had been moving, but when the respite came he insisted on taking it.

Rey sat across from him in the slight corridor – legs crossed, the Force wrapped around her. She looked so confident, so sure of herself and the path that lay ahead. It took him aback. _How had he not noticed it?_ When had this young woman come into herself? Even in all the chaos, he couldn't have missed it. Shouldn't have missed it.

He was her master, after all.

He sat, watching her quiet meditation. As these thoughts flickered through his mind, he saw what seemed like a glittering web of…something rise off of her and float down the hall. It reached the corner and coalesced into a slight figure of a woman, at once familiar yet unknown. She turned an imploring gaze towards him and then disappeared around the corner.

Without thinking, he followed. She was waiting for him halfway down the hall. Dressed in a black sleeveless tunic and similarly loose pants, she stood barefooted and seemingly unaffected by the cold chill in the air. Black veins delicately traced across what skin was visible, seeming to dance around strange tattooed symbols on her arms. Red-gold curls drifted over bare shoulders, adding to the illusion.

But the eyes… It was the piercing jade gaze that had his memory frantically searching…

"Do I…? I know you…"

She gave a slight smirk to that. "So quickly do the great forget those they've condemned to the dark…"

The memory snapped to focus in his mind.

 _The woman he'd set out to find…_

 _The feeling of his beloved students falling…_

 _The light held out to him like a beacon of aid…_

 _The hint of a pain he never knew he had…_

"The child of Palpatine."

"I didn't like that name when you first threw it at me. What makes you think I'd like it any more now?" He looked away from the memory to find jade fire glaring at him. She paused, visibly reining in anger on the verge of exploding. "I've come to give you a warning Master Skywalker."

"A warning…?" His mind was still reeling, still trying to catch up.

"You have to learn to embrace your dark if you expect to defeat Snoke."

That snapped him back. "Embrace the dark? No. No, that is no way to-"

" _Your_ dark." She sighed. "You still don't want to listen, do you?"

He cut off the rest of his argument, confused slightly by her wording, and waited for her to continue.

"There can be no light without the dark. They are two halves of the same coin. In order to fully be one with the Force, this is something you must understand." A pause. "There is no light side or dark side. There is just the Force, and what each heart does with it."

She said it with such quiet conviction, it was hard to _not_ take it in. Balance. True balance of the Force. Not on a galactic level, but the individual one. Each being a master of themselves. And yet…

There was a hesitance. It couldn't be that simple. That straight-forward. He was the son of Vader, after all. Even if Anakin was able to redeem himself and return to the light, that dark was still there. If he were to let it out…to embrace it…surely…

"Your fear has already destroyed one life. Very nearly another." The fire was back. "Will you let it continue to rule you? Will you take the galaxy down with you?"

The black along her skin seemed to pulse, and he remembered again that light. The light he'd clung so desperately to, like a tractor beam pulling him away from the dark hole the destruction of the academy had dug.

He remembered how the light had faded into dark. How he'd drained that star into a black hole.

A black hole that was staring at him now.

He could do nothing but stare blankly back at her, seemingly worthless apologies running through his head.

She waved a hand, as if brushing those same apologies aside.

"You have to move past this fear, this hesitation, if you are to defeat Snoke and save your nephew."

"Ben…?!"

She nodded. "His light continues to dim, but an ember remains to be flamed. He needs only reassurance that he can be redeemed, that he can live with his dark. This isn't something you can encourage if you don't believe it of yourself. Even your apprentice understands this, but she hesitates because of your lessons."

He took it in. This woman – so full of dark it pulsed through her – talking of internal balance and peace. He looked back over his life, appraising decisions and moves that could have been easily changed or aided by simply accepting himself, and all that involved.

There was something more… He reached for it, trying to grasp memories slipping through his fingers like water…

He hadn't realized he was reaching out towards the woman standing in front of him until his hand moved through her. A sad smile curved her lips.

"Life is the greatest of teachers, but some learn the lesson faster than others."

"Oh…" He tried to speak her name, but it wouldn't come and the sound seemed empty. He didn't know what to say. Suddenly his fear and hesitation was back. He had done this. He had taken this person away from the world through his own need to avoid the dark…

"It's like you said – a child of Palpatine cannot be suffered to live." She smiled again at his unspoken incredulous thought. "I offered. You can't take all the blame." Her figure drifted to right in front of him, the air seeming to buffer around her. "Do not fear for me, farmboy. Don't be sad. My light is still a part of this world. And it has grown beautiful and bright. My time is come. If you truly feel the need to make amends, I only ask one thing of you…" She leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Love her as much as you once loved me…"

She laid a chilly wisp of a kiss on his cheek as she moved back. With a last piercing, yet tender, look she moved down the hall, fading as she went.

"Wait! Don't go!" Luke was frozen to the spot, fighting to follow. "No!" Fighting to bring her back and keep her there.

"Mara!"

He woke with a start and found himself still sitting in the corridor across from Rey.

Rey…

A fog lifted in his mind and memories flooded in. Moonlit walks, heartfelt discussions, slight touches and passed subtle thoughts – a light blossoming from love.

He looked at the young woman sat across from him with new eyes. _How had he not noticed it…?_ He felt a memory of the pain Mara felt when he pushed her away. Felt his own growing pain at the thought of what could have been – the three of them… The family they could have been…

But with all that, there was still love. And peace. A contentment Mara left him with.

Hazel eyes met blue. An understanding passed wordlessly.

What had been had been. It was time to continue. It was okay to continue.

Life still had its lesson to teach.


	2. Prologue

Prologue

"I know where your mother is."

The words kept whirling around Rey's head, like some frenzied mantra. " _I know where your mother is... I know where your mother is..._ " Luke had tried to correct himself, had attempted to add some hesitation to that statement, but her brain refused to hear it.

 _My mother..._

She had considered that thought the whole ride to Takodana. After everything that had happened, everything she'd done and been through... She had obtained a new family. Dysfunctional? Yes. Odd? Sure. But...good.

So did she really want to know? Now, after all these years?

Now sat at the same table her, Finn, and Han Solo had shared on that first interplanetary trip oh-so-long ago (but not really that long ago), the bubble of not-niceness that usually accompanied thoughts of her "real" family threatened to rise. She looked across to the bar where Luke and Finn stood, quietly talking. Rey knew her friend was anxious to provide his unique brand of boisterous support; but, at the moment, she was thankful for her master's insistence on leaving her with her thoughts.

Because those thoughts, mixed with that bubble...

 _My mother. The woman...who abandoned me..._

A box suddenly materialized in front of her, goggle-magnified eyes peering inquisitively from just over the top. Maz had playfully teased with her when Rey politely refused to retrieve the box herself.

 _That_ box.

"Will the location _really_ affect the outcome any differently?" Those eyes, that seemed to see right through a being, twinkled again with humor and... Was that a touch of sadness Rey saw?

"I'm sure nothing else in that box has as much memory imbued by the Force as the saber hilt," Luke commented as he and Finn joined them. "But...at least this time you'll be better prepared."

As he sat next to her, he laid a hand over hers and offered a gentle squeeze. That one action told her her master meant more than what his simple statement suggested. Support was there for any visions she may have, or any chaotic emotions that may arise.

Anything that may unbalance her.

She gave him a grateful nod and moved to pull the box toward her. As she moved her gaze from master to box, an odd cringing grief seemed to flicker across the man's face. There and gone in an instant.

"You...sure about this...?" Finn asked, dashing the thought from her mind. Her friend looked at her from just over Maz's shoulder, his face certainly reflecting the hesitations she felt.

If any one would understand the situation she was in, it was these two men.

"Would you?"

He paused, visibly pondering the question. _Does living behind a mask create that effect?_ "I think... Yeah. Probably would." A smirk drew across his face, so infectious she had to respond in kind.

"Okay..."

Proud to see her hands weren't shaking, Rey slowly opened the box. She half expected that same burst of shock she'd experienced when she touched the hilt of that old lightsaber, but...nothing happened. It was just a box. A box of...stuff.

Still...there was something... An echo of that...thing that had called her to it initially. Not a voice _,_ per se. More...a feeling...

She hadn't actually _looked_ in the box the first time. The saber had been right there – first thing to see. After that...well...

Now she could see the rest – miscellaneous pieces of stuff. An old, worn holster, with slots for blaster and lightsaber. Some bits and bobs of parts. A curious jewel. Some intricate beads on a string.

And...a book.

A _book_ book. Paper, bound together, handwritten in ink. Filled nearly cover to cover. And that feeling... That echo...

She faltered, again wary of another...incident. But curiosity got the better of her.

 **The Story of Mara**

 **The Last Child of Palpatine**

As she glanced over the neat and concise handwritting on the front page, Rey felt a shimmering of feelings coming off her master – pain, grief... Guilt?

He composed himself quickly, no one else seeming to notice, and chose to answer one of her unspoken questions. "It's Sith," he said, pointing to the sharp squiggles next to what she guessed was a name. "The letters used by the original Sith people, and then by the dark side order."

"So she... My mother... She was Sith?"

"No." It was all he said, and all he needed to say with the tone he said it in.

"Rey...you don't have to..." Finn moved to step to her other side, but she didn't take her gaze off her master. Luke, in turn, would not meet hers.

It was like a training exercise. She knew he knew all the questions bouncing around her head, screaming for attention. But he was silently telling her to find the answers on her own. _It'll mean more to you that way... Unbiased, open to your interpretation..._

So she turned the page.

And the bubbled popped.

* * *

 _My dearest Rey of light..._

 _I don't know what will happen next...what will become of us... I want to believe that the Force will bring me to you, just like I promised, but my faith is faltering..._

 _I don't know why I ever felt the need to write all this down. I don't even know if you'll ever read it... I hope if you do..._

 _Just...I hope you don't hate me in the end. I hope I don't give you a reason to._

 _I fear I already have._

 _Know this – no matter what, you are my light. The bright shining star that guides me. My hope. My heart._

 _I say this not because I will break my promise, but because I do not know who – what I'll be when I finally return to you._

 _I will come back to you, my light. One way or another._


	3. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Once there was a man. A dark man. So dark, he was slowly blotting out the light of the galaxy around him.

Star by star.

This man wanted power. More than he already had. Unlimited power. He studied the ways of his master before him. And the masters before that. He read the legend of the one who came before, who had almost reached that point of greatness.

The man swore he would go further.

There were plans. The young boy, shining with new, intense light, was slowly turning dark. That could be the path, but there were too many factors that could go wrong.

He came up with alternatives. Literally.

Those fools of the light never realized what they were missing.

He had teams working – no one ever knowing what the others were doing. None ever knowing his end goal.

Power. Ultimate power. And the perfect vessel to contain it.

* * *

One there was a young girl. Was she young? She couldn't remember... She supposed she had a day from which to measure that fact, but no one told her.

Others that she was occasionally grouped with mentioned things like that. And other things – parents, families, homes. She didn't know those things any more than if she were young or old...

She didn't like the others.

She liked being alone.

Even though they were all special, all different, the others knew she was even more so. The marks the tall ones etched on her arms proved it. It meant they were doing more to her than the others. She was progressing further.

The dark they'd put in her was spreading.

* * *

Once, the dark man thought he was on his way. All his plans were progressing. His power was growing.

He worried when one of the light burned his face. But the bright one had turned completely by then, so his plan was safe.

He faltered, ever-so-slightly, when his apprentice burned. But he was saved, so the plan was safe.

Slightly dented, but safe.

The dark man had the galaxy. He wanted more.

The new light gave him renewed ambition. This light was as powerful as his apprentice's, but still young and whole. If it could be darkened, as his father's before him, that could be the final piece to ensure the dark man's success.

But this new light was too bright.

As the dark man fell, he thought of the children he'd bred. The ones he'd created as a fail safe. And for the first (and only) time, the dark knew regret.

* * *

Once, the young girl thought, her life was set. The underground rooms and locked doors. The teems of white suited tall ones. The tests. The shots. The surgeries.

The dark.

But suddenly...she wanted more. It was like bursting out of a bacta tank and getting that chilly shiver as the air hit your wet skin. Whatever was holding her back (that she hadn't even realized was there) was gone.

She was free!

She was alone...

It hit her then – the feeling of emptiness...

There was no one.

She was locked in and couldn't get out because there was no one on the other side.

She screamed.

There was an explosion and the barrier in front of her cleared and then staticed out.

The noise of it all struck her dumb for a moment. She couldn't even remember the last she talked, much less made such a loud noise.

The shock evaporated once she saw the bodies. Tall ones everywhere, some wearing weird assortments of brownish-greys. Most in white.

She was alone. But she was free.

Except...

The dark. The dark was still there, deep inside. Wrapped around organs and seeping through veins.

She was not alone after all...

And she was not free...


	4. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I didn't want to spend any more time in that place than I needed. Scrounged around long enough to find clothes that didn't have me screaming "Imperial property" and meandered into the nearest town.

"Nearest" being a rather hefty walk away. Super secret bases tend to be secluded that way.

It was easy enough to blend in. Just a few short months had passed since the Battle of Endor, and there were multitudes of displaced beings. I was just another face in the crowd.

I remember the first time someone called me a lovely young woman. Guess my shock didn't show, because the guy stormed off dejectedly. But it _had_ shocked me. _Me? A woman?_

It was weird. See, time was unessential to my life before...well, before. I had read all the news and information I could get my hands on, but the actual time measurements eluded me.

So to be confronted with the fact that I had, indeed, done some sort of aging... It was odd. After all – one of my objectives was to _not_ age.

Should I ever actually figure out my true age, I'm sure that guy would be just as shocked.

The first time encountering someone who was Force-sensitive... That's a whole other cluster.

It was a kid. Couldn't have been, I don't know, 5? 6? (Before you say it, someone else nearby had been thinking the same thing. A great way to learn...) She was happily standing in a line of folks waiting for meal vouchers; one hand clasped tight to her mom's, the other arm wrapped around a toy. She was grinning a big toothy grin at everyone that passed.

Except me.

I swear, if her eyes had grown any bigger, I would have fallen into that terrified gaze.

She didn't scream. Didn't cry. Just...stared in absolute fear.

I ran.

 _Yup, we'll cross civilized society off the list of places to live..._

I had had opportunities to view myself in reflective surfaces. I didn't _look_ horribly...dark. Hair's a bit...reddish. Curls a bit...unruly. Eyes like two green stones. Skin pale (not a lot of sun in boxes, ya know). Kept the tattoos covered up practically all the time. Nothing that screamed "evil".

But it was there. Always there. Only visible to some, but there. And I needed to fix that.

"Where's the darkest, seediest place in the galaxy?" I ask the first being I see.

"Well, that would be Nar Shaddaa. Smuggler's Moon."

"Sounds promising. How do I get there?"

"Now, what would a sweet lady like you want in a place like that?"

"I figure I find a deep dark hole in the galaxy, like this Smuggler's Moon. I jump in and figure out a way to crawl out of it. If I can manage that, I can manager other...similar acts." Seemed like sound logic to me, but he wasn't having it.

"Why don't you try Chandrila. They're rebuilding the government there. The New Republic. Sweet girl like you could do a lot of good there, I'm sure."

Two thoughts came to mind during this statement – Am I de-aging? And how long would this "New Republic" last should a ticking time bomb, like I assumed myself to be, be introduced to it?

So I showed a little dark and he pointed me in the right direction.

See, I'm not afraid of it. How can I be? It's part of me. The more I interacted with the galaxy, the more I saw it's a part of everything. It's in the little white lies children tell their parents and in the fruit swiped from the market. Little bits of dark everywhere.

I just happen to have a whole lot more. And should I decide to say kriff it and let it go... Well... Best not to think of it...

I made my way to Smuggler's Moon, doing odds-n-ends jobs along the way. A little scavenging, a little maintenance and repair, a little slicing.

How I ended up as a dancing girl in a Hutt's palace is a great story...that I will happily tell from my grave.

Eventually I joined up with a small team of smugglers. Again, just tech jobs here and there. Mostly, I worked on the droids. Occasionally, I acted as translator (with my array of linguistic skills that would make a protocol droid jealous). It was good fun. Great times, in fact.

Totally defeating the purpose, of course. Damn smugglers. Who knew they were all so...CIVIL!

This was not the cesspool of slime I was looking for. (And no, the Hutt's palace was just a _literal_ cesspool of slime. Doesn't count.) How was I supposed to find inspiration for my climb out of the dark?

I made the happy mistake of making this exact comment to a fellow droid tech one day.

"You sound like one of them crazy forcey-types."

"The crazy whats?"

"You know. The Jedi. With their 'light side – dark side' talk." He laughed. I laughed.

And realized what a complete and total idiot I was.

The Jedi. Of course. Who better to help me with my little dark issue than the brightest Force users outside the deep core!

Of course, there was that whole grandest-part-of-Imperial-history – Order 66.

But I also knew not all the Jedi were killed. I'd read the reports of certain rebel factions that had Force-using elements. And then there was the (current) most famous Jedi of all.

Luke Skywalker.

Rumor had it, Skywalker hadn't killed ole Palpy himself. He'd actually somehow convinced Vader to do it. And if a guy like that could turn Darth Kriffing Vader around...

Shockingly enough – very tricky to track down a galactic hero. Guy saves everyone and just _POOF!_ dsappears.

I traipsed halfway across the galaxy looking for him. Tatooine to Coruscant and most places in between. Sliced an official-looking message to his sister and just got

"HE'S ON A SECRET, PERSONAL,

JEDI MISSION. NO OTHER

INFORMATION AVAILABLE.

\- L.O."

Ambiguous much? (Apparently he missed the wedding... Ouch.)

Last desperate act – trudged through trash, debris, and sewage to track down that dang lightsaber he lost on Bespin. (Yes. Imperial records are _that_ detailed. Even Vader's.) I figured he'd like it back and would contact me for it.

In the end, he did find me. But it wasn't the lightsaber that brought him.


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

As is usually the case, the thing I was looking for found me _after_ I had stopped looking.

I'd ended up on a mid-point planet, somewhere between the core and the outer rim. I'd been slowly making my way through, but was suddenly hit with the need for a break.

Of course, Jedi hunting doesn't really pay all that much – especially when you don't tell anyone that's what you're doing. So, in order to keep up with my "fabulous" life style (ie. eat), I picked the usually go-to job choice. Shortly upon landing on the non-descript planet, I was pointed in the direction of the one (and _only_ ) maintenance shop in town. The locals were pretty adamant – if I wanted to do tech work, I had to go there and hope they were hiring.

Apparently, I'd landed on a planet of artisans or something.

Making my way through the town, I felt more and more like it was a good place to just stop and...relax for a bit. (As much as I _could_ relax anyway.) If I got a decent job, so much the better. Maybe I could even pull off believing I was...normal.

It didn't last long.

I had gotten used to kind of "hunkering down" Force-wise, dimming and hiding as much as I could. It almost became a reflexive thing. The less of that...aura I gave off, the more easily I could blend in. I always thought that was how Order 66 survivors managed – cutting themselves off to live. It seemed to work, judging by Imperial reports anyway.

Ashla was the owner of the maintenance shop. When I finally got there and she introduced herself, I had to try hard not to giggle. (I know more Jedi history than most folks, Jedi included most likely.)

 _What are the odds this is an old Jedi? Unknowingly hiding in the Force out of habit, but under a crazy obvious name?_

Should've bet someone on those odds...

She'd hired me on the spot, obviously grateful for the help. The idea of "just one of each kind" shops was an unusual one for her too, and the workload was intense.

We worked well together. She had her strengths, I had mine. Customers were always thrilled, which was always a bonus. The extra living space above the shop another plus. We would work through the day; meals occasionally shared there or at the local cantina, other times left to our individual selves.

Just like it was with the smugglers, it was nice. Why I am always surprised with my ability to be...average is probably understandable. But it still surprises me.

There are, of course, bad days.

It was stupid really. I'd been repairing a particularly trashed droid and it was taking fffooorrrevvveeerrr. And I was getting ever-so-slightly frustrated. I'm sure you can see where this is going... You know the old adage – anger leads to hate and yada yada yada. I'm sure frustration is on the far end of that spectrum, but when you try to bottle it up too much for too long...

I thought I'd been alone in the shop. Ashla had gone to deliver a repair to an elderly couple who couldn't quite convince their "very busy" son to pick up their repaired cleaner. So, when the rotten droid I was repairing decided to suddenly (and rather violently, I might add) short-circuit – with my hand delicately poking around its innards – I reacted just as violently (okay...overly violently), and was shocked to hear a gasp come from the doorway behind me.

Turning from the fairly ruined droid, I found Ashla standing and gawking at the scene. As I rushed to apologize and ensure that I would gladly pay for a new droid and that maybe the memory card could still be retrieved, I noticed she was staring at the scene.

She was staring at me.

Her eyes... I had a flash of that kid from before... The fear... But also...anger.

And then I realized I could sense Ashla's Force-sensitivity. Or, more so, the barrier she used the Force to create around her.

"Ummm...so...a bit awkward..." I said, standing.

She reached out to have a wrench fly to her hand and brandished it at me. "You can stay right there, Sith scum."

I have to admit – that hurts. No matter how many times beings say it, it never gets nicer.

"I'm no Sith." Probably a bit too much acid in that statement... But I always feel like it's called for.

"Could've fooled me." I could feel her reaching out, trying to determine if anyone else was there. Trying to determine more about me.

Again – instinct kicked in and I reeled in the dark.

"No point in hiding now, Sith."

"Could say the same to you, Jedi." She hadn't been closing down, of course. Quite the opposite. But...I wasn't sure what else to say.

"I'm no Jedi."

"Ha!" Yeah...couldn't help it. "Sorry. Look...I can explain..." She was controlled enough not to twitch when I set down the spanner I'd been holding. I rose back up with hands wide in front of me. "It's honestly not what you think. I mean...well...it is, but..."

Now, I could have just calmed her mind with just a thought. (I actually thought I might have done it without realizing it.) But figured that wasn't going to help my case. And, it seemed, I didn't have to.

"I'm listening," Ashla offered, without lowering the wrench.

So...I told her. Everything. And, eventually, the wrench got lowered.

It was almost cathartic to say it all out loud. Even more so to have someone listen. And she did listen. In more ways than one. And I opened up more that I had, probably, in my whole life. I felt the turmoil within me so strongly, I almost thought it would pop out and become a tangible bubble.

 _If only... Then I could have just burst that sucker and been done with it._

After I was done, she told her story. The irony of my thought at our initial meeting coming full circle. And more.

She was not just a former Jedi – not just a former Clone Wars general – but the former padawan of another illustrious Skywalker to boot.

Ahsoka Tano.


	6. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We talked well into the early morning. Ahsoka's journey had, obviously, been a bit more...well, _more_ than mine. But it was still shockingly easy to see similarities.

The story that interested me the most, of course, was the Mortis incident. She told me how Obi Wan, Anakin, and herself had ended up on the mysterious planet with otherworldly (in the most metaphysical sense) beings. But – more importantly – how she had been literally _infected_ with the dark side.

Her rebound from that would most likely not work for me. For one, it wasn't as...large an amount as I had apparently been stuck with. And, also, there was the fact that she had died and the living embodiment of the light side (also practically dead) giving up her current existence was the only reason Ahsoka was around to tell the tale.

"But something like that still leaves a scar. One that can't be seen, but is definitely felt." She always absentmindedly rubbed her right forearm when the topic came up. "Our lives tend to have a habit of picking up fuel for those sorts of things."

"Yeah... Any more fuel on this fire..." I'd laughed and she replied sympathetically.

"We'll figure it out."

And we had. I had already developed the ability to push the dark aside – an almost instinctual habit of ignoring impulses that it would naturally provoke. The occasional...slips were simply a capacity issue. It was just a matter of...changing some of the dark to light, to balance the levels.

Easy.

Sure... Not.

It took...time. Probably the first instance in my life where I actually noticed the ticking progress of time. Shockingly – meditation did not come easily. I'd spent so much of my early life unconsciously doing just that that when it came time to consciously do it...nothing.

Eventually, though, a modicum of success. It was basically a healing trance (a handy little trick I was thrilled to pick up), but it went...deeper. Driving poisons out of veins or prompting wounds to knit back together is one thing.

But, crazily enough, changing dark pockets of a being's essence to light was a lot harder than just flipping a switch.

Success, however, came. In tiny hops rather than leaps and bounds... But I'd take what I could get.

Finally – I had almost everything I wanted. Normal life. Fun job. Good friends. Internal struggles relatively under control.

It was good. I was happy. Practically giddy.

Then... _he_ showed up.

Luke Kriffing Skywalker.

Ahsoka hadn't necessarily been hiding. The use of her old alias had almost been an unconscious choice. Like an old blanket you'd happily curl up in no matter how warm it was. It was a persona she could get a normal life out of. Jedi weren't necessarily hunted any more, but you could never tell how you'd be received. There were those folks who fawned over anything remotely related to the heroic order of the past and, possibly, future. And there were those who still felt the last war could be blamed, somewhat awkwardly and in a supremely roundabout way, on them.

Dimming her Force presence when I had arrived was for the same reasons as mine – unknown entity. Now that we knew each other, we were a bit more open. But caution was still used.

So when a known Jedi knocks on your door, inquiring as to the obvious Jedi in the place, our natural instinct was to wonder how we goofed.

Realizing who the mysterious Jedi was, though, banished those thoughts. Apparently "Jedi Force tracking" was an obvious trait for someone like Luke Skywalker to have.

His ability to pick us out so easily had me slightly on edge. I happily let Ahsoka do all the talking.

He was on a mission, he'd said. (Must have missed the lightsaber holo-ad...) The brilliant coincidence of needing fuel right in the system where a Clone Wars-era Jedi lived must be the Force at work.

"I can't imagine any mission you could possibly have that would relate to something so long ago," Ahsoka said, laughing as she brought out drinks.

"Well...it deals with...Palpatine." He seemed hesitant to give out information, rather counter-productive, seeing as he was _asking_ for information... "The few bits of information I've uncovered has me believing this...particular project was a long time in the making."

"Sounds like Palpatine," she'd agreed, with a quizzical look in my direction. Apparently the odd feeling fluttering in my stomach was beginning to show on my face. "What...sort of project?"

"Clones."

"Like the clone troopers?" Her mug hit the table probably harder than she'd wanted. The subject of clone troopers – her fellow comrades-in-arms – was always a tricky one to bring up.

"No," he'd said, sighing with the obvious thought that he was going to have to be more forth-coming after all. "Clones of himself." When the comment received nothing but stunned silence, Luke told the whole tale.

After the Empire had fallen, he'd decided to gather as much information as he could. The desire to know everything about the "prestigious" order he had been so oddly initiated into was immense. Of course, old Palpy had been just as intrigued. He'd had his minions snag up every piece of information they could get their hands on, razing whatever was left. So, Luke getting that info now would be an obviously difficult task.

But far be it for an old cranky Sith lord's security to dissuade a former farmboy's plucky determination.

He'd scoured Imperial records galore, from Coruscant and out. He had had slicers working night and day to crack open virtual safes and decrypt the booty inside.

Finding the logs from one of the emperor's personal vessels had been the supreme treasure. Not a complete accounting of the operation, but enough to strike Skywalker's fancy.

And strike a little fear in the young Jedi's heart for good measure.

"Palpatine was ridiculously paranoid. He never had all the necessary information about one thing stored in one place. Just getting our hands on the plans for the Death Stars had taken...well, a lot. But this..." Luke had been pacing for most of his explanation, but finally resumed his seat.

"You're scared..." That was Ahsoka for you. You have feelings? Well...let's just pull those out and look at 'em, 'kay.

"Could you imagine? Clones. Of Palpatine."

"...would probably be next to impossible." She said it with such certainty, he looked like he couldn't help but be a little relieved. As for me...well... I was still dealing with the fluttering sensation of dread as to where the conversation could be headed.

"I know, I know. _Those_ records were easy to find. The clones created during the Clone Wars were too risky and chaotic a process. It worked, but not consistently enough. That's why they went with stormtroopers...recruits."

"And there's the whole 'Force-user' aspect." _Wait... Had I just said that?! IDIOT!_

"Well...that was the only other part of the those files I could find..." Again, Ahsoka and I glared expectantly. "There was a rather...in-depth process in place to...obtain Force-sensitive younglings..."

He had paused, probably to let that idea settle. And most definitely did not realize the reactions broiling in the two women he sat with.

"The holocron..." Luke and I immediately turned to Ahsoka, and when she finally raised her gaze it was desperately sad. And pointed right at me.

"What holocron?" Luke asked, breaking Ahsoka from her thoughts (and me from slight confusion).

"It was...years ago. Before the Clone Wars really started in full force..." She smirked shyly, obviously remembering a bright spot in her memories. "A bounty hunter named Cad Bane had broken into the Jedi Temple and stolen a holocron. He'd gotten away, but we eventually caught up to him. His ship was destroyed, and we assumed he and the holocron went with it. But Anakin wasn't sure. The Jedi Council decided to keep an eye out for any incidents..."

She drifted off in thought and then suddenly burst up from her seat, fuming around the chair. "I can't believe we missed it! He would have had time to copy it. We finally got it back, but he _could_ have copied it. Master Windu had it examined and found no trace... But that would have just been _digitally_. We didn't even consider non-technological routes. _That_ wouldn't leave a trace!"

She was pacing and rambling to herself. Luke turned to me and all I could offer was a shrug. So he decided to try to break the former Jedi from her memories.

"Well...it's a holocron. What good would a bounty hunter have with it?"

She gave Luke a kind smile. "Unfortunately, catching up with Bane had...unforeseen complications. He managed to capture me and the only way he would let me go was if Anakin opened the holocron." She sighed, as if mentally beating herself for an age-old mistake. "He... He was a great friend. And a great master. So, of course...he did."

"What...kind of information...?" I hadn't really wanted to ask, but the question had just been hanging there...

Ahsoka turned that sad gaze to me again. Regret and...guilt? poured off of her. "Names. Names of Force-sensitive younglings who would, one day, be invited to the Jedi order."

The two of us stared at each other, the third party in the room forgotten. Ahsoka – silently pleading me for forgiveness. Me – trying to get her to shut up. Politely... _Ya know...for the good of us both and...stuff..._

"But how do you know they were able to access the information?" Luke had been, apparently, oblivious to our silent conversation.

"Our very next mission..." Ahsoka paused behind the chair she'd been pacing behind, thumping her hands on the back. "Cad Bane escaped and we, again, caught up to him – after he had kidnapped two younglings." Another pause...for dramatic effect, I'm sure. "Force-sensitive younglings."

Luke had been about to comment when all three of us turned our attention to the front of the shop.

"Oh look. Eckar. I'll see what he wants." I bounded out my seat and through the door separating the front from the workplace we were sitting in. Never more pleased to see our noisy neighbor standing at the counter – blaster in hand.

"Mara. Shop closed... Strange man?" Eckar wasn't much of a talker. He said war wound but, not being much of a talker, no one could ever get more than that. I always chalked it up to an inability for him to speak Basic, and had attempted to determine his native tongue. But he wouldn't have any of it.

Ahsoka figured he'd spent too long under Imperial rule. AKA – the Empire's "humans are the bestest, everything else sucks" rule. But he was a sweet guy who assured us "two purty lady" that he was able to help. And protect if necessary.

"Hey Eckar. It's okay," I told him as I slyly pushed down the blaster. "He's...a friend. No worries." I looked back through the half open door to see Luke looking at me, a weird quizzical look on his face. Like he had just been confronted with two pieces of something that shouldn't go together but, oddly, did.

Ahsoka crossed to the door before I could finish pondering that look and I decided to take the out that I was oh-so-gratefully being offered.

"Hey! I'm gonna get dinner. And...Eckar's going to help. Right, Eckar? Help me carry some food back from the cantina? Please?" He nodded, waving to Ahsoka and following as I pulled him to the front door.

"Mara...wait..." Eckar stopped, so (as big as he is and as I was attached to him) I stopped too.

Now, usually I am more than happy to acquiesce to such nice requests. Especially when put in such lovely ways as Ahsoka did. But this particular evening...

Yeah. No. I needed a break. Out the house. Away from that conversation. And – most definitely – away from that Jedi.

A little more forceful tug on Eckar, a wave of my own, and we were off.

No. I wasn't running away. I was getting dinner. Talking...or, rather, avoiding talking...or...

I was hungry, all right.

It's not that I was afraid. Obviously, Ahsoka knew my story. What would be the big deal if Skywalker knew it too? Heck...by that point, he already knew half of it...sort of...

...from a certain point of view...

Whatever. It wasn't the telling of the story. It was the reaction after. 'Cause that was the missing piece, wasn't it? Mr. I-don't-want-to-tell-you-anything-'cause-it's-my-problem-to-deal-with-by-myself had said what he was after...sort of. But there was no mention of what he was going to do once he found it.

Given that he was the Illustrious Luke Skywalker – Emperor Slayer Extraordinaire, it was fairly easy to deduce what his plans were. And I happen to like all my body parts right where they are, thank you very much.

These thoughts followed me to the cantina and back, flying circles 'round the inside of my skull like it was a swoop racetrack. Eckar, being Eckar, just quietly shuffled along beside me. Which is why I adored him. If a random no-goodnik decided to jump out the shadows and try to rob or otherwise abuse us, Eckar would have had the punk tossed back in the alley he'd crawled from in seconds, without spilling so much as a drop of soup.

Good ole Eckar.

Good ole no-goodnik in the shadowy alley.

Good ole Mr. and Mrs. Da-Vyjs and their lazy, lazy son.

Good ole shop.

Good ole street.

Good ole Ahsoka.

Stupid Jedi.

The closer we got to the shop, the more I felt this cloud coming over me. It wasn't real. Yet. More like a promise – something not nice was coming. Something I was positively _not_ going to enjoy.

Stupid Jedi.

Walking through the door, I heard laughter from the back room and cringed. Then immediately felt silly. We got the food up on the counter and as Eckar emptied his hands of containers, he pulled me in for a near-crushing hug.

After a moment, I reluctantly pulled back – instantly missing the touch full of sweet kindness. I handed him part of our too-large meal and pulled him down to kiss his head.

"Bye...Mara..."

As he walked out, it took a great deal of effort not to put my boot up his behind.

 _Why'd he have to say it like that?! That's how beings say goodbye to each other in holo-dramas – just before one of them dies! UGH!_

I grumbled to myself as I turned back inside and shut the door, calling out that dinner was ready. When I looked to the inner door it was to find _him_ standing there. That same perplexed look on his face.

"What?" Definitely did _not_ care how much I snapped that word.

"It's just... Nothing." He shook his head, picking up some containers. "Sorry..."

* * *

Dinner was...uneventful. Apparently sensing an all-around need for a break from the last topic of discussion, after I had left the topic of "Anakin Skywalker – Jedi Goofball" had arisen. It was this topic that carried Ahsoka and Luke through dinner and dessert.

I sat on the outskirts of the conversation, truly content to simply sit and listen. It was a pure coincidental bonus that "dark dirty emperor's secrets" were no longer a focus.

Ahsoka had an almost literal glow about her while talking about her adventures as a young Jedi padawan and her one-time master. And Luke... He soaked it up like a man starving. I could only guess what sorts of things he'd been told about his father before this. Probably a nice change to get the other side. The _before_.

I knew Anakin Skywalker, in a sense. Never met him, or Vader for that matter. But Luke wasn't the only one who'd sliced their way into Palpy's secrets. So, yeah...I read about Anakin – through the eyes of Darth Sidious.

Not really something I'd expect to be as well received as a story about Anakin babysitting a baby Hutt.

The conversation faded as the last bits of caf (ever-so-slightly liberally spiked with a bit of the local distilled poison) were drained, and Ahsoka offered the spare cot. Luke gave his thanks and as he settled in, we made our way up the back stairs to our rooms.

"I am sorry. If we had any idea...any clue..."

I turned to her as we reached the top of the stairs. "Come on, Ahsoka. You couldn't have known. You had the information you had. That's all you could go with." I laughed. "Besides...how many people 'write' these days?"

She gave me a small grin, but it faded fast. I turned away from her and started down the hall. I knew it was coming – the hesitancy was creeping from Ahsoka down the small hall and up my spine. I finally spun around to her right out side my door. "Not gonna happen."

"You could help him. And...help yourself."

"Help mysel- 'Soka! We don't even know what it is he's doing!"

"He said he was tying up loose ends. Ensuring the emperor – that Palpatine is well and truly gone."

"'Tying up loose ends'? Seriously? I don't know about Jedi, but in most folks' books, that means 'eliminate'. As in 'make dead'."

"Oh, Mara. Don't be so dramatic." She paused to give me an extra-serious look. "I mean it. It wouldn't do you any harm to face your past. You bury it as much as you bury...the rest. Deal with it – help Luke deal with it – and it might help you gain more balance."

"Face my past, huh? Yeah...tell me again how well that worked for you? When you met up with your old master." I regretted it the moment it came out my mouth, even more so with the look on Ahsoka's face. "Sorry... That was... Sorry. I just – you say 'deal with it' and I still hear 'dead Mara'."

She nodded solemnly and made her way down the hall to her room. I watched and wasn't surprised when she paused and turned to me.

"Maybe you'll have to do it the same way as me, after all. Maybe you do have to die – a little – before you can come back to the light."


	7. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning was...awkward, to say the least. I couldn't hold the comments of the previous night against Ahsoka any more than she would me. But they were still there. Hovering over the dry grains in my breakfast bowl.

And if our illustrious Jedi visitor noticed, he, again, didn't show it.

 _Such a polite houseguest..._

Ahsoka had run out early, leaving me with _him_ alone. I knew what she was trying to do. She saw this whole situation as a way to make up for a past mistake. A mistake she seemed to think meant _she_ was the reason behind my whole life being what it was. I wasn't having any of it. I figured she expected me to instantly change my mind and freely endenture myself to the man.

I thought him lucky to simply have survived the morning.

What can I say? It's a self-preservation thing. If you know something is most likely going to kill you – get away from it. Far, far away. You definitely don't give it a reason to kill you and make it breakfast while it sharpens its claws.

Luckily, as I may have mentioned – we're the only mechanics in town.

Everyone and their mother came to the shop that morning. (Two mothers, actually...) Busy busy busy leads to absolutely zero life-altering revelations. And, luckily, farmboy could handle minor repairs. That fact very likely saved his life.

After a mad rush of incoming jobs, we spent the next couple of hours contentedly working away. There wasn't much talking necessary, each of us set to our tasks. Small comments of "Where's this tool?" and "Pass that tool", and the buzz and spark of droid surgery were all that permeated the air. It was...nice. And just for a little while, I forgot the guy sitting next to me could very well ruin and/or end my quirky (yet very much preferred) existence.

That was, until, Ahsoka came back.

Stupid former Jedi.

She came through the back door and stopped short of completely barging in when she saw the two of us sitting peacefully at the work table. When I looked up, she was beaming.

"You told him." Statement. Not question. I practically growled at her.

"Told me what?" Luke turned from his work to join the conversation. I turned back to my work to get _away_ from the conversation.

"Mara..." Nope. "Mara." Nuh-uh. "Mara. Tell him or I will."

The seriousness in her voice (her "general's voice") had me jolting and I ended up burning my hand on the torch I was holding. Luke whipped back at my yelp, taking my hand to see the damage.

"Tell me what?" he asked, cringing at the burn.

I just closed my eyes.

"She's one of them. One of the Force-sensitive children Palpatine gathered."

My hand was suddenly no longer held and I didn't need to open my eyes to know he had practically jumped away from me. The...revulsion was oozing off of him in waves. It was enough to make me nauseous and I struggled to keep my breakfast from becoming a rather nasty lunch.

It was worse than the girl at the station. Worse than Ahsoka's first glimpse. I never wanted to open my eyes again – I never wanted to see the look on that man's face that accompanied this feeling.

"You're... You're..." He hesitated, making me think I wasn't the only one who felt ill. But, then he made the mistake of continuing. "Child of Palpatine."

 _That_ had me opening my eyes.

Whatever look had been on Luke's face had been erased by a wash of pure fear. And I had no doubt as to what he saw on mine.

It had happened before – a surge of the dark so strong that there was nothing I could do to contain it. It took over – I wasn't me any more. The dark was all.

It was usually after "boosters", those random days where – either by shot or surgery – more of that tangible dark was introduced into my body. I would wake up in a frenzied daze and lurch to the mirror to find two black holes staring out from where my eyes used to be. Thin filigree of black traced just under my skin. Ugly sneer sometimes on my lips.

As the green lightsaber gleamed into existence, it took every ounce of control I had (and then some) to keep from crushing it, and the man holding it.

"Don't. Call me. That. Je'daii."

"Mara." Ahsoka came up beside me, gently (but firmly) placing a calming hand on my shoulder. I was so tensed, I nearly grabbed it and...well, it wouldn't have been nice. "Mara. It's okay," she said, leaking light and calm through the cracks of my rather shoddy containing wall of control. "Luke...if you could just put the saber down."

I was still glaring daggers at him, so unsurprisingly, he didn't move.

"Probably a good idea," I said, trying to sound as flippant as possible. "We're pretty sure Eckar can see through walls." I managed to toss a joking glance in the direction of the street out front and the general area of where Eckar would come barreling in, should that comment had had any truth to it.

After a few moments, the blade disappeared. The hilt stayed firmly grasped, though, and I couldn't really fault him for that.

"Uh...'Soka...could you, umm..." I reached up to try and pry her clutch off my shoulder. We both gave a halfhearted chuckle as she released and dropped her hand, but didn't move away.

"So," she said, turning to Luke, "it seems you know a bit more after all."

"Oh. No. Not really. The 'Child of-'"

"Seriously?" I'd dropped my gaze, waiting for the shadow around me to fade and so as not to continue freaking everyone out, but that snapped me back up.

"Sorry..." And he meant it. Weirdly enough... " _That_ was the name of the...operation, I suppose. The program. It was on the few files I did find." He paused, visibly trying to decide the next step. "And there were subtle hints as to some of the...facets, I suppose, of the program. I just... I didn't expect..." He stuttered off.

By that point, I'd reined _it_ in. When I looked up and caught him staring wide-eyed at me, it was a small relief that the fear was no longer there. Nor that _other_ feeling – whatever it had been. I had expected anger or some other emotion that meant a being was thinking murder. All I got was...curiosity.

"Well... How about lunch?" Ahsoka offered.

"Yup, got it." Again – I joyfully took the exit.

It wasn't far this time, just to the kitchen in the back. But it was far enough away that the talk between the two Jedi (okay...one Jedi and one sort-of Jedi) was just a buzzing in the background.

I'm no great cook, not by any means. When we didn't eat at the cantina, meals usually consisted of leftovers or odd creations from what looked interesting at the market. Of course, this particular day it looked like leftovers was all that was on the menu.

When attempting to avoid (yet another!) conversation, reheating leftovers does not afford the best delay tactic. Unless you walk really, really slowly...

"Need some help?"

I jumped, hot soup going all down my front.

"I swear Je'daii – you're going to be the death of me," I grumbled. Standing and just focusing on the scalding heat of the soup instead of the man kneeling in front of me picking up the dropped bowl.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Ahsoka said it shouldn't take that long and she suggeste-" He stopped short as he finally stood up and tossed the broken pieces of bowl on the counter. "You're drenched. That has to burn." He grabbed a towel and went to dab at my shirt, but I stepped back.

"It's fine. Really. All good. Other bowls are there. I'm just gonna change..." I didn't wait for a reply, just walked out. Breezed past Ahsoka and up the stairs.

Stupid Jedi.

When I came back down (after using the ole wardrobe change delay tactic), the two of them were sitting stoically, sipping away at their soup and nibbling on toast.

"That's not ominous or anything..." I snickered, reaching for a bowl of soup and then changing my mind.

Suddenly had no appetite.

"So..."

"Mara," Ahsoka started, putting her own bowl down. "Like I said last night..."

"Yeah. Sure. Alright. Whatever." I peeked at them without raising my head and found them taking cautious glances from the other to me and back. "Makes sense, right? I tell what I know, we hunt down whatever is left. Balance is achieved, or whatever..."

 _I spend whatever I have left of my life being poked and prodded by a new set of folks – normalcy evaded forever._

I was acting like a petulant child, and I knew it. But I didn't really care. Part of me agreed – it was a good idea. Ensuring nothing was left, that nothing like... _me_ could happen again. Good.

But there was another part, a bigger part, that just had a really bad feeling about it.

* * *

There wasn't much discussion about it. A few attempts to give me a way out. Me fervently (stupidly!) turning them down. Skywalker relaying his thanks and assurances that I'd be a big help.

It happened in the blink of an eye. One moment I had a normal life – at least, as normal as _I_ could get. The next, I was packing for a trip down a hyperspace lane I did _not_ want to travel.

As I made my way back down the stairs, with a small pack slung over a shoulder, Ahsoka waited for me at the bottom.

She handed me a rather hefty looking pouch which jangled as it swung. "What's that?"

"I went around and collected a few past-due bills," she said, turning me so she could put the pouch in my bag herself when I wouldn't take it.

"'Soka..."

"Don't." She turned me back, one hand on each of my forearms. "Don't forget to eat. And to take care of yourself. Inside and out." A wink. "And should Skywalker get on your nerves too badly, you can always come back." She paused before pulling me into a tight hug, ignoring my rolling eyes at the motherly lecture. Neither of us was young enough to need it, but it was nice.

She pushed me back to arm's length again. "I really think this is the right thing for you to do."

"Oh yeah? Let me guess... The Force tell you that?"

"Yeah. It did." Another pause. "What does the Force tell you?"

I pretended to consider it for a bit. " _Not_ to kill Luke Skywalker. Even though I really _really_ want to."

She laughed. "He'll grow on you."

"Yeah...like a life-sucking parasite maybe..." Another laugh. "Seriously...was his dad like that too?"

"A bit different...but... Yes. Yes he was."

"Great. Note to self – don't have _him_ father any of my children."

That really had her going. I joined her as we made our way out front and I caught Skywalker's confused gaze. Solemnity returned as Ahsoka and Luke said their farewells and he stepped out the door. I moved to follow him but paused when Ahsoka called my name.

"May the Force be with you."

"It better be. And with you, too." I motioned to my bag. "This is definitely not all you owe me in back pay."

With a smirk and a sloppy salute, I turned to follow Skywalker down the street. I almost stopped at Eckar's door, but decided the previous night's goodbye was enough.

I know what you're thinking – joking at a time like this? Of course, I was not as jovial as my words gave the impression I was. The smart and off-the-cuff remarks... I knew that Ahsoka knew – we both knew they were just for show.

The walk to the spaceport was quiet. Getting on the ship was quiet. It eventually turned awkward.

"So...where was your next stop?" I asked from the co-pilot's seat. When he didn't respond, I added, "You know... Where were you headed before you realized you needed fuel?"

He still said nothing. As we left the spaceport and atmosphere in general behind, I stubbornly refused to continue attempting conversation.

 _This isn't my holo. It's all yours farmboy._

Eventually, he turned from the controls. Hesitantly meeting my gaze, I was kind of surprised to see doubt clouding his eyes. He seemed extremely uncomfortable, which was odd. I mean, we'd been alone in a room before. A few times even.

Sure. A room on solid ground is a bit different from a cramped cockpit in the nothingness of space. But still...wasn't like I was about to pounce on him.

"I was hoping you might have a...suggestion," he finally said.

"Ah. Huh. Well...honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I mean, the one place I do know is -"

I had heard him mumbling...something. But I hadn't _really_ heard it, ya know? But he got louder. Or just the words got louder...? His voice didn't raise, but the words were suddenly pounding in my head and -

Nothing.

Just...nothing.

For a moment, there was no ship. No stars. Just a black void. It was like before, with the "boosters", but not a surge really. Just...dark.

Everywhere. And...nowhere.

"Mara. Can you hear me?"

"Yes." Did I say that out loud? I couldn't remember.

"Okay...okay. What was the purpose behind your...creation?"

"I don't know."

"Ummm...what is the purpose – the planned use of a child of Palpatine?"

"I don't know." _That_ voice with _that_ name should have garnered a different response – _any_ response. But it didn't.

"How many others are there?"

"I don't know."

"Where are the others located?"

"I don't know."

This continued for a bit. Variety of questions, different variations. He got frustrated, I could feel it. A part of me (very very tiny and barely a flicker) got a kick out of that. The dark...

Well, the dark thought he was an idiot. The code had been right, but the questions he asked were all wrong.

His frustration eventually got the better of him, and that's when he really goofed.

"Tell me what I want to know, or I will get another to."

Weird thing about mental programming – it's finicky. You program someone right, they'll do anything. Lead you to hidden bases. Divulge secrets stored away. Kill loyal comrades they've fought beside for years.

But if, somewhere along the line, you say something that is just so obviously incorrect (and you say it a lot), that programming can go...off.

Probably why Palpy went with 66. I mean, if it had been 65 and he'd been tired and ended up saying it backwards and put out a call for "Order 56", who knows where we'd be today.

Luke Skywalker probably wouldn't have been standing in front of a, now, fully awake (and painfully aware) person practically brimming with dark energy.

'Cause that's another problem with programming. Most folks don't _know_ if they've been programmed. And should they find out...well...usually not too thrilled with the programmer.

The guy who casually triggered said programming, without so much as a head's up to his not-so-willing travel companion who is practically brimming with kriffing dark energy?! That is what most folks call a death wish.

"One more time... Where is the base located?"

Now fully out of the program (but still severely pissed off), I rumbled off a set of coordinates. So shocked to finally get an actual response, I had to repeat it twice more before he got it in the navicomputer.

Once it was set and we were off, he led me back to the small kitchen/dining/lounge section and had me sit. Seemingly assured I was still "under" or whatever, he left me there and returned to the cockpit.

Even with the wavering uncomfortable aura around him, I had no trouble maintaining the dark shadow around myself as I sat and plotted.

I hadn't promised Ahsoka I wouldn't kill the Je'daii. But she'd probably still be really upset when I did...


	8. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

He hadn't bothered "checking" on me the entire trip to the outpost, which was rather smart. The first few hours was a real struggle to not just barge up to the cockpit, Force-snatch his little glowstick and stick it right through his back.

Eventually, I calmed down.

A little.

I figured it would be more entertaining to lead him to one outdated clue and _then_ kill him. Leaving his body to rot in the hollows of a derelict (and utmost secret) Imperial base. Never to be found...

Yup. That worked.

So I sat, happily picturing all the different ways I could go about this little plan, with the occasional "dumped out an airlock" for good measure. It wasn't terribly difficult to maintain my "dark persona", given the topic of my ponderings. It _was_ difficult to keep from giggling at those ponderings, especially when Mr. Naïvety Himself came back to let me know we'd landed.

 _Talking to the programmed help. How sweet..._

We shuffled out the ship, a little astromech droid popping out from nowhere to tweedle after us.

Luke paused on the ramp. "It's alright Artoo. Stay here and look after the ship." The unspoken command was obvious - "Nobody comes on without me."

I hadn't turned to watch the little security exchange. I was frozen, staring at a burnt and broken entrance I never thought I'd see again. Never _wanted_ to see again, much less walk through.

"You okay?" It was soft and gentle. Mixed with the hand hovering at the small of my back, it almost broke my resolve.

Almost.

I didn't respond. Just walked forward.

We made our way in silence through the main level. Here, it looked like what it was meant to appear to be – a simple outpost. I doubt any of the soldiers stationed there had any idea as to what was done so-many meters below their boots.

All the way to the back where the lift was secreted behind a maintenance closet door – hidden in plain sight. It was probably only discovered by rebels because they would have been looking for supplies, as well as hidden troopers.

"I don't think the lift will run... The power has been sketchy throughout the building..." He seemed hesitant, suddenly cautious and aware of what he was doing.

 _A little late for that..._

I hit the button and the doors opened. I walked in, but Luke didn't follow until I pushed the down button and the doors began to close.

The power to the outpost would have been hit by rebels, of course. But the power to the base below was separate and more secure. So when the doors opened a few moments later, it was on a bright hallway.

He paused every once in a while as we made our way down the hall. Past exam rooms and operating theaters. Past training rooms and bunkrooms.

Past the bodies.

He stopped. I had no desire. Seen it all before, of course. Nothing appeared to have changed from that last day, however many years ago. The folks in the nearest town had always considered the outpost as no good, haunted even. Apparently the idea was still going strong.

I almost walked right past it, as focused as I was at _not_ looking at anything. It was the blown control panel that caught my eye. I stopped right in front of the cell it belonged to and tried hard not to see it.

And, of course, failed miserably.

 _Home again, home again..._ Kudos to me for not even the slightest glimmer of a tear.

Luke finally caught up, his face carefully composed. But the anger and disgust at what he saw and what his mind surely deduced was ebbing off of him.

"Control center?" he asked and, without waiting for an answer, walked right in.

The thought of a barrier activating was easy to implant, as part of him had already been expecting it.

He whipped around as it hummed to "life" across the front of the cell. "Uh...Mara?" When he got no response, he marched up to just shy of the "field". "Mara. I...I _order_ you to let me out."

I must have had a more sinister smirk on my face then I'd planned, based off the look he gave me as I strolled up to the "barrier" myself.

"You...order me, Je'daii? Really?" I let the shadow drop away then, let the black fade from my eyes and the green to glow. "I don't think so."

I wanted him to know it was me who was going to kill him. Not the dark – _me_.

"How did... How did you...? You broke the programming?"

"Better question – did you have any idea of what you were doing? What you could have done?" He was good enough to look abashed. " _I_ don't even know what that...that 'programming' does, and you just went and triggered it without a thought!"

"I... I was..." He was turning into a moral quagmire before my eyes.

"You were afraid. Afraid of Palpatine and what he had done. What he may still do." I paused, preparing the final jab. "Well, we know what fear leads to..."

With that, I turned and left him locked up in his thoughts.


	9. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Okay. You got me... I didn't _leave_ him leave him. I went to the control room and watched him. Happy?

It was amusing, to say the least. He tried to get an idea of how strong the "barrier" was a few times. I just made it stronger in his mind each time. Eventually he gave up when his prosthetic hand seemingly shorted out after its attempt at reaching out.

It was nice to know that that skill hadn't waned due to lack of use.

He paced for a bit, circling the room over and over. Eventually he started actually noticing things – flicked through some holo-novels, peered under the cot and in the desk. I assumed he was still trying to figure out how to get out and I really wanted to get on the PA system and scream at him.

 _You wanted info – find the info!_

Finally! He sat down to the console, prepared to hack his way in. I thoroughly enjoyed the look of shock when he realized he wouldn't need to.

Like I said – I'd already sliced my way through most of the records on base and a few more beyond.

While he read, I alternated between watching him read and trying my hand at slicing a bit further from my new entry console. Of course, this kept my mind rather busy and my resolve to kill the illustrious Jedi faded.

It evaporated completely at the first twinge of anguish I felt from him.

I was virtually elbows-deep in records when the sudden urge to cry tickled my eyes. And when I turned to the camera view, I realized it was coming from that tiny cell. Luke was still sat in front of the console, practically nose-to-screen; but then he'd pushed away from the desk completely like he'd just kissed a Sarlacc.

I figured that was my cue. As I set the console to save the data I'd found and made my way down the hall, the feeling got stronger. I knew part of it was the connection from maintaining the illusion of the containment field, and I was hesitant to drop it just yet.

Besides - most of it was Luke. Whether it was a conscious act or not, he was letting the feeling roll off of him like a fog.

He didn't turn when I stepped to the "barrier", remaining hunched in the chair on the other side of the room. He looked...deflated. Worn. Like he was still surprised that things of this...nature still occurred in the galaxy.

"That's how you broke the programming." It wasn't a question, so I didn't answer. "I kept asking about the others. I said I would just go to someone else and get answers." He turned then, and my eyes very nearly teared up at the look on his face. "But there are no others, are there?"

Ah. A question. "The last one I ever saw... The last one like me, I mean... I was told he died – he _failed_ – two boosters before...well, the 'end', I suppose." A pause. "I thought maybe there were other places like this but I could never find any sign of one."

He nodded, as if storing that nugget of information away. "Boosters?" He looked like he was going to turn back to the console to look it up before it apparently clicked. "Oh."

"That was my definition of time. Booster sessions. Shots. Operations." I laughed, quiet and ever-so-slightly crazed. "I suppose I could've gone by sleep cycles, but they were never as...consistent."

"I'm sorry...," he said, seeming to collapse into himself again. "I had...no idea. What they did... I'm sorry."

"Does it really make that much of a difference?" My tone struck because he snapped back up to meet my gaze meekishly. "If you had known? You would have still done what you did." Not a question. And he didn't bother responding. "Guess you're not as magnanimous as the holos make you out to be, huh?" I dropped the tough routine then. Got tired of it. "The best part – this is where I was gonna suggest we start in the first place. I was _willing_ to give you this. But you jumped face-first into something you probably didn't understand. How did you plan on saving anyone from this as-yet unknown danger if you're dead?"

Again, no response. And I didn't need one. He'd known it was stupid from the get. I knew it. He knew it. Even more now, probably. Hopefully.

I shrugged and started to walk away when he called out.

"Uh...Mara... The barrier?"

I stopped without turning around and sighed. It shouldn't have been that easy to maintain that illusion. Not with so little focus. It should, also, not have been so easy for me to register that wave of emotion from so far away.

I looked over my shoulder. "What barrier?" Then I moved on. It was a few moments before I heard him following, but he caught up quickly enough.

"How did you do that?" Obviously the delay had only been part hesitancy as to whether the field was actually gone, and he'd found the busted control panel and went to the next obvious conclusion.

"Old trick. My...original skill, if you will. I've always been good with getting folks to help me out. Extra charisma, I suppose. Came in handy, I'm sure, as a young street urchin. Didn't really know what it was till I got here... I have a strong mind. Stronger will than most. Where some, if not most, Force-users can send thoughts in abstract terms or bend weaker minds, I can do more."

"Like...make a Jedi master think he's locked behind an electric field. So strong, in fact, that said Jedi would think his _prosthetic_ hand had shorted out after encountering said 'field'." At this, he flexed the fingers of his right hand, as if confirming they all still worked.

"Amongst other things." We'd reached the control room and I made my way to the console I'd been pulling data from.

"Like?"

"Like...," I started as I pulled the finished disk from the console and turned to hand it to him. "Passing along information without saying a word."

And that's exactly what I did, the statement not crossing my lips but my mind to his, as clearly as if I'd whispered it directly in his ear. And I was rewarded with a shocked smile.

"Impressive."

"Yeah. Makes me a great spy." I turned to the camera monitor and projected what I saw to him. The gasp from behind me had a stupid smirk planted on my face. When I turned back, the smirk was copied to his, obviously from seeing his own shocked face. "Alright. Enough of me showing off."

He laughed. "So, you think we're done here?"

"Ha! I was done before we even got here! But yeah. I think we have all we're going to get from here. And I'd rather dig into it...elsewhere."

We made our way back up and out, the silence a bit more relaxed than the first trip. Still...

"Skywalker." I stopped just before the ramp of the ship, he already a few steps up. "I need to know... I need you to understand – what happened before, what you did, it _can't_ happen again." I tried for just seriousness, but a bit of threatening may have crept in.

He stepped back down the ramp and almost reached out, to take my hand in his maybe, before just standing.

"I assure you – I never want to do anything like that _ever_ again."

And much to my surprise, I believed him.


	10. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I took us up and out, setting coordinates for the only other intensely secret base I could find in the records, while Luke made up a meal. Once in hyperspace, I joined him in the back, leaving Artoo to monitor our progress.

As I sat, the craziness of the situation hit me. Just a few hours before, from that very chair, I had been plotting the death of the man now sat across from me and handing me a plate of food.

Don't get me wrong – I was still _super_ pissed at him. But...I don't know. I guess I could understand it. Sort of. I had read all the different theologies and myths. Today's Jedi...well, the Jedi of most recent times anyway, were super-duper anti-dark. It was the worst thing they could imagine. And that's obviously the lesson Luke was given by whoever taught him.

Then there was the over-the-top evilness of Palpy... Yeah. I'd be a little freaked out too if I found out he was making super-charged copies of himself.

But going with a no-holds-barred, anything goes routine to ensure that that little Sithy plan failed seemed a little...dark to me. I can't love or hate or be sad or angry, but I can take advantage of a person's genetically twisted brain on the chance it might unleash the exact thing I'm trying to destroy...?

Seems a bit stupid.

So, I figured I'd pity him for his lack of intelligence instead of punishing him for it. Besides...he seemed to do enough of that on his own.

"So...what about you?"

My philosophical musings had been occupying my mind while he told me about all the fun of growing up on a moisture farm. Of course, as a good little Imp, I'd read the file on "Enemy #1" and knew most of it already. Just nodded and smiled in the appropriate spots, but apparently it was my turn to share...

"What about me?"

"Well...where did you grow up? What about your family?" He looked up from the caf he was mixing and caught what had to be an extremely dumbfounded look on my face. "Oh...no. I meant...before. You said something about street urchins...?"

"Ah. Right. Well...I don't actually remember too much. And there wasn't really much in my file in that regard. I was found on Corellia, possibly born there but it's unknown. Sold to the Empire at the age of, maybe, 5 or 6. I'd been snatched off the street by the guy that sold me, and he must've mentioned I was an orphan living on the streets to ensure nobody would be looking for me. That was a note in the entry log. That's all there is."

"Wow. And I thought living under my uncle's rule was tough. I'm...I'm sorry."

"You know, you keep saying that. It's my life, Je'daii. You apologizing for it isn't going to change what happened." I smirked. "But the sentiment is appreciated."

He returned the smile as I got up and gathered dishes and trash. The smile faded back to that ever present quizzical look before I could even open the trash receptacle.

"Why do you say it like that? 'Je'daii'?"

"You are also always asking questions..." The only response I got was the return of the smirk. I gave an exasperated sigh. "Geez...never thought I'd have to tell a _Jedi_ the history of their own order..."

We whiled away the rest of the trip discussing histories and legends, until Artoo bweeped to let us know we were on final approach.

"All I'm saying is," I said as we made our way to the cockpit, "if you're going to start a school, start it fresh."

"Yeah, but why fix what's not broken?"

"Ha! Not broken, indeed. Why not take all the different philosophies and see what works for who first before you set the ground rules? A bit of balance can go a long way..." I slyly motioned to myself as the perfect example.

"I suppose it's possible. I mean, it's not like I was left with a whole lot of direction..."

The conversation faded as we came out of hyperspace and we got our first look at our next stop. A rather unimposing planet. A couple of moons.

And a rather thick ring of what appeared to be automated weapons stations.

"Are those what I think they are?" I asked, reaching for the shield controls.

"Looks like we're in the right place. What are the chances this place is still manned and _those_ are still armed?"

An urgent screech from Artoo, quickly followed by a shot on both port and starboard, answered that question. That was subsequently followed by static on the comm.

"Unknown vessel, you have entered Imperial Remnant space without prior authorization. Identify yourself, or you will be fired upon again."

"Yeah," Luke sad as he started maneuvering away from the weapons stations, "I'd say high chance for both."

"I'd say he's not going to be so nice with the next shots." I checked shields and moved power back as we moved further ahead of the stations. "What the hell is the 'Imperial Remnant'?"

"Leftover factions of the Empire. The whole 'New Republic' thing seems to still be a work-in-progress."

"Fantastic. Well...plan?"

"Unknown vessel – this is your last warning."

Luke grinned as he flicked off the comm. "My turn to show off."

My stomach hit my throat as we suddenly dove, then it retreated all together with the next spiral up. Jibing and tacking, Luke treated the ship like a starfighter, as he danced around shot after shot.

"As impressed as I am with your flying, how does this get us on the planet?"

"Well...how about we crash?"

"What is it with you and death wishes? I would like to think there's more to this plan than that. Preferably – survival."

The grin got bigger. "How far can you stretch that super-power of yours?"

Okay...possibly less crazy. "Not this far. Maybe if we were closer to the planet. Best – within atmo. But it's not going to be very believable. I don't think the stations have that kind of range."

"I've got that part. You find us some place to crash...well...land."

I pulled up as much data Artoo and the ship could give me and managed to find a decent spot. It was a fair ways from the base, separated by just nasty terrain. Meant it would be a hike, but pretty much guaranteed no one would bother doing more than a flyover to be sure we crashed.

"Got it," I announced as I sent the coordinates to Luke's display.

"'Kay. Hold on."

"Hold on?" I didn't get much further than that before a shot hit and we were suddenly tail-spinning down to the surface. I swear – that damn fool Jedi actually let go of the controls for half the fall!

We landed – hard.

"Okay. What exactly did you want _me_ to do again?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he rested a hand on my arm and pointed with the other towards a small speck in the sky. A speck that was growing bigger.

I nodded and closed my eyes, reaching out to find the flickering mind in that speck. And another, just behind. They were as amped up as the living ball of adrenaline sitting beside me. Apparently life on this little base was rather dull.

 _Silly boys..._

I saw the image of the ship in both their minds. Took it and twisted it and made it glow. A huge explosion. Nothing could have survived. No way no how.

I barely heard the buzz as they flew over, my mind full of rising smoke and dimming flames. I let it continue until the flickers faded and thoughts of caf and showers and that cute comm officer took over.

That's when I finally registered the nails digging into my arm.

"Uh...Luke..." He continued staring blankly out the window. "Yo! Je'daii! Let go!" I yanked my arm, trying to get away from the clamp he had on it. He finally jerked back to the here-n-now and let go.

"Sorry... It was just... I could see it. Flames all around us. It was so...real." He'd turned to see me rubbing my arm, but had then gone right back to staring out the viewport.

"Well...it wasn't aimed at you," I said, taking in the look on his face. "Not intentionally..." He met my gaze then, and I quickly turned away. _What was with me and this guy...?_ That was a thought for...later. Much later. "Anyway...guess we should leave. Sooner we get going, the sooner we can...leave," I finished lamely.

I got up and headed to the back before any other odd thoughts could pop up. Waiting at the exit, I watched as he gave instructions to his trusty astromech droid before joining me.

We made our way down the ramp and around to take in the damage. I'd got a glimpse from the Imps that had flown over, but then mentally blew the thing up, so... It didn't look terribly bad, but a bit more than I had guessed Luke had been shooting for.

Sure enough... "Must have misjudged the angle of that shot. This is about the amount I was thinking you should project, not for us to actually sustain."

"Can we fix it?" I asked, pretty sure I knew the answer.

"Not with what's onboard. Even Artoo's not that good." He knelt down to get a closer look. "We might be able to find some parts at the base. But the trick will be hiding it until then."

"I...might have an idea for that. But...you're not going to like it."


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"So long as it doesn't involve _more_ damage, I'm good."

"Well, it does...sort of," I replied as I looked around for something that would suit my needs. "I don't even know if it will work... But short of blowing the thing up..."

"No thanks."

"Exactly. Ah!" I picked up a small, pale rock and juggled it as I thought. It was going to be tricky... Slightly messy... Kind of dark... I turned and marched up the ramp, heading for the spare bunk and my pack.

"So what _are_ you doing?" Luke asked as he followed me in.

"It's kind of like an automatic answer thing," I explained as I dug through the pack. "Like you get when you call someone's comm and they're not there to pick up. So if someone does come by, they'll see a wreck instead of the slightly damaged ship." Finding the knife I'd been looking for I turned to the door. "Hopefully."

"Okay... So what does a rock, a knife, and me not liking it have to do with...that?"

I gave him an awkward smile. "Well...I'm basically going to try and...stick the projection I used on the pilots to the rock..." Pause. "With some dark alchemy..." I breezed past him as he stood gape-mouthed in the doorway.

"Wait..." He spun around as I started digging through a drawer. "What?!"

"Like I said. I'm not even sure it'll work. Probably should use a living thing. But I didn't see any small critters out there. I'm hoping my blood mixed with some...well...dark 'stuff' will do it." I stopped my search and turned to him. "You got a med kit onboard?"

He absentmindedly pointed to a cabinet across the room. I reached it, pulled out some quik-stitch gel and some gauze and tape. When I turned back, he was still standing there staring at me.

"What?"

"I just... I just got the impression you didn't really like to mess with...well... _that..._ "

"I don't," I retorted indignantly as I plopped in a chair.

"But this was the first thought that came to mind...?"

"No. My first thought was to blow it up and find another ship to fly off in. But you seem rather fond of this one. And a second explosion might be a smidge suspicious."

He gave a slight nod and a shrug in agreement. I took a deep breath, letting it out as I raised the knife -

"Wait!"

"What?" I sighed, dropping hands back to the table.

"Umm...uhh..." He stuttered and squirmed before finally taking root right up against the wall opposite where I was sitting. "Nothing."

"Okay..." I glared a bit to put a bit of emphasis of _hush_ out there before turning back to the table. But... "Uh...just in case...the ship's not really on fire..."

He nodded, resolutely staring at the rock. I sighed again before starting.

Deep breath in. Breath out and knife came down to hand. As the knife cut, I pictured the wreck I'd shown the pilots. The smell of the smoke. The heat coming off burnt metal. The sharp red line across my palm started to blur as blood pooled. I reached that hand to the rock and grasped it tight. And then I started to push.

The image in my mind became tangible. A viscous thing, attaching itself to a piece of dark. I took that piece and mentally pushed it from my head, down my arm, through the cut in my palm. I pulled energy from that "other" that was always there. Not light, not dark, just...there. I used it to help peel the dark/thought from me and attach it to the rock.

When I set the rock down, it was black. The line on my palm still red. Slightly darker than before, but so long as it wasn't black...

I don't know how long I sat there, just staring at my hand. Probably not too long. I kept staring as Luke cleaned and bandaged the cut. So gentle. Part of me wanted to jerk my hand away, not wanting to risk contaminating him.

Most of me just appreciated the gentle touch.

"Well...that was fun," I finally said, once I was sure I wouldn't puke and/or cry directly upon opening my mouth.

"Did it work?" he asked quietly as he finished taping my hand.

"Only one way to find out." I stood, wobbling for a bit. He reached out to steady me and I stubbornly waved him back, nodding appreciatively though. I hesitated to pick up the rock, fearful of that little dark piece making its way back...in.

Seeing my hesitance, Luke grabbed it. I started to shout an objection (warning?), but felt a bit foolish. Nothing happened, of course. It was just my fear...

I walked out the ship, Luke right behind me. Once outside, I took the rock by the Force and placed it on top of the ship. Then turned expectantly to the only person nearby who might actually see something.

"Well...?"

"Huh. It's weird... It's like an overlay. I see the wreck... But I _also_ see the ship as it is..." He skeptically reached a hand out towards what should be a shard of metal, and laughed. "It's warm. And I can smell the hint of smoke..."

"Hmm... I just hope it's vague because you were there when I made it..." _And I may have been ever-so-slightly shielding you while I was doing it..._ "We should probably shut everything down, just in case. So it doesn't have a chance of popping up on scans. And that includes the little guy."

We made our way back in to gather supplies and turn everything off.

"I actually thought we'd take Artoo with us. He'll be able to access things faster than either of us."

"It'll be tough-going for us. Not sure how he'll do..."

"Aww, don't worry," Luke said, patting the little droid's dome companionably. "Artoo's been through worse terrain."

I swear, that droid rolled his "eye" at that statement. The mechanical grown he gave almost screamed "Seriously? Again?".

I just laughed. "Well...he's your droid..."

We packed up supplies and turned everything off on the ship. Making it up the outcropping was easier than I'd thought it would be. And I have to admit, that little R2 could move. Once we got to the top and saw what lay ahead, however, was a different story.

What had looked like a simple, but tricky, rocky terrain from above turned out to be the most annoying expanse of plants ever. Why so annoying? Nettles. Thorns. Spikes. You name it – it was a sea of stabby-stabby stems. And leaves. Heck – I think the flowers had points.

The most annoying part? They were tall. And all the stabby-stabby? At the tops. Artoo just cruised through, while me and Luke were left crawling. Even then, it was a struggle to keep hair (and other conveniently placed accoutrements) from being snagged and snarled.

Now, I'd of course be groomed for arduousness. It had been a while since I'd been in quite so...uncomfortable conditions. (No, I'm still not telling about the dancing stint at the Hutt's.) But I was rather impressed with ole Skywalker's skills. Not so much as a quick intake of breath when a particularly nasty thorn jabbed his shoulder, deep enough to break off the plant it had been attached to. He just slowly reached up, plucked it out, and flicked it off into the distance.

So, yeah, color me impressed. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of Jedi technique could allow one to be that near-oblivious to their surroundings. _Meditation? Breathing? Mind over matter?_ So...I asked.

"The Force," he said. A statement stated with such "duh", he could have been talking about the color of the surrounding foliage.

"Seriously?" He said it so nonchalantly I not only stopped in my tracks, I sat in them.

"Sure. The Force is my ally. A great tool." He had kept moving, but must have realized I stopped and finally turned back. "Aren't...you?"

"No..." I said, shaking my head. Then I laughed. "I was instructed to save it up. That way, when you did use it – usually in some destructive or killing way – you'd get more bang for your credit." It looked like it was my turn to shock him with a blasé comment, so I continued quickly. "I mean, I've seen plenty of examples of, what I suppose you'd call, 'dark-side' users use the Force for all sorts of laziness. But...they were...well, idiots. I mean, you get the whole 'the Force is a give-n-take kind of partner' lesson, right?"

"Well...sure."

"Okay. So...you're taking – using the Force as a shield, or whatever. But...what are you giving?" He sat and pondered it as I watched. I could sense his "Force field" still around him, could almost see it – a shimmering outline. "Let go."

"Huh?"

"Drop it. Turn it off. Whatever. Just stop using it for a minute." He took a moment to concentrate and I saw the shimmer fade and then disappear completely. Then he looked back up at me expectantly. "Okay... Now how tired are you?"

"I'm fine..." But even as he said it, I could see the exhaustion creep in.

"Give and take. The Force is energy. Energy needs fuel to work. You use the energy, you give it fuel to continue." I paused and let that sink in, glancing at the map on the datapad. "We're a little less than halfway. What would've happened if we got to the end of this...trail, reached the base, and found a squadron of troopers waiting for us? You would have used all that energy to get there, then would have tapped into _more_ to fight. The Force might be limitless...but you're not."

He nodded thoughtfully and I could see the gears turning in his head.

"I agree with you," I added. "The Force is a great tool. You just have to remember – tools usually come with price tags."

I crawled past him, giving Artoo the okay to continue before following. Luke took another moment or so, but I sensed him coming up behind me soon enough. I could have suggested we stop, rest; but I was sure he would have stubbornly refused. So, on we went.

And I was still impressed – not a peep.


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

We got more than halfway before even Artoo was asking for a break. The sun was setting and, while we hadn't seen much wildlife during the day, that was no indication of what may come out at night.

Needing to find quick relief from the rough ground I'd been scrambling over for most of the day, I quickly dug out my bed roll and plopped down on it, still somewhat rolled. When I looked up, it was to find Luke staring at me with that same, damn puzzled look on his face.

"What?" I grumbled.

"What what?" All innocence.

"You've got that stupid look on your face again."

"What look?" He actually turned to Artoo and tried to find his reflection in the droid's outer shell.

"That look that says you're staring at the galaxy's most complex dejarik board, that's been shattered, and you have to piece it back together – figurines and all."

"Oh. Well... It's just..." He paused, obviously trying to figure out how best to word his query. "How you do you do it?"

"Do...what?"

"Well..." Deep breath. This was obviously going to be a fun conversation. "Balance...I suppose." When I didn't answer right away, he rushed on. "I mean, when I see you – really look – I sense the Force around you. Strongly. And, also, the dark...strongly. But...the things you do. What you say. It's just not very..."

"Dark?" I offered when he wavered off. He gave a slight shrug and a nod. I laughed. "Well...finding a balance is...tricky. And done very, very carefully. But I find looking at it directly helps. Seeing it for what it is – a part of me. Everyone has light and dark in them, good and bad. I just happen to have a bit...extra."

"There have been plenty of others who have had a good bit more dark to them. But they certainly didn't act like...this."

"Dark side users, I suppose? Sith?"

"Yes."

"And they're designated that because they're evil Force users?"

"Well...because they use the dark side of the Force and become evil, yes."

"And what makes it the dark side of the Force?"

And...stumped. He actually scratched his head in thought.

"If the Force is living energy – all around us, making us who we are – how can it be so readily split in two? Light and dark?" I paused, but not long enough for him to form an answer. "Simple – it can't. The Force is the Force. It just 'is'. If it were so easily defined in simple factions like 'good' and 'bad', the beings of the galaxy would be just as easily defined. All of them," I quickly added, sensing the rebute. "But they're not. Beings are as varied and as unique as the planets they come from. It's the Jedi and the Sith who have created these definitions of 'light' and 'dark'. Why? Because one too many decided to do things a bit differently."

"They chose to follow their feelings – allowed emotion to come into play with their actions too much."

"So the Jedi ban emotion all together? Use other factions to choose where and when they act? Eliminating an element that makes them the individual beings they are?"

"For the better," he retorted heatedly. "Emotion can cause errors in judgment, can cause you to react recklessly."

"Okay... Consider the plants that surround us. What if they were sentient? They may recognize your lightsaber and _fear_ you'll cut them down. They may be _angry_ at our intrusion into their space. They may _hate_ us for bending and breaking them as we pass. And yet, we're still here. Still in one peace.

"Emotions can do just as much good as bad. You can fear something so much, but eventually you find the strength to move past it. You can be so angry about something; but, eventually, you find the need to deal with it and find peace. You can hate something with all your being, you become compelled to learn everything you can about it – and see it's something you've come to love."

I watched him take it all in and saw the "but" form and hang between us.

"But...these plants aren't sentient. And they don't have the ability to use the Force."

"Fair enough. I concede the fact that Force sensitivity can play a big part in it. But it's like you said – the Force is a tool. So there is still an element of willful intent. It's all in how a person uses that tool. Another example for you..." I raised my hand, working the fingers together to conjure up a small spark of Force lightning; ever-so-slightly amused when Luke flinched.

"You see this as a weapon. A dark-side power used to harm. To kill. Or..." I leaned down, placing my hand close to a small pile of dried leaves and stems Artoo had been gathering while we talked. I snapped my fingers and lightning became flames. "...it could be used to light a fire to cook dinner."

I gave him a smirk and he replied in kind. The discussion tabled as we prepared and ate our meal in amiable silence.

"So..." Luke started up again, as he plugged Artoo into the small portable generator to charge. "Everyone is equal parts light and dark. Keep the balance and you're set. Emotions can throw off that balance; but if we deal with it, we can get balance back."

"Kind of...precise. But, yeah, it works." I laughed as I tucked away the trash and leftovers of our meal.

"It all comes down to the individual. Their choices."

"Exactly. It also probably helps if they haven't had 'feelings are bad' drilled into their head." Another smirk.

He smiled, but returned to serious as he said, "But back to you. You said...you had 'dark' put _in_ you."

"Dark-infused-something. Yes. I'm not disavowing the existence of 'light' and 'dark' energy. It's an alchemical possibility, obviously. To create a viable, _material_ piece of the Force and infuse it with dark aspects. Or light aspects for that matter."

"Okay. But I can't imagine someone like, say, Palpatine having that much dark...matter inside him and just accepting it and living a normal life."

"I never said it was easy," I admitted. He nodded in acceptance of that. "But there's also the big factor you keep circling around."

"What's that?"

I stood, dusting my pants off. "Unlike Palpatine, I didn't _choose_ this."

And with that, I turned to venture out for more brush to get us through the night. As I crawled, I pondered the last look I saw cross Luke's face. It was that same quizzical look, only there was something else to it now.

It almost looked like...awe.


	13. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Both of us were capable of resting and staying vigilant and ready at the same time. (Low-energy Force use could be handy like that.) With Artoo in standby mode, but still alert in his own way, we made it through the night without the need for watch shifts. Fully rested, we munched on nutrition bars while erasing our presence from the little makeshift campsite and headed on.

The foliage started to thin out after a while, letting us know that the end of our covert trail was coming up. The routine flyovers were another clue our destination was close and the pace slowed accordingly.

Leaving Artoo tucked in a thick pocket of plants, Luke and I crawled on our stomachs to the edge of the plain we were on to take in the view. The outer edge of the base was still a fair ways away, but it wasn't hard to pick out the familiar white armor speckled along the outside.

"It is a secret base...," I commented as I took the offered macrobinoculars from Luke. "You suppose they just haven't heard the news their boss is dead?"

"In ten years? Nah. Either it's a faction who are still going with the rumor that the emperor isn't dead. Or they just have a new boss whose resourceful enough to use what's already available."

"Smart." He frowned at my approving tone. "Hey, you have to appreciate efficiency." I threw him a grin as I handed back the macrobinoculars. "So...how are we going to get in? Mind games? Shoot and run?"

"Actually...I was thinking. It's another one of Palpatine's secret bases, right? So... Shouldn't there be another maintenance closet entrance?"

"We can dig through the records and _hope_ it's listed somewhere. But that still involves getting past the guards..." I watched him shuffle back towards where we'd left Artoo, but he stopped to throw _me_ a grin. "Ah. I get it. I do believe the term you are looking for is 'bolt hole'."

I followed him back. Pulling my data pad out my pack, I pulled up schematics as Luke asked Artoo to try and see if he could find any vents or access tunnels nearby.

"There's nothing obvious on the schematics. Apparently, if you needed to know where rooms were, you should already be inside."

Artoo gave an excited tweet. "We've got something. About a klick away, directly south of us."

I overlaid an aerial view of our location on top of the schematics. "Looks like it might be a vent... It's next to a fairly large area. Just labeled 'theater'. Could be an operating room or maybe where Palpy relaxed to watch holovids."

"Funny," he said flatly, looking over my shoulder at the display. "It could be a turbolift. Easy access for medical personnel. Only one way to find out."

We gathered our things and headed in the direction Artoo pointed us towards. The thinner grouping of the plants allowed us to walk, but there was still a need to duck and dodge. I was focusing so much on that and keeping a Force-ful ear out for any patrols, I tripped over the dang entrance cover.

"Stupd... Kriffing... Frelling...," I cursed under my breath as Luke helped me up.

"I'm gonna guess no guards," he observed, attempting to stifle a giggle and failing. He turned away to check out the cover when I glared at him. "Judging by the corrosion on these bolts, I'd say this secret bolt hole is still secret."

"Well there's no guarantee there's no Imps at the bottom of this hole. This isn't a secret compound hidden under a tiny offshoot outpost. This secret base is the _whole_ base."

"So we'll be real quiet like."

"Real..." I just stared at him. "'Real quiet like'? Seriously. Who have you been hanging around? 'Real quiet like'..."

He laughed. "That's the general goal. But just in case – got any blasters?"

"Wasn't on my list of things to pack, sorry." At his incredulous look, I added, "What? I didn't think we'd make it this far."

He shook his head. "Well, all I have is my lightsaber. And that will be pretty obvious."

"Oh!" Suddenly remembering, I grabbed my pack. Digging through, I pulled out the buried treasure. "How about two lightsabers?"

Luke took the hilt, turning it this way and that. "Where did you find this?"

"Where you left it."

"I _left_ it falling down a pit on Cloud City!"

"And that's where I found it – at the bottom. Don't ask for more details... I get nauseous just thinking about it." I paused, miming an upset stomach. Then laughed, "Guess you're not a holo-ads kind of guy."

"Huh...? No... Never have a...reason to...read them," he said distractedly. He was seemingly entranced by the thing; hefting it as if checking the weight and balance, then going back to just looking at it. And then – he was handing back to me. "You keep it."

"What?"

"It obviously called to you. That's the only way you could have found it. So, it's yours now." He took my hand and placed the hilt in it, closing my grip around it.

I didn't know what to say. I felt like it was a big moment. Meaningful. Important. But at the same time...it was a laser sword. What the heck was I supposed to do with it? I mean, sure, I'd been trained in a variety of swordplay techniques. But I never actually imagined actually _using_ one...

"Alright. Well...guess we will be obvious. But, let's try to limit it." Luke getting straight back to business jolted me from my musing. "We can cut through this cover fairly easily. Make our way down and try to 'convince' any one we meet we belong."

"Leaving death and dismemberment as a last resort."

"Preferably," he said with a grin.

"Works for me. What to take bets on whether it's a vent or a turbolight?" Artoo started to whistle, but I cut him off. "Ah! No cheating."

Luke just laughed. "How about we just get going." He activated his lightsaber and swiftly cut the corroded bolts and locking mechanism off the cover. The two of us managed to pry it up and off with a modicum of effort and were greeted with a puff of stale air. I leaned in and shined a torch down what I still fervently thought was a vent.

Good thing Luke didn't take that bet.

"It doesn't look like it's ever been used." He used his own torch to look down with. "Or, at least, not any time recently."

"Think it's be obvious if we called it up and then rode it down?" He gave me a scolding glare. "What? I hate ladders." Just shook his head. "Besides – how do you expect Artoo to get down there? Huh?"

"We'll carry him." A pause. "With...the Force..."

The look he gave me then... "I'm not your mother, Skywalker. You don't have to ask permission. Any way," I added, as I stood and slung on my pack, "it would definitely be faster than a rope. And easier to free him should we, in fact, meet company at the bottom."

He grabbed his own pack and gave me a questioning look. "Not a lazy, wasteful use of the Force?"

"Logic can do wonders like that." I patted him on the shoulder and then moved to climb in the lift shaft. "But you're carrying him."

The trip down was...shockingly uneventful. And I didn't like it. I mean, obviously I didn't want to be overrun by troopers and blasters. But it was starting to make me a bit concerned. Sure – it hadn't been a completely smooth run. But it hadn't been utter disaster after utter disaster, either.

It just made me feel like the worst was building itself up for the big finale.

As I reached the roof of the lift carriage, I reached out to see if I could sense any presence inside or even nearby.

" _I don't sense anyone...,"_ I sent to Luke.

"Are you su-"

" _SHUSH!"_ He actually flinched and threw an angry glare to me. _"Just_ think _it. I'll hear you."_

He nodded and resumed his climb. _"Are you sure?"_

I should have expected it to be loud, given all the overly successful mental connections we had had up to that point. But still... I glared at him as he reached the top of the carriage and softly let Artoo down.

" _I'm sure there's no_ people. _But how good are_ you _at sensing droids?"_ Before he could take a mental breath, I added, _"And there's no need to scream... I'm right here."_

He gave a sheepish grin before pointing to Artoo, visibly concentrating on his thoughts. _"I could have Artoo scan, but..."_

" _...it would get picked up – if he hasn't already."_ I paused, trying to get a better sense of what was around us. _"There's a lot of tech down there... The question is – how much of it has eyes and ears?"_

" _Only one way to find out."_ He knelt down beside the access cover, unclipping his lightsaber and holding it ready.

I could see his plan clearly in my mind. Knew the timing, the actions. Every detail worked out between us in an instant, without a word spoken.

He nodded as I unclipped the other saber from my belt and held it ready. The access hatch went up. Luke dropped and then I did, landing standing back-to-back and sabers angled to block anything that would come from the doors our armed side faced.

It was pretty awesome. Too bad no one was around to see it.

Without extinguishing his saber, Luke crept forward to peer cautiously out the open doors. I stepped behind him to be ready in case I needed to yank him back in, but also looking.

But again – nothing. No droids. No (visible) cameras or observation equipment. The thin layer of dust in the lift carried across the floor into the hall.

"You getting the feeling this is all a bit...easy...?" he whispered.

"A little _too_ easy." There didn't seem any need for mental communication. In fact, I was kind of eager to run screaming up the hall, just to get _some_ sort of reaction.

Instead, I headed back towards the hatch to get Artoo down. Luke went ahead and had the droid run a scan, just to be sure. The results were the same – nothing in the immediate area. No activity until much further in, about the distance of the outer gate of the above-ground section of the base.

We each took a direction – I went right, Luke and Artoo left. Lightsabers deactivated, but still in hand. We stayed connected mentally and I could feel Luke at the back of my mind. A comforting light. A connection that grew easier to make the longer we were together.

There weren't too many rooms along this side, making me think it was the back end of this part of the complex. A quick check of the map proved me wrong, however. There was a missing door. Either that, or a room that was built and then abandoned, a wall placed to block it off.

Turned out it was neither. I walked along the wall, slowly scanning with my hand and the Force, and I felt it. A presence. Not as if someone was actually there. More like an echo. The sense that someone familiar had been there over and over. I followed it as it got stronger, my hand still moving along the wall. And then...

"Well would you look at that. A door." Specifically – a door with a pressure point access.

I got it open and got only a quick glance before a mental jolt had my attention yanked back to the other end of the hall.

"Luke."


	14. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I quietly rushed back down the hall, trying to pinpoint where Luke was, while also determining what was wrong. I finally found him just a few doors down from the lift in a rather large office. Creeping along the wall to the door, I could just barely see him and Artoo back in a corner of the room, back to the door. Nothing else seemed to be there.

I growled under my breath at the thought he wasn't actually in trouble. And as I made my way up behind him, I realized the grumble was called for. So the joy I got when he jumped as I tapped him on the shoulder was a nice return.

"Don't _do_ that!" he said, hand over heart. The shock faded to confusion as he looked from me to the door and back. "How did you make it in here so...sneakily anyway? I didn't even sense you."

"Good training." I grinned, pleasantly surprised and proud at that last comment. Then I slapped his arm. "I _thought_ you were in trouble."

"Oh. No. We found something." His turn to grin as he pointed to the console Artoo was now connected with.

"'Hey. Come here. Found something.' That last one alone would have been less dramatic than a jolt of frenetic emotion." I hit him again, but my glare was only partially malicious.

"I'll remember that next time," he replied with mock pain, rubbing his arm. "Anyway...found an office."

"I see. A rather posh one at that." I finally took a minute to look around. It was sparse, not a great deal of furniture. Color scheme very "Imperial Chic". But it didn't really need much for you to know _whose_ office it was. "Palpy sure had a set theme, didn't he?"

"I got the same impression." And we both knew he wasn't talking about the decor. "Got into some finer detailed maps. Looks like this section is blocked off from the rest of the base." He pointed to the barrier wall at the end of this side of the hallway, directly across from the wall I'd just come from. "Most likely only accessible to Palpatine."

"Matches with the other end," I agreed. At Luke's questioning glance, I added, "Found a small hangar at the other end. Pressure plate access point."

"How did you find it?"

"Same way you found this office, I'd imagine." I wondered over to the large desk. "So...secret base within a secret base. Secret bolt hole turbolift. Secret hanger with super-camouflaged door. All behind a secret access door that probably involves a passcode of some sort known only to a few, if not just one." I plopped down in the large chair, kicking my feet up on the desk. "Three cheers for redundancy."

Luke came over to stand in front of the desk. "You sound like you...admire him."

"Admire is a bit much. Respect...sure. I mean, he was doing all this _and_ running the galaxy. You have to admit – he knew what he was doing."

He just glared, crossing his arms across his chest. "Really?"

"Oh, come on," I said, bringing my feet down to lean across the desk at him. "I don't want to _be_ the guy. He was bad. I know. A good portion of his rules were nuts. That whole xenophobic thing – just ridiculous. But from a purely strategic and objective view – he knew how to pull things off. You have to appreciate that."

Luke shook his head, but whatever retort he had was cut off by Artoo.

"He's gotten into the emperor's files," Luke said as he came up behind the droid and got a look at the screen. "Tons of information on a large variety of projects." He laughed as I came up next to him. "There's actually a few different versions of Death Star plans here."

"Well that's no good. How could he be sure no one else tapped into the same network." I leaned in, checking the data stream. "This isn't even all that secure. Anyone on the other side of this wall could get to that. No wonder you guys managed to blow them up so easily." I stood up straight again and gave a wink to Luke's exasperated look. "See...I can find flaws too. But seriously – he goofed with this one. All these files in one place? It's not like him."

"True. But it looks like these are mostly tech projects. Weapons. Armor. Ships. Some stuff I've seen over the years. Some... I don't know. We'd have to go through all of it to see what worked and what didn't."

"And the reason we're here...?"

Artoo tweedled and a file came up. "Got it. Looks like it was buried pretty deep, but I had Artoo looking for specific factors." He browsed through some files. "Looks like the same data we already have. But..." He pulled up another file. Looked like a list of planets. "We do have some hint of where to go next."

"'Some'. That's an awful lot of planets. I don't even recognize some of these names... Must-a-far?"

"Mustafar. Mining planet. Separatists were in charge during the Clone Wars. Then it was turned over to the Empire." He paused to read a bit. "It's also where Ahsoka and my father recovered those two kidnapped younglings. The facility they found them at was already in self-destruct mode when they got there. They just barely made it out.

"They never knew who was behind the kidnappings or the facility," he said, turning away from the console. "Guess now we know for sure. But it doesn't look like Palpatine rebuilt. He must have just moved to the next."

"Great. There's one off the list."

He gave a short laugh as he turned back. "Yeah. Just a few dozen more. This could take months."

"Getting tired of me already, Skywalker?" I teased. He started to stutter his objections, but I cut him short. "It's a joke. We can dig through it and see if anything...pops out. If not – we go planet to planet. But we're not going anywhere if we can't fix the ship."

"Good point. Let's see what's in this hangar of yours." He told Artoo to download everything he could and started to make his way to the door, but I stopped him.

"Can he erase it as he goes?"

"Sure." He gave the little droid the go-ahead and we made our way out the door and down the hall. "Starting to lose a little faith in your emperor?" He gave me a nudge as we walked.

"Not necessarily." I patently ignored the whole "your emperor" comment. "Given what we've seen, it's fair to assume no one's got the code to get in. Or maybe they don't even know there's an 'in' to get. And, sure, maybe no one thought to trapse through the nettles to see what was out there. But still...it's just..."

"Too easy."

I nodded. "I don't know. It just...bugs me. It's..." I drifted off, unsure how to finish the thought.

"It's like you're being watched." We made it to the other end of the hallway, and stopped to turn to each other. "That feeling on the back of your neck. The impression that eyes are on you. But when you turn around – nothing's there." I just nodded again. "I've felt it. On and off since I first started looking for...well, any information I could find. Not constant...more...fleeting."

"Like it's coming from a distance."

"Yeah. I hadn't noticed it for a while. Until we got here. At first I thought it was Palpatine..."

"But that's more of an echo," I agreed, reaching out to find and then access the door to the hangar. "Just a leftover hint of the man who was here."

"Right. But this other feeling...it's...harder to pinpoint."

"Makes that list a bit more daunting." I gave him a slight smile to try and break up the sudden tension. And, while he returned it, there was still that uncomfortable chill around us.

The hangar didn't have much – a speeder, bare repair necessities. Luke was confident that what he found would be enough to get us off planet and into hyperspace – fast. But first stop would be to find proper replacements. If we were going to have to make more trips to possibly-still-active Imperial bases, he wanted to do it with a ship that wasn't going to throw a fit with only slightly compatible components.

I managed to throw together a handy little disrupter, just to be sure the console in Palpy's office was well and truly inacessible.

"Not that I don't trust Artoo," I said, as I finished hooking it up, "but I just want to be sure." I turned and patted the droid on the dome. "You're good with it, aren't ya Artoo?"

He gave a happy little chirp and I took that as a yes.

* * *

Up and out and back through the stabby-stabby field. I half-expected troopers to be waiting at the top of the bolt-hole tunnel. Or somewhere along our little makeshift trail. Or even standing by at our ship "wreck". But there was none.

The patrol flyovers were still going – proving more routine than heightened security posture. I suggested we might be able to take down the "wreck", since Luke was adamant about doing the ship repairs himself, but he said there was no need. He was getting better at seeing through it.

I wasn't too sure if I liked that or not... But figured I had bigger things to worry about. Leaving him to the repairs, I headed into the ship to dig through all the new info we'd gotten.

"How go the repairs, farmboy?" I mumbled when he found me in the cockpit a few hours later, still digging.

"Finished. Artoo's checking relays now and I want to do a full test. But there's a patrol run soon, so we've got a bit still. How goes the search?"

"Thrill a minute." I turned so he could see the screen and I could see him. "Most of those tech files will take more than just me to get through. But I don't think it'll be anything the New Republic wants to mess with. Lots of bio-engineering stuff. But at a mad scientist level."

"Fun. Well, I'll leave that up to Leia and whoever she trusts to pass it off too. How about our list of possible next stops."

"Yeah... Just got into that..." I hesitated long enough, Luke took the seat beside me with a concerned look on his face.

"What is it?"

"I think I found it. I mean – _it_ it. Not our next step. The _last_ stop."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. It's...it's this...feeling. Like a...compulsion. I see the name – even think it – and I'm compelled to go there." A shaky laugh. "Which makes me want to run far, far away from there."

He reached over to take my tapping hand in his. A simple gesture, but it was enough to instantly ease my worry.

I turned to the console and pulled up the info. "Say hello to Noxia. This is the first time we've met – I've been to a fair amount of out-of-the-way places, but I've never been to this one."

"No one has," he appended.

"So you've heard of it."

"Sure. It's a dead planet. Famous amongst the small number of dead planets in the galaxy for having been dead the longest. No one knows why it's dead, they just know it is and, so, no one goes there."

"Right. Accept, according to this, it's not dead. Seems Palpy's got a shield on it. But not just any shield. It runs like your typical planetary shield – from the ground so no obvious satelites, and blocks stuff from coming in. But unlike those shields, this one blocks _everything_. Weapons, ships, comm signals, scanning signals – nothing gets in without an invitation. Not only that – it's tinted to add to the overall impression of 'dead planet'."

"Impressive."

"Yeah. But you know what that means?"

"The base is most likely still active and so on-point, we won't be able to just fake a crash and do as we please?"

"We fly in, odds are we'll be flying straight into a long-set trap."

He grinned. "My kind of odds."


	15. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Getting away from base number two was just a little less difficult than getting to it. And mostly because the information we had obtained while getting to it.

We had toyed with the idea of using the trick we'd used with the "wreck" to imitate one of the patrol ships. But that was quickly tossed, as there was no quick way to trick whatever sensors both the real patrol ships and the base itself had. So we went with Plan B – fly really, really fast.

Run a quick component test in-between patrol flyovers – check. Take off in-between the next set of patrols – check. It was a fairly equal distance for the passing patrol and whatever security flight the base sent up to reach us if we were to go straight up. So...that's what we did. And quickly – everything still on a quiet (and Force-disguised) standby mode.

By the time the first shots reached us, we were already primed for lightspeed.

We made it to the outskirts of the system Noxia is in in record time, even with a few detours to throw off any would-be followers. Of course, that meant our quick-fix repairs had the shuttle practically howling. Luckily – I knew a guy.

When you hang around smugglers and pirates, they usually stick to the edges of systems. Made it easier to get in and out quickly. This also meant a steady flow of customers for business owners who were smart enough to put up with them.

Dunnie was one such brave soul. Hardly the _only_ repair shop in the region, but definitely the one I trusted the most to mess with any of my tech.

Handing the repairs over to Dunnie's team left Luke and myself to plan. But mainly observe. Actually...really...get bored stiff.

"So Dunnie is... What is Dunnie?" Luke asked while we sat eating lunch one afternoon. We were meant to be listening out for any signs of Imp action. But apparently...

"That only took you a week," I teased, glancing at him over the edge of my cup. "Dunnie is...Dunnie."

"Yeah, but _what_ is he...she...?"

"Like I said – Dunnie is Dunnie. One of a kind. A rare, unique being of vague...ness." I shook my head. "I don't know. It hurts my head if I think about it too long. And don't bother asking Dunnie. Won't tell you. Seems to enjoy the...aura of mystery." The confused furrow was still stuck to his brow, so I added, "Doesn't matter. Dunnie's still the best tech this side of the Core. Dunnie could be a living figment of imagination for all I care – can still fix any hunk you toss in that garage."

Thinking that settled that, I went back to my noodles. When I next looked up, Luke had a curious smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked, looking for a stray noodle down my tunic.

"You know, for someone raised so strictly by the Imperial system...you're pretty...oh...nonchalant about other beings."

The search for the phantom noodle abandoned, I cocked an eyebrow at him. "First of all – I was not raised by the Empire. Just in a secret compound _within_ the Empire. Secondly – I have been to a great many planets since...leaving that 'compound'. Met a lot of many different beings. And you know what I noticed?" A pause. "Everyone's the same."

"No judging on looks alone?"

"Exactly. Folks do it to me all the time. Sweet little thing. And yet..." I gave him a devilish grin. "You get the point. Beings are all the same – we all live, we all die, we're all just aiming to make the in-between interesting. Everyone goes about that in their own way, but it's still the same." I leaned over to steal a cracker from his plate. "Judge someone too early – 10-to1 you'll be wrong."

"And everything is just that straight-forward to you, isn't it?" He grinned, reaching for credits to pay the bill.

"Yup. Must be that impeccable Imperial upbringing." I got up to use the refresher, but paused at the frown he was giving to his hand of credits. "Guessing Jedi don't get paid that well," I mused, digging in my small bag for my own credits.

"Not at all, actually. But a member of the New Republic military does. I'll have to stop somewhere and get more..."

"See...perfect example," I said as I pulled out the jangling pouch. "I never would have guessed you're the type to cheat a fledgling government out of a paycheck by pretending to be part of the military." With a wink, I set the pouch in front of him and walked away.

I met back up with Luke outside the restaurant. He handed the pouch back and I tucked it back in my bag.

"Hey, what are these?" I turned back to him to find a small string of beads dangling from his hand. When I didn't answer, he went on. "I...found them in the pouch. Kind of buried. They're nice..."

He handed them to me, but I made no move to take them. I was too busy trying to pretend I wasn't as stunned as I was, and most likely failing.

It's weird how something like a little string of beads can mean so much.

"Mara...?" He steered me into a quiet alley.

"They're Ahsoka's. Her...um, her padawan braid." I finally took them from him, the inevitable tears beginning to prick my eyes. "I, uh...um, guess her leaving the Order came up."

"Yeah. Her treason trial-turned-great Jedi trial. It had me...thinking."

I gave a small laugh at that. "Dangerous..." He returned the comment with a crooked smirk. "Anyway...she left these with your father, never knowing if she would see them again. Of course, within the year, the Clone Wars ended. Order 66. Vader." I walked to a crate and sat down. "Eventually she revealed to Bail Organa she was still alive. And eager to help with the Rebellion. He's the one that passed these on to her. He never told her who he got them from, but she had a fair idea."

"Obi-Wan," Luke said, taking the stack of boxes beside her.

I nodded. "And now...I have them."

"It's a sign of faith. To show you she knows you can do this. Just like she survived walking away from the Jedi, you can survive this." He reached over to close my hand around the string of beads, his hands covering mine. "No matter what happens."

"I...I never had that. Not – not like this."

"Well, now you do. From both of us." He gave my hand a quick squeeze before letting go. "Easily."

We sat there for a bit, my brain going all blah with an overload of icky nasty feelings and emotions. Finally reaching my limit, I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes, eradicating (thankfully) unshed tears.

"Aren't we supposed to be breaking into a super secret military base hidden on a supposedly dead planet? Or something?" I jumped to my feet, tucking the string of beads into a pocket.

Luke slowly rose beside me with a slight chuckle. "Yeah. Let's go do that."


	16. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It took another week before we found any sign of activity in the system that could be even vaguely related to Noxia. Even then, it just looked like a lost ship who forgot to make a turn. At least, that was Dunnie's opinion.

"You'll get them every once in awhile. Some hotshot not paying attention to in-system notices. Thinks themselves beyond the need of them. Then they end up circling Ole Noxie – can't get in, can't get any signal back." I watched as Dunnie leaned into Luke, lowering to a conspiratory level. "I've seen a fair few just...disappear into the swirling mists... Never... To be seen... Again..."

The Jedi just nodded, wide-eyed, as Dunnie tapped him on the shoulder and walked away. He kept nodding as he turned to me and then dropped a wide-eyed look of general "What?". I just laughed and waved him over to where I was working with Artoo.

"Dunnie...uh...Dunnie's quite the storyteller," he commented as he took the seat next to me.

"And not half-wrong about the ships disappearing..." I passed him one of the data-pads I was working on. It had a zoomed-in view from one of the system's "security" satelites – aka scavenged and/or stolen satelites smugglers used to spy on each other. The ship on the screen did appear to be falling towards the planet, but it was pretty obvious it was a rather controlled fall.

Luke watched as the ship "fell" and then seemingly melted into the atmosphere of the dead planet.

"There still has to be some sort of signal exchange," he insisted as he set the pad down. "Otherwise there would be dozens of ships... _falling_ in. But it looks like a complete equipment shutdown..."

"Right on both counts – for the most part." I grapped the pad back, restarting the recorded section of video feed; but this time with an overlay. "Most of the systems are shut down – practically everything. The ship depends on a generated gravity stream to 'guide' them down to the surface."

"But it's not always activated. It needs a signal to let ground control know 'Knock, knock. It's me.' So..."

I grinned. "So...one of the systems _not_ shut down must obviously be comms." I turned towards Artoo to exchange data-pads. When I turned back, I played the audio Artoo managed to capture from the unknown ship. It was almost like a background hum. But the longer you listened to it, the more you started to hear a pattern emerge.

"The key," Luke exclaimed quietly as he leaned away from the desk.

" _A_ key," I corrected. "I think it would be a fair assessment to say not all ships get the same key. I went back through the 'vids – that guy was transmitting the second he hit the system. But it still took nearly a day and a half for him to get an opening. So either their system is in a state of persistent crap or they've got a pecking order. Palpy sure wouldn't just sit and wait for them to open up."

"Okay...but going with that – we can't necessarily use this key. If they have a system that finely tuned, it would be safe to say they have more than two unique keys. Maybe one per ship or, even, one per person."

"Very true." I turned and gave a nod to Artoo, who activated a file on the console he was connected to. "How about we use the boss' key."

"And where did we get that?" Luke asked as he wheeled over to get a better view of the console. "That's the Noxia file we got from the last base... How did you know there was a key to find?"

"Hmm... Let's call it a...hunch." I didn't meet his gaze, instead focusing on gathering data-pads and organizing the work bench.

"A hunch, huh? Kind of like a feeling? That's up there with...compulsion?" When I didn't say anything. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder and turned me around. "Mara..."

"Yeah, that's it farmboy. Make this harder than it has to be."

He looked like he was going to say something – a platitude of some sort, well wishes, encouraging words. But instead he just nodded and dropped his hand.

"So...how do we become a dead emperor?"

After this discovery, planning moved along rather quickly; which was nice because it kept my mind busy. But at the same time, I couldn't help but think of the irony of it. My distraction was working towards getting to the very thing I was trying to avoid thinking about.

I think the tension was catching, too. Poor Luke turned into a fidgety, stuttering boy, constantly seeming to be at a loss for the right words. But, like I said – it went quick.

Mostly because we didn't really plan an exit. That, like a majority of the plan (minus flying in and landing), was being left up to chance. Situational logic, as far as I was concerned. For Luke – the Force. Obviously.

What did take long was figuring the math that would get us out of the system and then quickly back in the system, but from the other side. Well...that and trying to decide if we wanted to change the appearance of the ship in any way.

In the end, the course got plotted and the ship stayed as-is.

We left just as a rather large caravan was pulling into the system. Convenient cover – even I had to give a point to the Force on that one. Making it out and around took a bit, but piloting-wise was a breeze for the likes of Luke and Artoo. We made it back in-system, on the far side of Noxia, and began our approach.

Our pace was a happy medium between lowly-slowly-cautious and I'm-the-Emperor-open-up, transmitting the "key" the whole way. Unsure of what to expect as we got relatively close to the shield, everything that could be shutdown on the ship was and we preceded to...wait.

The gentle tug of the gravity stream grabbed us just as we drifted within a few meters of the shield.

"Artoo," Luke quietly called out, "do you have any readings on that shield?" The droid gave a short response that could only have been negative, given Luke's reaction. "Well...this is going to be a short trip if an opening doesn't pop up. And soon."

He reached over to activate snoozing systems, but I stopped him.

"It's open."

"How can you tell? We can't get any readings on it either way. If we hit that thing-" I'm pretty sure it was at that point he realized the hand I'd stopped his with was shaking. "Mara... How do you know it's open?"

"It's him..."

"Him...who?"

"Palpatine." I still don't know why I was so scared. I mean, the guy was _dead_. The guy sitting next to me at that moment had actually helped make him dead. And the dead can't hurt you...right...?

Those thoughts circled my head; but I still had room to be amused by the fact that Luke wasn't voicing them any sooner than I was, even though he was thinking the same. Instead he chose to casually ponder, out loud, how successful our landing would be if we were using the Emperor's key when the Emperor was home.

The further past the shield we were pulled, the more I expected to be shot down. Then there was the feeling of speeding up, so I figured they'd just pull us right into the ground – let gravity do the work. Forget that it was artificial gravity in this particular instance. Luke's hand remained hovered over the control panel, ready to re-ignite engines and fly.

Closer. And closer. And then...we landed with a slight drop as the field let go not a moment too soon.

We sat, looking out the viewport – waiting for teems of troopers to come pouring in, but none came.

"Maybe it's automated...?" I asked, not really believing it myself.

"Sure. But what about that other ship?" Luke shot back, standing. "Even if the _base_ is empty, _someone_ flew that ship in here."

"And there's all the ships that 'disappeared'...;" I added as we moved through the ship. "I see what you're getting at. I have to admit – dealing with what could be smugglers or pirates makes me a bit happier than troopers and a ghost."

"Yeah... I don't know. Think I prefer troopers." He gave me a wink. I just rolled my eyes. We grabbed our packs and headed for the door, but Luke stopped to turn back to a trailing Artoo. "Artoo, you stay here. If anything happens... If we're not back in three days time, you know what to do." He paused; kneeling there next to the droid, a hand on the metal dome. Then, with a pat, he joined me at the ramp.

We stood there in silence as the ramp slowly descended. Finally, I turned and asked, "What's he know to do?"

Luke continued watching as the ramp finished its drop and hit the floor of the hangar. He kept staring as, after a moment, he answered. "Send a message to my sister and then blow the ship."

"Blow the ship?" We made our way down the ramp and into the hangar. "What exactly is that going to accomplish? Besides getting rid of a very nice exit when we manage to get out of whatever entanglement led to us missing your gracious three day deadline." I stopped just shy of the edge of the ramp, even as it began to close.

"It'll do more than just destroy the ship," Luke casually responded as he continued walking. Looking over his shoulder, he must have caught a rather incredulous look on my face and stopped, turning back towards me. "There are two baradium missiles along the bottom of that ship. Artoo has the codes to arm and detonate them. And will, should we not return."

"Baradi-." I took an involuntary step away from the ship, quickly followed by three voluntary ones. And then just flat-out stormed the rest of the way over to him. "You have two – TWO! – baradium missiles on the bottom of that ship. Have _known_ they were there. And yet, still voluntarily _crash-landed_ that same ship?! And almost did it a second time?!"

"They're very well made missiles..." A dangerous smirk crept onto his lips.

Dangerous because I was very tempted to slice it off.

"I don't care if they're coated in perma-crete and encased in carbonite! You're insane!" I stalked past him towards the exit, mumbling rebukes of how _I_ was supposed to be the evil one under my breath.

"At least it made you forget about the ghost possibility," he said as he breezed past me.

I stopped. "It _did!_ " Then added, quieter, before following him, "Now I'm thinking he's the only one that's going to make it out of here..."

I met him at the door. Senses stretched out to detect anyone or anything on the other side. A small shake of heads to each other and we went through.

" _Any thoughts as to where to go...?_ " Luke asked mentally, the connection there and strong as if it had never disconnected.

And given that fact, I knew he wouldn't have been surprised when I turned to the left and blindly led on.

Turn after turn, down hallways and through rooms – it was a seemingly endless maze. We traveled through without a sound. Not even a thought crossed between us – just that comforting ever-present light at the back of each others' minds.

What could have been hours, or mere minutes, later came the first hint we weren't alone. It was a faint whispy echo in the Force, as if a small group of people were trying to hide themselves in the Force but were failing miserably.

I stopped to consider a trio of doors before going for the one on the right. Opening it, we found a large window obviously designating the room as an observation post of some sort. Dropping down, we crept in, trying not to reveal ourselves in the window. Finally reaching the wall, we both slowly popped up to peer down into the room below.

It almost looked like your typical bacta treatment center. Just with one central tank. And to the casual observer that is what it would appear to be. To someone who had dug through and read all about the secret Noxia facility, however, it looked like something that would leave a being far worse off than bacta could even dream.

The tremor that ran down my spine was so strong, my whole body jerked. Thankfully, Luke was still wrapped up in taking in the scene below to notice.

"This is not good." There was a sliver of literal doom in his statement.

"Well...they're not smugglers," I quietly replied, thrilled to hear no shake in my voice. "None I've ever seen anyway."

"No. Not smugglers. Knights of Ren."

That momentarily quashed my rising dread. "What the hell is a 'knight of ren'?"

"Empire enthusiasts. Or, rather, _Palpatine_ enthusiasts."

"Oh lovely. That's all we need – Palpy fanatics."

"'Palpy fans' that have, apparently, known about this place for...well, too long."

I was going to reply with my own bit of gloom when I felt the tickle of something on the back of my neck. I was reaching out for a blaster still holstered and barely registered as I turned towards the door. Weapon in my hand and fired before the young man could even think of igniting the saber in his own hand.

Luke caught up a moment later. "Whoa. Where did he come from?" Unsure whether he really wanted an answer, I blankly pointed at the door with the blaster. "Where did you get a blaster?!" My point dropped to the kid on the floor. Then, realizing suddenly what I'd done, I dropped the gun and shrank away from it.

Luke put a hand on my shoulder and started to say something that was sure to be comforting and kind and just what I needed to hear at the moment, but he was interrupted by one of Palpy's groupies.

"Master Skywalker?" A gentle squeeze on my shoulder and we both stood to look down at the group below. All of whom were now staring back up at us.

"Please come down and join us, Master Skywalker." The way he said "master"... You could almost _see_ the sarcasm. "And be sure to bring your friend. I'm sure she knows the way..."

"Do you know?" Luke asked after a moment.

I stayed staring out the window. Staring down at that...thing I had no desire to go near. I wanted to do nothing more than grab Luke's hand and run.

Instead, he took mine. "Mara..." There it was again. That sweet, pure emotion creeping around every letter. Pointed, for whatever reason, at me.

I didn't know what to say. Did I know? No. But...yes. I couldn't tell you how to get there, anymore than I could tell you how we'd gotten to that point in the first place. But I _knew_... The problem was, of course, I didn't want to know. Didn't want to have anything to do with that room.

And I _especially_ didn't want to take Luke to that room.

"Don't quit on me yet, Mara." I'd turned away from him and the window, but he used his grip on my hand to pull me back. "We can finish this. Together."

 _Such sure confidence. Such plucky bravado. How does a kid from a back-end world go through all this man had gone through and still come out so strong and barely tainted?_

With my hand still wrapped in his, I walked toward the door.


	17. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The journey down wasn't long, but felt like an eternity. Which is odd when you think about it. Time usually crawls when you _want_ to do something, or you want to go somewhere. Not the other way around. But maybe it was the fact that I really, _really_ wanted to leave. Time just decided to drag in the middle instead of the end.

The door was opened in mock greeting when we finally reached it. Luke, still full of assuredness, charged right in. I froze at the door.

The door may have been open, but there was a wall of something else in that opening. I'd felt it more and more the closer we got. That sense of compulsion. The pulling turned dragging...

"There's nothing to be afraid of." I focused in and found the lead "knight" standing just ahead of the rest of the goons in the room. He had a twisted, pontifical look on his face. And it was that that tipped me off to the tickle, again, across the back of my neck.

I twisted the hilt of the lightsaber still clipped to my belt up and back, activating it into the knight that stood behind me. Dead instantly, she fell into me; knocking me not only into the room but also the oncoming melee of other knights.

Managing to get out from under the dead woman on my back before I fell to the floor, I ran up to Luke just as the knights reached him. Back-to-back and with plenty audience now, we met the group with sabers blazing.

Now, I've never been a fighter. Not really. Give me a sniper rifle and I'll easily pluck away at it. All that hand-to-hand, swordy stuff always seemed a bit...much. Not to say I didn't train and work hard and excel as much as I could at it. Kind of a requirement where I grew up. But I was beat as often as I wasn't.

So the fact that I was suddenly dispatching enemies as fast as they came felt a bit odd to me. Even weirder was the fact that I could contemplate this _while_ kicking Reny butt. But contemplate I did.

The conclusion I came to made me slightly nauceous.

It was the room. The feel of it was just...ugh. It was like the air was thick with...dark. If ever there was a room that would convince a person there was such a thing as a "dark side" of the Force – this was it. There was none of that simple _other_. It was nothing but dark.

That room was alive with something. And that something was evil.

Coming to _that_ conclusion made me realize that my own dark was responding. As I swung to block an incoming strike, I saw the black filigree pulsing along my arms. It was like that time, oh-so-not very long ago at the beginning of our trip. I was still fully aware of what was going on. Overly aware of my actions. And still very clearly thinking.

The quiet echo of a laugh stopped me in my tracks a second before the boss knight called out for me to stop.

I whipped around to face where I could feel Luke to be and found him held tight by that same boss, a simple vibroknife held to his throat. The look on his face told me he'd heard the laugh too.

The look on Mr. Head Groupie's face, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. There was no sign he, or any of the other surviving members of the group, had heard any eerie echos. He stared at me with a gaze full of astonished joy.

"You really are one of them. A child of Pal–"

"I wouldn't, if I were you," Luke cut him off. "She's not a fan of that...title." He threw me a small smirk and I felt ridiculously grateful for that.

"I don't know why you would be ashamed of it," Head Goon admonished.

"Never said I was ashamed. Ashamed is...the wrong end of the spectrum from what I feel about that...title." I hoped the black glare would properly convey my meaning.

"You should feel privileged. Blessed even."

"Not even close." I very nearly rolled my eyes at the guy. If the situation hadn't been so dangerously screwy, I'd definitely would have. With a laugh to boot.

The knight tightened his grip on Luke, the vibro blade etching a small dot on his throat. "Has this Jedi scum been telling you filthy lies about our great lord?"

"Not my 'great lord'. More...jailer. Unseen warden, if you want."

My banter partner was about to spout what would have surely been another pious statement, but was seemingly cut off by that very lord and master he was raving about.

 _"Enough of this..."_ The oily voice echoed through my head loud enough for my ears to ring. From the looks of it, though, just me and Luke got the message. The knights were just gazing around, reacting solely to the ebb of energy in the room.

"Huh. Some great lord. They can't even hear you."

Yeah. I regretted it the moment it came out my mouth.

I could feel the energy coalescing around me, like you feel just before lightning strikes. And then it did strike – electric shocks throughout my body. I couldn't do anything but drop to the floor, curling around myself.

I vaguely heard Luke calling my name, saw him through a static haze struggling with his captor-of-sorts. But then the voice was back.

" _Insolent child... Fight these sycophantic fools, if you wish... But don't imagine you can fight me..._ "

"Just...a passing...comment...," I breathed quietly as the racking pain subsided. I probably could have saved the energy and _thought_ it, but even the thought of having a mental conversation in my head with... _that_ had my stomach rolling.

" _Good... You've grown even with my guidance..._ "

I fought down the strong urge to respond to that.

" _You are stronger just being here... You haven't truly realized it yet... But just being in my presence has given you more power..._ "

I could feel the touch of him in my mind. Encouraging me to reach out and exercise this new store of power.

" _We are one and the same, you and I...,_ " he continued as I did just as he wanted, but I focused on the actions instead of the words as I stood.

" _The darkness in each of us comes from the same source..._ "

I stretched into the mind of that lead knight, twisting thoughts already tinged with dark to absolute terror. He wrenched away, leaving Luke free to stare back and forth between us.

" _It's why I was never able to see any of you in person... The connection was too great... Unprepared..._ "

Still in the man's mind, I dug for control. The vibro blade came up to his own throat...

" _We are one and the same... There has always been a piece of me in you..._ "

Everything stopped.

"No." It was barely a sound. I wasn't even sure I'd actually said it.

"Mara." The virboknife dropped from the man's grasp harmlessly as a different, gentle hand reached out to me.

"No..." That was a bit louder. Not much...but...

He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as I curled up against his chest. That warm glow that was always there at the back of my mind grew brighter. That connection that was always there now, having grown so strong over the time we were together. It was as strong as the one I had with Palpatine. Maybe...stronger...?

But that meant, of course, he'd heard. Everything. And yet...

" _Skywalker..._ " That one word echoed not just in my head now, but from the walls and throughout the room. Now the knights could hear their master, and they reacted by dropping to the floor all around us.

All I could think was that there was no way this could be happening. There was no way that that machine could do what it was built to do. Because Palpatine was dead. As dead as a nerf fired and fricasseed and served at his favorite Coruscanti restaurant.

But that thought kept getting interrupted by another...

"Luke...?" I pulled back a bit to look up at him and he met my gaze. "You said...you said you saw Obi-Wan and Yoda...after they died."

"Yeah. Just a few times... Why do you ask?"

"How? How were they able to...come back...? Appear...?"

"Oh. It was...something Obi-Wan's master discovered. It was in Ben's journal. A way to...become one with the Force. Wholly and completely. Yoda learned about it when Qui-Gonn came to him. And then he passed it on to Ben. The two of them used their time after the Jedi Order...disbanded. To study it and learn it."

I processed that. "But you said you saw your father, too...?"

"Yes...?"

"So...if it was after they left the academy, buried away in exile far, far away from the Empire... Who taught Anakin?"

I watched the thought run across Luke's face as quickly as the suddenly reinvigorated knights closed in around us.

"Mara..." He paused his visual scan of the situation on the machine in the center of the room before looking back to me. "What does that machine do?"

I didn't get the chance to answer, as much as I really didn't want to. Mr. Head Cracked-Pot was back up and nauseously grinning, vibroknife tucked presumably where no one could hurt him with it.

"It renews life. Returns glory and power to the galaxy."

"That little thing..." I gave Luke a small smile. It had been a quiet remark. Not the same panache as he would usually use; but given the circumstances, it was a great effort.

"We should leave. Now," I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"Why?" The bravado was coming back. "Bring him back. I'd rather fight flesh and blood than hot air."

"We really need to go," I pleaded, even going so far as taking a step towards the door.

"Mara. It's okay. We can finish this." He turned serious and my heart sank. "I refuse to leave him to exist. Refuse to leave even one more being afraid of Sheev Palpatine. Whatever it takes. Not matter what."

"No matter what...? Do you promise that?" I couldn't look at him, knowing what that promise could very well mean.

"Mara...?"

"Swear it, Skywalker." My turn for serious, as I returned to give him a firm stare. "No matter what – you end this."

He took a moment, most likely trying to determine what he had missed. "I...I promise. Of course. Mara-"

Whatever else Luke wanted to say was cut off by the maniacal laugh that vibrated through the room, and every mind in it. It was the first time I saw some of the knights proud facade falter.

In that moment, the decision was clear. I let go of Luke's hand and purposefully strode toward the machine. The action threw everyone off as sufficiently as that laugh had. But Luke caught up just a hair before the rest, reaching out to stop me just before two knights wrestled him away.

Mr. Super-Fan had the audacity to give me a small bow when I turned away from Luke. I ignored the hand he offered and continued on.

I could walk towards personal doom and destruction all on my own, thank you very much.

"Mara!" I stopped again, but didn't turn around. "What are you doing?"

"What needs to be done," I said calmly over my shoulder. "You said it yourself – flesh and blood is easier to fight."

"No... No." He'd figured it out by then – what was going to happen. I heard the lightsaber click alive. Watched as the green reflected off the walls and the metal and glass of the machine. His two guards were gone in moments. But a brush of suggestion to their leader kept more coming forward.

I turned back to him then. Lightsaber still ablaze, he remained tensed to fight. "Luke. Don't." He turned his piercing gaze from the knights to me, and it looked as if clouds blanketed the sky in them. "You promised me. No matter what."

"But I didn't... I don't..." The blade vanished and he was instantly next to me, barely a step apart. "Let me. Let me do it. Not you. I'll do it."

"Oh, Je'daii..." I raised my hand towards his face and saw the renewed dance of dark along my skin. The gesture fell short and I watched as my arm went back to my side. "That's not how this works."

"You can't do it, _Jedi Master_...," mumbled Mr. Fanatic. "It can only be her... She was made for-" The smirking chatter cut off as that trusty vibro blade reappeared to hover between the man's eyes.

"I'm talking. Not you," I sneered without even twitching an acknowledgement.

"Mara. Don't do this. We'll find another way. We'll..."

"We both know we can't do that. It has to be this. We can't walk away and we can't leave _him_. This ends now." I grabbed his hand and gripped it tight. "Please."

Burned in that quiet, desperate plea was another thought, a stronger one – _Stay_.

I took the last few steps fast, fearing both that I would falter or Luke would fight against the hold that thought had.

Mr. Über-Fan twitched to help, but I held that blade as strongly as I held on to that thought. I knew what to do, just like I'd known where to go and how to get in.

Like the guy said, I was made for it. But I sure as hell wasn't gonna make it easy.

A flick of a few switches and in I went, easily sending a pulse to depress the last button. As the energy built in the tube around me, I could feel the dark react. Billowing swirls like a storm. Rolling waves crashing against bone, muscles, skin. I was drowning and rising at the same time – lost in the dark.

And _he_ was there. The dark man. Beckoning to me. Answering a call I couldn't remember sending.

I was disappearing. Being rewritten with a story I didn't want to read.

Suddenly...a light. That warm glow – so familiar for reasons I couldn't remember. Soft and small at first, but getting brighter. A gentle caress of lips on mine.

And then – nothing. But in that nothing...a thought.

 _I could have sworn I shut that door..._


	18. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The next thing I remember is waking with a major headache. As I couldn't really remember the first few seconds of waking up, I had to attribute the headache to me whacking my head on the low ceiling of the pod-like cot I was in as I woke.

As my brain scrambled, through the dull throbbing, to piece together the who/what/where of the current situation, it was kind enough to point out a quiet tweet of noise.

"Hello...?" Some more beeps and tweedles in what sounded like a questioning tone. "Little...um...droid...?" My mind failed miserably at sending the appropriate name to my tongue and made me feel even more lost when the droid wheeled out the room.

I knew the name. Knew I knew it. Had twos in there somewhere... Too-too? To-to? My droid name musings faded as a seeming cluster clumsily trudged through the passageway outside, thumping into things and whacking body parts (judging by the noise).

"Geez... Try a light why don't ya...," I mumbled, instantly regretting it as a light did, then, flick on and I was immediately blinded.

"Hey...sorry...," a quiet voice said as the light dimmed. I peered to see a curtain pulled across the doorway. As my eyes adjusted to the dim, I finally got a look at my new guest.

"Luke!" And another whack to the head. Followed by the sharp pulling of another injury, I was just then noticing, on my side. "Ow... Hi..."

"Take it easy," he mockingly scolded. "Is it still too bright?"

"No...it's okay. I'm getting used to it."

"Lucky you. Took me a few hours just to get this far." He motioned, indicating the room's dim light, as he sat on the edge of the bunk. "Must be that week of unconsciousness you have on me."

"A week?! What? Where are we?"

"On the ship."

"Whose ship?"

"Our...ship..."

"And where's 'our' ship currently located? In the grand scheme of things..."

"Hovering just outside Noxia's atmosphere." He paused. "I didn't want to stay on planet, much less anywhere near it. But whenever I tried to move too far away, you would...well...react..."

"Noxia..." At the mention of that planet, memories flooded back in a jumble. "Palpatine... What happened?"

"I was kind of hoping you could tell me."

I took a moment, trying to arrange my thoughts. "We were in that room... That _machine_.. You were being heroically stubborn. I got in the machine. Hit the button. Dark dark dark. And then..." I paused again. "You kissed me," I accused incredulously.

He laughed. "Well...thought I'd take the opportunity."

"The... Really? Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?"

"Well...I did think I was going to have to stab you with my lightsaber right after. So..."

"Hmm...fair enough." Pause. "I thought I told you to stay put?"

"And I told you to leave the door open."

"Why you sneaky little..." I glared. He smirked. I moved on. "I just don't understand what happened...after. How did we get out?"

"I have a theory."

"A theory?" I queried as he stood. "I assumed you were there..."

"Well, yeah. I carried you back to the ship and we took off. I meant I had a theory about how we survived the machine. I thought that's what you meant..."

"Um, sure. I was going for the all-encompassing 'how'd we get out', so...that works. Please. Theorize."

"Okay. So I believe it was a large build-up of Force energy. Concentrated to the point of explosion by this." At "this", he stood and pulled what looked to be a piece of slightly melted glass. "A kyber crystal. Well...this is just a piece of it. But you get the idea."

He held it out and I took it, a slight tingle running up my arm as I grasped it – gone as quickly as it came. "Where did you get this piece?"

"I...um...kind of...dug it out of your side..."

Ignoring Luke's obvious concerns over what my opinion of his surgical skills would be, I focused on the important factor.

"I got stabbed...by a kyber crystal. That seems...excessive."

"You didn't get stabbed... What is the very last thing you remember before waking up here?"

"Nothing." He gave me an exasperated look. "No. Really. Nothing. Just...blank. Not like a black nothing kind of blank. More like a...light...everything-nothing kind of blank. Like a...um..."

"An overload."

"Yes! Like when you load a droid with too much info and it just kind of goes _bzzzt_."

"And that's exactly what I think happened. An energy overload. The machine was being powered by a kyber crystal – a relatively large one. It provided energy for the machine, but it was still a kyber crystal. Some believe they are living, sentient objects. Maybe. Maybe not. But what everyone agrees on is that they are strong in the Force. They channel it, call to it, respond to it – the whole package. And in that machine was three very strong Force-sensitive beings – one of whom was nothing but Force energy."

"So all that energy was funneled back into the crystal. It overloaded. Then blew up."

"Exactly."

"Exactly... And we just walk- Well, you walked... Right out with nothing but a shard of crystal jammed in my gut."

"Exactly." He seemed thrilled the conversation had gone so nicely. I hated to disappoint him. But...

"Exactly... Luke... I think you may have skipped something..."

He just grinned. "It came down to a focus point – 2-to-1."

"Is this going to be whole light-dark thing?"

"No. But...you can't deny – in this instance, Palpatine was nothing but evil energy."

"Yes, yes. And you were the champion of the light." My turn to grin.

"Uh huh. So Palpatine's sole goal was to survive. Mine – to make sure you survived."

"Sweet. Stupid. Annoyingly selfless. But...sweet."

"Thanks. Anyway... Those two goals were focused on _you_. Palpatine planned to survive through _you_. I wanted _you_ to survive. You were the center of that energy."

"Hence the stabby shard. But-"

"Ah! Not there yet. What did you want? What was your goal?"

"Well...I also would have preferred me surviving. And...I figure it'd be nice if you did too. Definitely okay with Palpy not pulling through. And an exit would be handy..."

"Exactly." He plopped into the seat across the small room, arms crossed across his chest.

"So...the energy was focused on me. The kyber crystal went with that and...the energy it put out went with what I wanted... …?"

"You called to it. It answered. The same as with any lightsaber."

"That's a mighty big lightsaber..."

"You have no idea."

He stood again, coming over to take my hand. I slowly slipped down to my feet, taking a moment to make sure I had my balance. My hand still in his, we walked down the passageway to the cockpit. As I blinked away spots from the different lights, I took in the view before me.

Whatever camouflage had been in the planetary shield around Noxia was gone. But the planet didn't look any more alive.

"I... I didn't..." I couldn't even voice the possibility, bile fluttering up from my stomach at the thought.

"No, no! This is what Noxia looks like. It threw me off too, when I first left orbit and looked back. It dawned on me after a moment, though – I don't think we were paying much attention to the view on the way down."

It was true. I could only remember the shield. And getting past that, it was the base we were focused on.

"This was Palpatine's doing," Luke continued. "He must have spent most of his time since Endor here. That dark energy seeping into the planet."

"What about the base? How big was this super-crystal-charged explosion?"

"The destructive blast only went so far as the hall outside the room. But there was an energy burst that appears to have gone planet-wide." At my questioning look, he added, "I had Artoo tap into the same vid channels we were using before. The energy burst knocked out whatever generators were in place for the shield in a wave. You can see the shield failing, starting from the base and arcing out."

He turned to pull up the vid feed, but I turned him back.

"What about Palpatine?"

"Gone. ...for the most part. I...was waiting for you to wake up, to be sure."

"You thought that was why I was...reacting whenever you tried to leave."

"That's...part of it. I've...had thoughts... Not my own. I can't really pinpoint it. They come and go. But I can tell they're not me. They're...him."

I probed my own mind and found a...clump of something that hadn't been there before. "Like...a mental after-taste. You can't quite grasp what it is, but it's annoying enough that you want it gone." He nodded. "But I don't think that's what's...holding us here. I think it's this." I help up the crystal I'd been holding, pointing out an edge that looked like it had once been pretty sharp, but had it's point broken off.

He was nice enough to look a bit uncomfortable. "There was a lot of energy behind that shard – even to get it to break off like it did! Your pelvis bone managed to stop...most of it. But some did punch through. I got what I could out, but I didn't trust myself to be able to get all of it without breaking the bone."

"And...let me guess – next time you looked, the remaining piece had fused to the bone, patching the hole at the same time."

"Yeah...how did you...?"

I pulled up the tunic I was wearing to lift up the bandage wrapped around my hips and revealed a healed wound, only slightly pink with new skin.

"I felt it, as soon as you handed me this piece," I said, lowering the tunic and motioning with the crystal in my hand. "I think it'll be okay for us to leave now. The crystal is still broken, but it'll be okay. I think it just wanted to be as sure as we did..."

The shock and awe on Luke's face faded to that look of sure contentment. "I'm sure. It's over. Noxia will renew itself, out from the dark, and we will too. The galaxy is finally free of Sheev Palpatine."

The way he said it – with such absolute finality. And that glow that was always there, like a backlight. It was a pretty impressive thing. I couldn't even dream of not believing him.

Palpatine was dead. For good this time. As much of a part as that man had in each of our lives... It was a curious thing, thinking of a life in a galaxy without Old Palpy.

For the first time in my life I was truly and completely able to match that look of contentment on Luke's face. I reached up and gave him a soft, meaningful kiss.

"What was that for?" he asked with a crooked grin.

"Well...the first time, I had a nasty ole emperor in my head. That needed to be erased."

The crooked grin grew into an all out smirk.

"I like how you think."


	19. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

After our adventure through Palpatine's secret mad scientist efforts, it truly felt like the galaxy was open to us. I felt...lighter. Both in the sense of weight being lifted and with some dark faded. It was still there, just as it always had been and always will be. But it wasn't everything. It didn't hold me back. It didn't define what I could or could not do with my life. As often as I had said it to myself before, I'd never felt it so assuredly as I did then.

The mucky residue of our old, dead emperor did prove to be a bigger annoyance than initially thought. Usually popping up to make the smallest disagreements break into shouting matches. However, we knew it for what it was and had managed to work through it each time.

Luke's initial mission of finding anything and everything about the Jedi became the next trail to follow. We went from temple to temple, tracking down whatever snippet of information we could find. He was keen on following through with the mission he felt Yoda had left him – passing on what he had learned. But he felt there was still more to learn.

Every once in a while we would pick a random speck on the map to visit. Having a goal was, of course, all well and good; but we were both people who had spent years dreaming of traveling the stars. Luke – gazing up from the sands of Tatooine. Myself – peering at feeds from whatever satellite I could tap into and turn to point out.

Sure, we'd both seen a lot as it was. But there was always something to it – a new rebel base, a new smuggler's haunt. Someplace to run to. Someplace to hide. There wasn't any of that now. Just the two of us, Artoo, and the ship.

Getting to explore new places, getting to meet new people. Getting to know each other beyond our former assigned roles.

It was nice.

My favorite place we visited was also the most vacant. (Could have played a part in why I loved it so much...) The planet was mostly covered in water, with just a splattering of mountainous islands here and there. I had chosen it on a whim, and it turned out to be a rather fortuitous whim at that.

It had been my turn to pick a random destination. Luke usually went with the more logical route – he'd look at the names of nearby systems and would pick either by those he'd heard others talking about or by whether or not the name seemed interesting. I went with the more creative route – close my eyes and point.

This particular point-and-pick session had been a bit different though. As my finger blindly closed the distance between myself and the navicomputer display, I felt a...humming in my bones. That's the best I can describe it. It started from that ole crystal-encrusted section and radiated outward; all the way to my fingertip, pulling towards a specific spot.

"Ahch-to...," I announced upon opening my eyes. "Never heard of it."

"I have." Luke spun around from where he'd been preparing for our departure to view the nav display. "It's one of the places thought to be the site of the first Jedi temple."

"Well in that case...I'm picking again." I closed my eyes and held out a pointer finger, just to have it clasped and pulled to Luke's chest. I opened my eyes to give him an over-the-top frown.

"I promise not to search out any hidden Jedi artifacts until you give the word."

The promise turned out to be unnecessary. We'd barely set up camp and enjoyed one watery, moonlit night on one of the small islands, when a friend commed for assistance.

Lor San Tekka was a man we'd met along our Jedi-seeking travels. An explorer and member of the Church of the Force (quirkly little order of big Jedi fans), we had been trading tid-bits of information back and forth along our individual routes. He was a good man. A bit eccentric when it came to the whole Jedi thing; but he had grown up in the Old Republic, so I couldn't really hold that against him.

He'd heard of a discovery – possibly Jedi-related, possibly Sith-related – on an out of the way, inner-rim, desert planet. He'd commed to give us a head's up, as he was himself on his way there. But he'd also found out, through an array of contacts, that a group of some of those punky Knights of Ren were on their way as well.

Sadly, or possibly conveniently, no one made it.

We had just landed on the outskirts of the village Tuanul, where we were meant to meet up with San Tekka, when a huge storm blew up. It lasted nearly a standard week; and once it passed, there was no sign of the site left. Neither the Knights nor the local members of the Church of the Force wanted to call attention to themselves or the site, so each party moved on.

I heard Lor San Tekka stayed. He was rather stubborn in those kinds of circumstances.

As for Luke and I... We'd had our own storm.

It was our second night on the desert planet. I felt Luke wake with a start and quietly slip out of the bed. There was a turmoil of emotions around him, as chaotic as the sand outside. And, for whatever reason, I was afraid to ask about what had woken him.

It went like that for two days. I went back to my own bunk, feeling a growing ice in the one we'd been sharing. The tension became palpable. By the fourth day of silence, I cracked.

We'd been sitting at breakfast, quietly pecking at food neither of us were eating. He'd finally stood to dump it.

"Luke..." I cringed at the way he'd shook when I said his name. "Please... I can't- What is it?"

The sigh in his shoulders was subtle, but only just. He turned. "Nothing," he said, attempting casual calm and failing miserably. I just gave him a look that said _Nice try._ He sighed again – this time with defeat. Or, possibly, acceptance of something. "I can't do this any more."

I gave a sharp laugh that lacked all mirth. "Well, you were the one that said we couldn't take off in a sand storm..."

"Not that." He paused – bracing himself or gathering strength. Maybe both. "I can't do _this_ any more." He motioned between the two of us. "Us," he added with finality.

I took a moment to let that settle in my brain. "Okay... That's going to need a bit of explanation." He didn't respond. Wouldn't even meet my gaze. But there was still emotions pouring off of him, reverberating in my own chest – one so strong, my heart skipped. "You're afraid... Of wha-"

"Don't." And just like that, he was gone. Closed off so well, it was like I was looking at a void of space in a Luke shape. "See... It's that. _That_ is the problem."

I didn't bother responding. Just waited and watched as he subtly shuffled from foot to foot. He glared unconvincingly, trying to provoke an argument. But I wasn't falling for it. If he was going where I thought he was going with this, I certainly wasn't going to help him get there.

A barely audible sigh. And then he continued, "This connection between us. It's deep. Deeper than any I've ever experienced before."

"And that's suddenly a problem?" The question was flat. I made sure it was completely emotionless – so much so, it was practically a statement.

"Too deep. Too...intense," he continued, seemingly ignoring the question, but answering it at the same time. This time, a deep sigh. "I can't deny it. Strong and constant. Light flows between us like water in a stream." Now he was getting ramped up – hands gesticulating, feet shuffling more noticeably. "But it could be dangerous. If we get too complacent, too... It could go the other way..." As quickly as the actions had come, they tapered off. "There's too much at risk. Given what we've done. Who I am... Who...what...you are..."

That last minute switch had me glaring. "That's quite an insult, Je'daii."

He actually looked like he was going to apologize. Instead, he just repeated, "There's too much at risk..."

I stood up then, moving to close the gap between us a bit. Not too much though. I was afraid I would follow through with the very strong urge I had to physically slap some sense into the man standing before me.

"So you're telling me everything we've gone through this past year, everything we've done, means nothing. I'm still bound to...to _infect_ you with dark and turn you into the next Vader?" His face was blank, no response. But even that _was_ a response. "You're lying. I don't need to be _connected_ to you, or to read your mind, to know – you're lying." A pause. "Luke...just tell me. What is it?"

He managed to match my earlier glare; but the idea of him lying was already so firmly planted, I didn't see it. "I told you." He turned and headed towards the cockpit, before pausing. Without turning around, he said, "The storm is starting to die down. Should be gone within a day. I'll check in with Lor San Tekka, see what it is he found. After that... I can drop you...someplace..."

And with that, it was over.

He walked into the cockpit, ostensibly cutting himself off with the small enclosing walls. I remained where I stood, staring at the spot he once occupied. Thinking.

The determination flowing out from the cockpit, I'm sure, was equally aimed at convincing me as it was aimed at convincing himself. And at that moment, I wasn't so much convinced as just decided.

If this was what he wanted, fine. But it was going to take more than fleeting determination to convince me.

* * *

I tucked myself in the little corner of my sleeping area for the rest of the day and well into the night, only slipping out for food and the refresher. Luke did the same with the cockpit.

All but buried in a sand storm. Sat in a relatively small shuttle. Literally meters away from each other. And yet...I'd never felt so disconnected from him, in all the time we'd known each other, than I did that day.

As disturbing as it was, it did make it a bit easier to know when he'd finally gone to his bunk and fell asleep.

See, closing yourself off from the Force or hiding yourself in the Force – anything along those lines takes concentration. Most kids can pull it off without thinking about. But it's kind of like if a bug is crawling on your head – as soon as someone points it out to you, it's all you're thinking about. And, eventually, shutting it out is going to take conscious thought.

Granted, the more you do it, the easier it is and the longer you can maintain it. But even if Luke had had a reason to develop that particular skill, I doubt it would have done him any good. Between the (rather obvious) lackluster commitment on his behalf and the connection between the two of us, well... Asleep, the man was almost an open book.

I crept past Artoo, charging just in the nook between the cockpit and the common areas. Luke was curled up around himself, on top of the sheet of his bunk. As I got closer, he suddenly rolled over, arm stretched out as if reaching for me. Without even thinking, I took it.

He pulled me up to the bed, sliding back as if to invite me in. I knew he was still asleep – there's that specific aura that tells you a person is well and truly lost-to-the-world asleep, and it covered him like a blanket. So I crawled in beside him and we laid there for a bit in peaceful silence, facing each other without seeing and with joined hands between us.

I ever so gently reached out, delicately making my way through sleep-provoked thoughts. Part of me knew it wasn't the most polite thing, what I was doing. But a bigger part of me wanted to know why.

Why was the last year suddenly worth nothing?

Why was _I_ suddenly worth such...fear...?

Fear.

Pure, unadulterated fear. So strong I actually flinched.

It was just this dark speck in the far reaches of his mind, but to even acknowledge it seemed to make it grow and spread. I pulled away – mentally and just managed not to physically. Luke gripped my hand harder, an unconscious response to what was stirring in his head.

Assuring myself he was still very much asleep, I matched his grip and tried to relax. Tried to regain breathes I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Tried to focus and understand the whirlwind I'd just encountered.

He was afraid, just as I thought. Of what, however, was the question. Me? I'd definitely felt the idea of me, thoughts of me, in that black speck. But...no... Not _of_ me – _for_ me. He was afraid for me.

And afraid _of_ himself.

Afraid of something he would do.

A soft whimper and tug on my hand shifted my gaze from my thoughts to a furrowed brow. My free hand reached up to stroke the hair about that brow, sending light and calm and peace. Brow smoothed. Frown turned to content smile.

And my path became clear.

I had to leave. But not in the civil manner Luke had suggested. I would have to disappear from his life.

Completely.

I still didn't have all the information, but I had enough. I knew where that spot was in his mind as well as I knew it in my own. It was where that last bit of an old Sith lord used to sit. And now it was home to fear. And if I was the cause of that fear, no matter how, I was what had to go away.

Because I knew what fear could do. Even with just a tiny spit of dark. I'd seen it destroy plenty of the others. It didn't matter what they feared, it always ended the same.

And I wouldn't wish it on any one.

I only hoped what I did would be enough. And that it would work.


	20. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

You can't really erase memories. No matter how deep you bury them or whatever method you use to forget them – they're still there. Ready to pop up at the most inconvenient moment.

You can, however – if you have the skill and the know-how – take them from someone else. There are actual a fair number of species and cultures who do it on a regular basis. Passing along histories and other bits of knowledge. Sharing happy moments to ease someone's pain. Taking away bad ones for the same reason.

That was my goal. I couldn't take away the fear. Whatever it was that was _specifically_ causing it, I couldn't find. And you can't take what you can't see. But I knew it had something to do with the two of us – me and Luke. Take one of those things away... Simple math.

And that's what I did. Every happy smile. Every tear. Every laugh. Every shout. I made a mental box and just went from corner to corner of Luke's mind, throwing them in.

It wasn't easy. The mind knows when it's losing something. It fights to hold on. The more you take, though, the less of a hold it has to maintain.

The heart, on the other hand, is the opposite. The more you take, the more it aches.

I hoped the tears would dry before he woke.

As I finished, I leaned over and gently kissed that no-longer wrinkled brow. "When you wake," I quietly said, "I'll be gone. But there won't be any call for tears." A pause. "All you need, my farmboy, is to go home. Start your school. And – most of all – be happy."

One last look as I carefully took my hand from his, now, loose grip and stood.

As I walked out the room, the last thing I took was that heartache.

* * *

After packing up my little duffel, physically erasing my presence from the ship, I headed to the rear access hatch and was stopped by a soft bweep from behind me.

R2-D2 – the astromech droid who was more than an astromech droid. He sadly (if he could have frowned, he would have) rolled up to me and tweedled a question.

"Sorry, Artoo." I kneeled down to look him eye-to-photoreceptor. "Just how it's got to be. I'm not gonna bother erasing your memory of me. Something tells me you're pretty good with secrets." I winked and gave him a pat before standing. "Keep looking out for him."

I turned again and got a couple of steps before the droid rolled right into me, just enough for a bump. When I turned back, he had an attachment arm out, quietly tweeting for me to take the datacard it held. With a smile, I reached down and took it.

Then I was at the hatch. Open and down. As the hatch closed above me, I could just see Artoo waving that same little arm.

The hatch closed, it's small light gone with Artoo. All there was the storm.

* * *

I followed the storm. It wasn't so much dying as it was passing. Moving along dunes and plains, ever so lightly fading as it did. I moved with it, hiding in the sand that the storm stirred up. Trying to disappear.

I was with the storm. In the storm. But the storm within me kept me separate from the storm without.

They say heartache was the strongest pain a being could feel. It could break you. Nearly destroy you. Could even kill you.

But it could build you up just as much. Give you strength and courage to carry you on. Give you a reason to fight the dark.

That was just one heartache though.

How could I live with two?

Every day was an eternity. Every next step impossible. No matter how much I raged or cried – no sound would come, no tear would fall.

No relief would come.

All I wanted to do was lie down. Just stop and never get up again. Let the sand wash over me, wicking away all feeling.

All the pain.

All the hurt.

All the memories.

So I did.

The storm felt different. It was gearing up for its end. And all I wanted was to end with it.

So I sat. And waited. And that's when I felt it.

This little...tickle of light. At first, I thought it was my old crystal wound. Twinging. But this was lower.

And different. But still...familiar.

It hit me all at once and I jumped to my feet.

After everything... After all I'd taken from him... All I'd taken onto myself...

There was a ray of light. Small. Tiny. But growing.

I had a sad thought – hope that one day, maybe we could... Or even just he and this little light...

But that was later. For now, I was determined to fight. Fight back the fear. The pain. The dark.

Fight for that little ray.

The storm died behind me. The sun rose in front of me.

And I, and that little twinkle, disappeared into the in-between.


	21. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The few years that followed that fateful storm were, by far, the most strenuous of my life. But I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Any world.

Any system of worlds.

I stayed on Jakku. Picked out a little spot far away enough from anything to be mysterious enough, but not so far as to be conspicuous. I had considered heading out, maybe finding Ahsoka. Maybe just finding different out-of-the-way places to hide in. Something more...green. But then I figured Jakku was perfect.

Even if my little memory wipe didn't work, or if it didn't last, the _last_ place Luke and I were together certainly wouldn't be the _first_ place he would look for me. Right? Common sense says I would have left. Immediately.

Still...would have liked to introduce my little light to 'Soka. Maybe one day. Heard a rumor she was dead, but she has a tendency of disappearing like that. So...maybe...one day.

Until then – there's still Rey.

As much as I still hurt and suffered with that double heartache, my little twinkle glowed and blossomed inside me. It was infectious – that light. Part of me figured it was that whole mother-child relationship growing, but another part knew it was different.

It was that crystal shard. The piece still embedded in bone and the piece I carried every day in my pocket. It was part of me and, by proxy, part of that little light. Together, mother and crystal, we were protecting her and keeping the dark away.

That little light would be special. But not like I was special. Not like her father was. Special in her own unique way.

The night she was born was another stormy one. The midwife, a member of the local chapter of the Church of the Force, had thankfully stopped by on her way back in from visiting a friend.

I don't remember ever crying before that day. I'm sure I must have. Maybe when I was younger. I just couldn't recall a moment that had me crying. Really crying. But that day, the tears fell and fell for hours.

At first, it was pain. Every twinge and pull of that little light trying to make her way into the world was directly connected to that ache in my chest. Tears of pain – for what was lost, for what may never again be found...

Then it was fear. The further that twinkle crept, the more I contemplated what it meant. Tears of fear – what if I can't do it, what if the dark comes, what do I say when she asks...

Then...it was joy. With that first triumphant cry of freedom, I felt like all the dark of the world had run for cover. Tears of joy – my little ray of light was here, in my arms, my whole world refocused to that one little life.

The midwife was certain the young girl would be strong with the Force. Not being Force-sensitive, herself, she was judging off the basics – size, color, that strong cry. I felt sorry for her in that moment. Sorry for all those beings who weren't Force-sensitive, because they would never be able to see what I saw when that child was placed in my arms for the first time.

She wasn't just strong with the Force. She all but glowed with it.

"Ray" was apparently the only sound beyond weeping the midwife could make out, and the Force obviously meant for that to be her name. So "Rey" it was (spelling down to a simple mistranslation). I could have argued, but it struck me then that I hadn't actually ever considered any names... Score one for the Force, I guess.

As terrified as I had been at the prospect of being a mother – and, let's be honest, don't really have the _best_ of examples – it turned out to be fairly easy. Before she could even walk, Rey had developed a fairly distinct sense of independence. And then there's the unquenchable thirst for knowledge. She would happily accept assistance in acquiring a new skill and then happily run off with it.

For the most part we made a great little team. I pieced together a carrier, and she'd ride on my back while I was out scavenging or cleaning and repairing bits and bobs or heading to the market. Once she could walk, she would ride to the destination of the moment, and then insist on being let down to dig for her own "treasures" or use her own tools on projects or pick out her own fruit.

Everyone who met her instantly adored her. (I was thrilled to see she got that particular trait from me.) Even grumpy Unkar was affected, but far be it for him to show it. And, of course, I wouldn't even think of using those particular charms to get more that we had. Between scavenging and repair and maintenance work, I managed to scrap together a fair existance.

It wasn't all comets and moonbeams of course. Precociousness can turn sour. Patience can fade. But I made sure to teach my Rey how to work through things and not let them simmer deep and boil over. And I assured her time and again – my sole mission in life was to raise her well, keep her safe, and make sure she was happy.

The last thing was the hardest. As she got older, saying "no" got no easier but more necessary. She learned quickly, of course, what things I would love to say no to but had no good reason to give for saying no.

Her favorite – the bedtime story about the farmboy who grew up to be a great knight.

I'd run out of new stories one night when Rey was about 3. She'd heard everything I'd told her a million times before and wanted something new. I knew I was going to regret it the moment it came to mind. But it had been a long day and all I wanted to do was sleep. Which meant a certain little lady had to sleep. So, before I knew it, the words were tumbling out. And a new nighttime ritual began.

First there were X-Wings and TIE fighters crafted from bits of scrap. They were strung up above her hammock, held in a snapshot of battle by string. Then there was the required hero pilot himself. That was, oddly, the hardest – not just any orange scrap would do. It had to be the "right" orange. It took a great deal of trading and dealing, but I managed to snag a few scraps from a jumpsuit dug up from one of the innumerable wrecks in the area. The guy I got it from was more than happy to throw in the helmet too...for an extra dozen credits.

I think that might have been her favorite birthday present to date.

Every night, Rey would curl up in her hammock with her little pilot, gazing up at the ships twisting in the light breeze that crept through the worn metal of our little beastie-home. I would sit beside her, rocking the hammock and weaving a tale, fully aware of the irony of turning a father she may never meet into a mythical legend.

Every night the same. Sit. Rock. Spin a story. For a couple of years it went. And then, one night, as I sat down to begin this little evening routine, it changed.

Instead of climbing up into her swinging cot, she reached up to pull her doll down and climbed into my lap.

"It's time for bed, my light," I said, hinting that she may not be in the right spot with my tone.

"I know..." came the quiet reply. I could see the wheels turning and feel the bubble of...something hovering around her. So I simply waited. And before too long... "Sing me the song, mama."

"Sing you the song? No story tonight?" A small shake of her head, hair slipping out of day-old buns. "I haven't sung you to sleep since you were wee wee tiny." It was a lame attempt, using the "I'm a big girl" ploy to get her to either talk or resume the normal routine. And, of course, it didn't work.

"Sing, please." She snuggled in closer, clutching her little Rebel pilot close to her chest.

"Well... You did say please..."

 _The day is done,_

 _and the night is calling._

 _Rebel hearts burn on._

 _My heart will raise the sun,_

 _with hope for your return._

The song was an old one, sung during the war, Ahsoka had shared with me. One of those old sad ballads they called a lullabye; full of hope and light, even in the dark.

 _Now the day is gone,_

 _and the night is falling._

 _The time has come -_

 _My heart fades with the sun,_

 _for those who'll ne'er return._

Rey added her sleepy voice to mine as I sung, even as she drifted to sleep. There was this...sadness that seemed to be creeping in on the breeze. But I couldn't tell what the cause was.

 _But the day will dawn._

 _And the night will call._

 _Rebel hearts still yearn._

 _My heart will soldier on,_

 _in memory of those far gone._

Soon enough, that little light was a limp weight in my arms. Instead of lifting her to her swinging cot, though, I carried her to my own sleeping mat. I laid her down and then laid beside her, curling her back into my arms as she cuddled in beside me.

As I laid there, breathing in the sweet scent of her little sun-kissed self, I felt that sadness begin to swirl with dread.

Something was coming.

* * *

If you would like to hear the Rebel Lullabye Mara sings... /suzanne-dangler/rebel-hearts-a-star-wars


	22. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Something" turned out to be "someone". And he showed up right after breakfast the next morning.

He'd been making his way across the plains all morning, thoughts blaring ahead of him the whole way. It had woken me just before dawn – angry, fearful thoughts of an old danger become new.

 _Well that's just great... So he doesn't remember me, but he remembers_ that.

I wanted to believe it wasn't him. That I was mistaken. It was some other wayward Jedi wandering the desert. Or maybe one of those Knights of Ren. Or even, maybe, I was hallucinating. I wasn't hearing or sensing anything. It was just too much sun.

The arc of pain in my chest that hit me as I tidied up after breakfast had all those thoughts wiped away. Luke had found me.

And he was just a dune away.

"Mama! Mama! Le'van is coming! With someone new!" Rey came scurring down from the front end of our walker-home. She stopped short, having found me crouched down in front of our little storage cupboard, pain obviously visible on my face. "Mama!" Her excitement turned to panic as she rushed over to me.

"It's okay. I'm okay. Just...whacked my knee." I rubbed said afflicted joint, giving her a half-smile. The look on her face said she wasn't falling for it.

"It's a bad man..." It wasn't a sure statement, but it definitely wasn't a question. It amazed me, even after 6 years, how perceptive that little light could be.

"I don't know." And that was the truth. They may just be taking a rather long route to the outpost – Luke's presence purely coincidental. Or he could be on a mission to continue the destruction of all things "Palpatine". I didn't know for sure, so I wasn't going to claim I did – even if she was only 6.

I didn't hide anything from my child. Maybe I would leave things out, but I never flat-out lied or avoid giving any information at all. Besides, most of the time, she just never asked.

Sure, she knew about her father...in the guise of a mythical hero. But she'd never asked about her father, so it didn't come up.

And she knew about the Force...as a part of the Jedi stories I told her. But, while I knew she was Force-sensitive and she knew she was different than other children she'd met, it never came up.

Rey accepted things for what they were. Of course, she would question things. But it was more along the lines of _how_ than _why_. And, honestly, until she was a good bit older, I was perfectly happy with that.

It did not, however, keep me from teaching her two simple, yet vital, skills that were easily bolstered by unconscious Force melding.

One – always pay attention to the tickle on the back of your neck. If you get one, take a look around – a _good_ look. Pick out the danger before it picks out you.

Two – when you're hiding, try to make yourself as small as possible. Picture yourself like a pile of sand, shrinking smaller and smaller until barely a speck is left.

This latter trick was a bit hard for my bright little light. But she was going to get the chance to practice it that day.

"I want you to go hide. Just like I taught you. Just until...I help Le'van and his...friend. Okay?"

"But I want to say hi to Le'van too!"

"Rey..." I poked her belly. "You can't hide...can you?"

She gave a little pout, but then decided to take the challenge over the social call. "Like a grain of sand," she said proudly.

"Smaller," I prompted. " _I_ don't even want to find you."

That got her. "You have to close your eyes!"

I laughed, despite the possible impending doom, as I did as she asked and felt her scurry away towards her favorite hiding spot. Before she made it a dozen steps, though, she was rushing back to give me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then she was gone, a shrinking speck of light.

My eyes shot open just in time to see a little booted foot pull up into her little hiding cubby, a combination of shock and immense pride broiling for an exclamation. But that dang doom was coming around the corner.

 _Good job my little light..._

I made my way outside just as Le'van was coming around in front. Luke – for it was indeed that pesky Skywalker – was taking in the sight of the half-buried walker-turned-abode.

"You're a long ways from home, today, Le'van. Headed to the outpost?" I called companionably, doing my best to ignore the conspicuous Jedi coming up to join us.

"Ah, no Miss Kira. Here to see you actually." He motioned to Luke. "Master San Tekka said you might be able to help Master Lars, here. He's looking for someone."

 _Figures..._ Most of the time, I forgot Lor San Tekka had seemingly decided to retire in that little village. I hadn't stopped by after my...departure from Luke for what, I hope, would be obvious reasons. Whether Luke did, I'd never known. I'd made my choice, took on a new name, and did my best to blend into the sand and ruin that was Jakku's landscape.

Now, if San Tekka ever suspected who I was, he never let on. I never saw him – other members of their little community passed on messages and information and Le'van was his errand boy, of sorts, for everything else.

But given who was now standing in front of me...

"Well...I can certainly try to help." I smiled at Le'van before, finally, turning to Luke. "Who is it you're looking for Mr... Lars is it?"

"Please. Call me Owen." He stuck out a hand and I reluctantly shook it quickly, expecting that simple touch to finish undoing all that previous memory eroding effort.

It, shockingly, didn't. But...something happened.

He stared at his hand for a moment before continuing, sounding as if he was caught up in a thought. "It... It's not a 'who' per se. More a 'what'..." The contemplative look turned to an apologetic one. "Well...not exactly a 'what'... Um..." He laughed. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so...vague..."

I smiled, managing to ignore the (albeit, unknowingly insulting) insult. "Why don't you start from the beginning. How did Master San Tekka think I could help you, specifically?"

"I'm looking for someone with information from older Imperial periods, even Old Republic. I...um...I'm thinking Lor may not have meant _you_ specifically. Perhaps a...parent, or other family member..."

I grinned and started to reply, when Le'van beat me to it. "No, no. He meant Miss Kira. She's older than she looks..." This last bit was loudly whispered to Luke directly.

"Thank you Le'van," I said loudly, attempting to cut off whatever deluge of information that may have followed. I knew most of what most folks knew about me. Mostly because I had told it. But the returning twinge in my chest told me that whatever extra hints Luke got would be too much.

He needed to leave. Now. Or I was liable to break.

"I'm sorry," I continued, "I don't know how I could help you. And there's no one else here... Maybe at the outpost. There are a handful of folks there that remember that time..."

"Well... Master San Tekka seemed pretty sure..."

"Maybe you misheard him," I suggested. I was burying myself as much as I told Rey to, but risked leaking a bit of strength into the suggestion. "Maybe he meant Meera. She lived on Coruscant for a few years before joining up with that rebel cell. Or Kerko – he's been all over for ages..."

"Maybe...," Le'van said distractedly. Staring off in the direction of the distant, unseen outpost.

"How far away is the outpost?" The tone of the question – flat and a bit too aloof – had me turning to Luke. I found him all but glaring daggers at me.

 _Uh oh.._. Guess I hadn't been as subtle as I thought. "It's...uh, a fair hour's walk from here. Not terribly far, though."

I could feel it gathering, but didn't realize what "it" was until Le'van spoke.

"I really should be heading back... I'd hate to miss dinner..." He turned to senselessly meander back in the direction he'd just come. And it was then that I realized that...thing I'd felt was coming from Luke.

 _That little cheat..._ He was _sending_ Le'van away. I'm sure for ostensibly good reasons. But still...

The two of us stood there, watching as the young man disappeared over the dunes. We each reached out to check his progress through the Force, and I inadvertently flinched back as Luke's focus turned to me.

That old pain – equal parts shrinking away and reaching out – had me eager to run.

Instead, I turned and faced him. "That was a bit much for a Jedi..."

He didn't respond. Not with words anyway. Instead, just started reaching for what was most likely his lightsaber buried under his cloak.

Apparently my sly statement confirmed his suspicions.

Before he could fully raise the saber or I could, somehow, convince him to do anything but that, we both turned towards the suddenly blossoming light making its way through the fallen walker behind me.

 _Rey!_ I tried to get her to stop, but she was already full charge rushing out. So, instead, I backed away from Luke, putting myself between her and whatever response he may have.

"Ma-" she started, but I cut her off.

"I thought I told you to stay inside," I quietly, but sternly, scolded. She came up behind me, stopping me in my tracks as she wrapped her arms around one of my legs. I looked down to find her peering up cautiously at Luke.

"I was scared..." She didn't finish that statement, but I knew what she meant all the same.

She had been scared for me. Scared of what this stranger, brimming with anger and hate, would do.

 _That's love, isn't it. People being scared for you instead of you. Weird... And oh-so ironic..._

"It is you...isn't it..." It was a statement, but with that undertone of questioning that begged for the right response.

I cringed. _What was the right answer?!_ As much as I wanted to just end it there, to give him back the memories and that tedious heartache...something stopped me. That fear. That black speck was still there. Barely a flicker. Hardly acknowledged. But there all the same.

"I don't..." I hesitated just enough for him to jump back in.

"A child of Palpatine." He actually flinched as he said it. An automatic response to an unconscious thought as to what my reaction would certainly be.

But that reaction didn't come. Between the sadness in that man's eyes, a sadness he most likely didn't know why he felt, and the bright, burning light wrapped around my leg... The dark couldn't make it through. I wanted nothing more than to keep the two people standing there with me from feeling what I felt. That pain was mine and mine alone. I'd taken it and I would keep it. And that meant the dark had no out.

"I was," I finally said. "But not any more. Not ever again."


	23. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

He had that same familiar look on his face. That's what told me he didn't really know who I was. Once upon a time he'd figured out the puzzle of me. But the solution was gone now.

I was just as lost. I didn't want to stay like this – with him unknowing and me knowing too much. And this was the perfect opportunity to fix it, right? But there was still that pesky speck...

Better to leave it. At least we would have this day. As crazy and surreal and not all that I expected as it was.

The lightsaber eventually disappeared back beneath folds of fabric. Apparently my truthful statement/confession, mixed with my way-too-glowing-with-light-to-be-dark child, was enough to convince him I wasn't, at least, going to decapitate him right there and then.

I suggested a conversation was in order, and Owen (he flat-out refused to offer anything but that) agreed. I told him all I knew about the program Palpatine had been running. Well...almost everything. Rey refused to leave my side, so some of the...nastier details were left out. As was that last bit – I simply went with the fact that the last facility on Noxia was destroyed.

I honestly figured going through even a flat, reporting version of events would trigger some sort of memory recall in Luke, but it didn't. He took in all the details as if it were the first time. So I, somewhat reluctantly, left out anything that would make it personal. To us anyway.

When it came to discussing how I managed to...develop past all that had been done to me, it got a bit trickier. Luke insisted it had to be Rey. But with me not talking about the incident with the machine and kyber crystal stabbing, and attempting to not reveal Rey's father (to both Rey _and_ her father – both in the room at the time). Well...like I said – tricky.

It eventually dwindled down to my general theory of the Force. The whole no-light-and-dark-just-the-Force approach. Frustratingly, he seemed even more unlikely to accept it than the first time I'd told him. Even Rey was getting annoyed with his arguments, eventually putting herself to bed.

And then it dawned on me, as I sat listening to her sing herself to sleep. It hadn't been all the talking we'd done that had originally gotten that other Luke to see that side of things. It had been the conversations themselves. By the light of a campfire or the glow of a cockpit control panel – it had been the journey we had taken. He had seen examples of what I'd been talking about for himself. Witnessed the changes that could occur in a person as they happened.

If that Luke had been sitting in front of me...

The longer we talked, the more thoughts like that cropped up. The more that old pain throbbed in my chest. The more of his brow would furrow as part of that pain reached out to rejoin with its original host so it could heal.

Or flourish.

 _There's too much at risk..._ As I glanced over again at my little light, now dimmed with sleep, I suddenly couldn't help but agree.

"A child of Palpatine cannot be suffered to live..."

The quiet comment jolted me from my thoughts and I turned back to glare at Luke. "Excuse me?"

"There's too much at risk..." He wouldn't meet my gaze, glancing sheepishly (guiltily?) anywhere but at me or the sleeping child mere meters from where he sat.

For me, that statement was way too close to my own thoughts. I considered the possibility that this was all a show – he really did know who I was and was provoking me to get me to... What? Confess? Turn into the dark, evil thing he thought me to be? Wanted me to be, thereby giving him a valid excuse to do away with me?

But, no. I knew him. I knew that wrinkled brow, full of confusion and steadily deepening.

"I don't know what to do," he quietly said, finally meeting my gaze. "I was set. Determined. Destroy all the last remaining bits of Palpatine. It was so...firm in my mind..." Head dropped to cradling hands. "I don't know what to do..."

It was part frustrated exclamation, part desperate plea. And it echoed like a funeral dirge in my soul.

How do you help someone who couldn't remember begging to be lost?

I couldn't tell him. Couldn't give him back his memories. I was fairly certain that would probably make things worse. So...I went with a different tactic.

"Come with me." I stood and gently took a hand, tugging him to his feet. We quietly snuck past Rey and I silently asked her forgiveness for sharing her favorite hideaway.

I climbed up first, reaching down to beckon him to follow. As he made his way into the cockpit, I crawled across to lower the shielding hooked against the empty viewport opening. Laying the shielding across the control panel and tossing some spare blankets on top, I laid down with my head just inside the large opening. After a moment, Luke joined me and we both laid there, staring up at the stars.

"I use to come up here with Rey. Almost every night, when she was a baby." I focused on the peaceful memories, letting calm and light flow out. "She still comes up here to play. Or hide. It's her little spot."

"I hope she doesn't mind us borrowing it..." I didn't have to see him to know he was already relaxing, that brow unfurrowing. The ripples that surrounded him smoothing, easing.

"I think it'll be alright..."

* * *

We laid there long enough for the moon to pass and the sun to rise. Sleep never came, but the rest was enough. Probably could have stayed there all day, but...soon enough, a little tri-bunned head popped up through the hole in the former-wall-now-floor.

I propped myself up to peer over at Rey and found a slightly confused, more perturbed little frown staring back at me.

"There's something beeping on the table. I think it's a comm," she all but grumbled.

Luke sat up, just barely managing not to hit anything in the slightly confined space. Rey scurried away with a little yelp as he somewhat frantically made his way to the hole and down.

I followed, a bit more slowly, and reached the table just in time to see him heading out the door.

Shrugging, I turned to Rey. "Breakfast?" A nod and I got to pulling stuff together. But before I got far, Rey was suddenly clamoring for me to hold her, tears silently pouring down her face.

"Mama..."

"Oh, my little light. What's wrong? Did you bump something? I told you..." But the taunt faded as I finally registered what the little girl must have already felt.

Despair. Anguish. Utter sadness. All leaking through the open door.

Rey has always been more empathetic, emotionally, than I could ever be. A trait I was positive she picked up from her father. And as it was her father now exuding these emotions...

I rushed out, Rey still clinging to me in my arms. At first, I couldn't see him anywhere. But then realized he had already made it ever one dune and was just then cresting another.

Without thinking, I ran over to our beat-up speeder and jumped on, racing towards him with Rey wrapped around me.

"Lu- Owen! Wait!" He didn't slow. Didn't even turn around at the noise of the approaching vehicle. I ended up driving ahead of him, cutting off his path. Even that barely slowed him, but I jumped down off the speeder and caught him as he was turning to bypass it and us. "Stop. What happened? What's wrong?"

"The school... My students..." He was mumbling, trying to press past me.

"Where are you going?" I asked again, grabbing his shoulders to get him to focus. Rey slipped down between us to stand by my leg.

"I have to get to my shuttle... I have to go to them..."

"Where is your shuttle? Tuanul? It'll take you a day to get there walking." I hesitated, glancing from his blank gaze to Rey's tear-streaked face and back.

Something was happening. This was a moment – one of those big, life twisting moments. But everything was so crazy and frenetic. I couldn't figure out _what_ was happening. What was _going_ to happen...

"I...I'll take you. Just – wait." I squeezed his shoulders tight. Waiting to be sure he would wait. When he finally turned to me and gave me a small nod, I dropped down to Rey.

"Okay, my little light. I have to go with...Mr. Lars for a little bit." A few tears sprung anew in her eyes and I wiped one away. "I'll send Le'van or Miss Syrna to come watch over you, okay. But until they get here, I want you to run back and hide in your little cubbyhole. Can you do that? Can you be a big girl and do that for mama?"

She gave a small teary nod and then glanced up at Luke. "He's sad." I nodded. "Are you gonna make him not sad any more?"

"I'm gonna try..." I was struggling to hold back my own tears. "I'm gonna hurry back as fast as I can. I promise. So you stay right here and don't leave."

"How long?"

"Before you can count...10 days."

"I can't count to ten!"

"Then...you'll have to learn. You can make little dashes on a piece of paper, or a scrap of metal. And Miss Syrna will help you count them."

She gave another sad little nod and then wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you mama."

"I love you my little light. I swear to you – I will come back." She let go to look me in the eyes, and the promise was sealed between us. I kissed her forehead and then turned her back towards where we'd come and gave her a pat. "Go on. Run."

I turned back to Luke once her little buns disappeared over the first hill of sand. I knew she would be okay. She'd ran these dunes dozens of times. There was nothing out that could hurt her. And she wouldn't be alone for long...

As I got back up on the speeder, Luke behind me, half of me followed her progress back to our little nook in the sand even as the other half helped me guide the speeder away. And I couldn't rid myself of the subtle bit of regret that was creeping in...

* * *

We made it to Tuanul in what must have been record time. Luke was off the speeder and marching toward his shuttle before I even got the dang thing stopped. Thankfully, Le'van was just then walking past.

"Le'van!" I called as I raced after the frantic Jedi. "Can you or Syrna go look after Rey for me? She's in the walker, and she's expecting you. Or her. Take my speeder."

"Well, sure Miss Kira. No worries." He watched me as I reached the ramp just as the engines fired. "You able to help Master Lars, then?"

"I certainly hope so..." I don't think he heard me.

As I walked to the cockpit, ignoring the cozy familiarity of the shuttle, all I could picture was the concerned look on Le'van's face. The tears on Rey's.

And as we took off, that creeping regret overtook me. That feeling of impeding doom came back and enveloped me. The dread I had felt when I first met Luke, all those years ago, renewed itself and consumed me.

I had just made the greatest mistake of my life.


	24. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

As we came up on the planet Luke had set his praxeum up on, I could feel it. Like stars burning out.

One by one.

But there was something else... That feeling, like eyes on me. On us. On the whole scenario. Those same eyes that had followed us throughout that long-ago journey.

It had me focused. Burying away that regret and doom and dread, no matter how loudly it screamed from the back of my mind.

 _Run away! Run away!_

I couldn't keep out Luke's feelings, though. His thoughts. The misery was permeating the air around him. Around us.

He'd left. He'd gone and chaos had taken his place.

We landed in ruin and rain. Shuttles of various sizes, speeders, even an old X-Wing – all burning wrecks. I could just make out the hint of shining reflection from over a hill. Must have been the intruders' vehicles.

I turned to tell Luke and was hit with another wave of despair, enough to knock me back a step. And it was then that I saw them.

Children. Adults. No one had been spared.

There was a darkness suddenly growing beside me. That darkness that only utter sadness can bring.

"Luke..."

Whether he'd heard me or not, I never knew. As he turned to me with that thoroughly lost gaze, only a hint of question present, an explosion had us both turning. He was off like a rocket a moment later, and I was right on his heels.

There was a group of six, going through the small buildings. Searching for survivors, rummaging for...well, whatever they'd been sent to find, I suppose. It was obvious they were looking for something specific, but we didn't get around to asking...

Luke charged in, lightsaber blaring through the night. Outshining even the fires burning through the wet. The first knight (for they were, indeed, Knights of Ren) never saw him coming.

The rest did.

These weren't the same breed as those we'd run into on Noxia. These were...different. Fighters. Skilled. Determined.

I hesitated to join the fight... There was a seventh one. Drifting further into the shadows. Unwilling to join the fray, but desperate to watch. This wasn't the source of that eerie overseeing presence, but it was with him just as strongly as it was on Luke and myself. Possibly more...

Before I could even ponder that thought, my attention was drawn back to the fight in progress by a scream. One of the knights was curled on the ground, encased in bolts of Force lightning.

"Luke!" I called as I raced over to him, caught between the urge to tease him about using such a "dark" tactic and scolding him for using it so...badly.

He paused long enough to watch as the remaining synthskin covering his metallic hand faded with the last sparks of lightning. He looked like he was about to say something, but was interrupted by another knight. So, instead, he reached out for his lost saber and resumed the fight. As I was now being pursued by both the recovering, slightly staticy knight and a buddy, I joined him.

Like I said, these were experienced fighters. But, while I wasn't "experienced", so to speak, I was better trained. And Luke...well...

I remember reading Sidious' recounting of a young Anakin's confession. He'd returned home, to Tatooine, only to discover his mother had been abducted by Tuskan Raiders. When he'd found her, she was near death. One sweet moment, and then she was gone. And Anakin...

I'd always wondered what that looked like – a man who felt like everything was lost. Someone who had, even if just for a moment, given up all hope. Just took the dark and fell into it, searching for a relief the light couldn't give.

I didn't have to imagine it any more.

In the time it took me to dispatch my one-and-a-half opponents, Luke had polished off the last three.

And then he turned on me.

I just barely managed to meet his blade with mine as I turned.

"What are you doing?!"

He glared, very nearly baring teeth at me with a snarl. "You called me Luke."

 _Well...that answered that..._ "It's your name, isn't it?"

"One I didn't tell you." Lightsaber inched closer to my nose. "How do you know it? Know me?" I must have hesitated a bit too long, because he added, "Are you with _them_?"

"No!" And I added emphasis to the word by pushing him away, forcing his saber along with him.

"Why are you here?!"

"To help you!" I matched his growl, then gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh Luke..." I switched off the saber in my hand. "This is it, isn't it? This is what you saw? Or, maybe...part of it..."

I watched as thoughts ran through his head – a head so stuffed with pain. He seemed caught between a desire to back down and an urge to strike.

"Go ahead," I said, replacing the lightsaber in my belt. "Hit me. Strike me, if you have to." I stood, waiting and watching. I knew he wouldn't. Couldn't.

But I couldn't help the little part of me that worried...that considered this might not be the Luke I knew.

 _Well...I already took a risk coming here in the first place... Might as well go all in._

I took a hesitant step toward him, continuing when he remained frozen. As I got closer, I opened up, reaching out to renew that connection we had.

The anger drifted away. The saber lowered. Green blade eventual disappeared.

I reached out, physically, a hand on either side of his face.

"Don't disappear, Je'daii. If you do...he wins..." As I leaned in to kiss him, it dawned on my that I wasn't sure what "he" I was referring to...

But as the kiss connected, all thought was gone. There was nothing but light.

I could feel Luke relax beside me. Tension slowly releasing. "Mara..." he breathed as we separated only mouths. Tears tickled my lashes and I wondered if this is how he had felt, that day, in that room...

I heard his saber drop and then felt hands vice around my arms, the right one near breaking from the pressure of his mechanical hand. We were still a step apart, but suddenly, I couldn't breath.

Then the regret came back. The doom and despair. It screamed in my head so forcefully, I thought I would crack from the pressure.

 _Run away! Run away!_

I had offered. Held out light like a lifeline.

He had accepted. Grabbing hold with all the force of a tractor beam. Pulling. And pulling.

I felt it coming. Felt it responding to his pull. I tried to cry out. To tell him to stop. But nothing came out. Nothing but that pain.

The pain I'd taken. The pain I'd buried deep. The pain that had inadvertently become a plug to hold my dark down with it.

That heartache heard a familiar call. It was heading home to a heart full with new pain from a fresh disaster. And it was bringing another with it.

I must have cried, or managed some sound. Or maybe it was just the realization of a new pain hitting him for an unknown reason. Either way, Luke finally let go.

But the damage was done.

* * *

We stood there for a moment. Staring at each other without really seeing. Without wanting to see.

"Mara...I..." He took a step towards me and I took one back. Another forward, another back. "Mara-"

"Don't." My hand flew up and the urge to push, to toss him across the open space, was so strong he actually toddled a bit before we both got ourselves under control.

"We can fix this... We can..."

I shook my head. "Do you know how much..." I shook it again. _What was the use? It's done..._ A sigh. "You are not your father. You were never going to _be_ your father. Or Vader. You have no Sith lord twisting your world. No Jedi council puppeting you around. I just... I wish you could see that... Then no one could use it against you..."

I turned, then, and walked away. He called after me, but I didn't stop. There was nothing left to say. Not that I would hear, anyway.

I'd lied. In a sense. There was no Sith lord or Jedi pulling strings on our lives. But there was someone. That was clear now. Well, as clear as it could be to a mind that was even now wiping itself clean.

I'd lied to him. It was the one and only time. A sign of what was to come maybe.

I walked, unsure of where I was going. Unsure of anything really. Except...there was something... Something I was forgetting... Something important...

"Stop." The voice was metallic, spoken through a vocalizer. I looked up, as I unconsciously did as I was asked, to see I had been walking towards a tall figure. All in black, the only color was the glint of silver in his mask and the red of his tri-pointed saber.

I stood staring at the man as he stalked toward me. No..not a man. But...not a boy... That heady middle ground.

"You're coming with me," he ordered as he reached me. Standing over me and glaring down through that mask that, probably, hid another.

"Not likely." I plucked my saber off my belt, raising it off to the side without igniting it. I wasn't really in the mood for a fight.

But I wasn't really in control any more.

He struck first - wild and frantic, easily blocked. The whole fight went like that. We both seemed to be aiming to _not_ inflict permanent damage, most certainly for different reasons. I eventually lost, grabbing another saber from a fallen student for more killing power.

He had a good teacher, that was obvious. Something seemed familiar about the fighting style… But, he definitely needed more training. I had him down on his knees, blades crossed at his neck, before either of us realized it.

"Why are you here?" I asked through clenched teeth. My mind was revolting against the delay. The dark was striving for a kill…

"For Un- Luke Skywalker," came the static-filled reply. "And…for you."

"Why…?"

"My…my master wants to know more about you…"

I pondered that for a bit. "No. I don't think so. I have no master. Not any more. Never again." A pause. "I'm sorry."

"For…for what?" His youth revealed itself in his fear.

"You will have to go back, to your master, and tell him…you failed."

I dragged the blades across each other, inches from his masked face, before dropping both sabers in front of him. In the sparking flash of that, I disappeared from the young man's mind.

And as I walked away, the sky continued to weep.

* * *

 _I sit here now, in a place I once knew, trying to remember who I am._

 _This book says my name is Mara… But I'm not sure it is mine._

 _Beings have stopped to say hello… Long time no see… How've ya been… They seem to know me, but I don't know them._

 _I'm being buried… Slowly fading into myself. Everything is…dark._

 _I sit. Unsure of what to do. And yet, uncaring. The dark does not care. Why should it?_

 _There's a laugh in the back of my head. Echoing from a lost and forgotten corner. I fear it will haunt me…_

 _But there is something else… A bright speck… Something I've forgotten… A light…_

 _A light._

 _My light._

 _My little ray of light._

 _Now there is a choice. Do I cling to this thought? Hope it can grow and spread and fight back the dark? Bring back balance?_

 _Or do I let it go? Send it off to protect and care for the other…_

 _Seems it's not a choice after all._


	25. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Rey slowly looked up from the book to gaze at the woman suddenly sat across from her. Tired, worn, almost faded; but still so familiar.

"Mother…" She said it so quietly, it was more thought than speech.

The image/vision/illusion that was Mara gave her a small, sad smile as she lowered the pen she'd, seemingly, just written the words Rey had just read with, and closed the journal she'd just written them in.

They sat there, staring at each other for a moment. Lost in thought. In memory. And then Mara gave a small nod.

"Don't be too hard on him, my little light…"

"Rey." She jolted, turning to find Finn and Luke standing and sitting, respectively, next to the bar. Finn was all concern as he walked over with the drinks he'd gotten up to retrieve. "You okay…?"

She nodded as she watched him take the now vacant seat at the table. Her hand brushed the journal in front of her as she reached for the drink he offered. It was closed. But she had no recollection of having closed it…

"You didn't go after her." It was a statement. Calm. Not judging… Just stating. Fact. When Luke didn't respond, Rey turned to look at him. "You didn't go after her. You didn't go after Ben." A pause. "You didn't come for me."

 _That_ got a response. "I didn't know."

"Did I really have to be _your_ child for you to care?" That one had a bit of sting to it, but...it seemed appropriate. "Do you know who was there when I got back? Not Le'van. Not Syrna. They never had a chance. Never would have made it. Unkar Plutt was there when I got back to that walker. He'd come to shout for credits. Some new random excuse as to why we owed him. Mother never paid, though.

"Except, she wasn't there. So he took me. I was going to work for him, from then on. I stood and watched that shuttle take off, pleading for it to come back." She paused, reclaiming her composure. "I'd forgotten who was on it… Forgot most of the event itself. Just remembered that promise…"

Luke hesitated again, searching for words. Maz, who had been in and out during the whole literary journey thus far, was suddenly back and pulling on Finn's sleeve. Prodding the man to join her elsewhere. Rey watched as Finn reluctantly slid off the chair and the two of them made their way to the back, Finn giving her an encouraging smile. Only when they had slipped away did she turn back to Luke.

"What did you see?" she asked after a moment. He'd dropped his head to his hands, seemingly falling into himself since the chair prevented his physical form from falling any further. But at that, he sat up.

"It was a dream, right?" Rey calmly asked, suddenly aware of a role reversal of sorts between master and student. "A vision? What did you see?"

"Exactly what happened...," he said, ending with a small, mirthless laugh. "You know what they about visions sent by the Force..."

"That they're never what they seem. They don't always mean what you think. You should never go with your initial interpretation." She gave him a small smirk to ease the slight scolding of her tone, but it failed to make any change in his sad demeanor.

"I woke up that next morning – the morning after she left…the first time – with no idea anything was missing. I knew I was supposed to meet someone, but the urge to go...'home' took over. I left that day, once the storm had cleared enough. Started the praxeum within the month." He was staring down at his hands, clenching and unclenching, wringing them individually.

"The dreams started a few years later." A thought had him quickly pausing with another half-laugh. "A few years... I'm sure she'd be disappointed..." A shake of his head. "It wasn't anything really...distinguishable. Thoughts, memories – half-realized, barely remembered. That particular vision crept in every once and a while, but there wasn't any feeling to it. No emotion. Like an incomplete report. The information is there, but you still feel like something integral is missing.

"And then there was that name... 'The Child of Palpatine'. It started all over. The search for this possible threat. But…it was a sort of...compulsion. I felt like I _had_ to find…'it', even though some part of me was sure I already had…"

"Snoke…"

Luke nodded, accepting the one-word suggestion. "I often wonder… If I had stayed. Taken Ben on earlier, even when I was still unsure of how to teach someone to be a Jedi. If I had been there for Leia to confide in. To tell me what she was sensing…"

" _ **No use wishing for moondew on a meteorite…**_ " They exchanged small smiles and then lapsed into their own individual thoughts.

After a time… "I didn't ask her to come… In any…way," Luke hesitantly offered.

"I know," Rey replied with a sure nod. "She wanted to help." She paused, wavering, before continuing, "And we need to help her, now."

"Rey…"

"I know where she is." She was suddenly jubilant, most definitely determined; bounding out of her chair.

Luke did the same, but was the essence of restraint. "Rey, you don't understand…"

"You said you could help her," she insisted as she started her way to the door.

"I was wrong." That stopped her. "Rey…the others, in the program… They…"

"They didn't survive…"

"They were consumed. By the dark that was put in them. Some went mad. Others just…quiet. But, in the end…" He faltered, unsure how to phrase it, or even if he should.

But he didn't need to. "She's different."

He could tell she was fixed on this path. But he couldn't help feeling like he needed to convince her otherwise. "Even if she is still alive… There's no telling what we will find…"

The young woman just shook her head. "She's different," she repeated. She couldn't expand on it. She was just…sure.

Sure she was right.

Sure everything would work out.

"Finn!" she called. He immediately popped his head out from behind the curtain he'd obviously been listening at. "We're leaving." She had yet to take her gaze from Luke.

"Where are we going…?" Finn asked, cautiously joining the two.

At this, Rey did finally look away to give her friend a sly grin.

"Jakku."

* * *

" _ **No use wishing for moondew on a meteorite…**_ " - This is from the original novelization of "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope" by George Lucas and is used here with the utmost respect and gratitude for all things moondewy. :)


	26. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The trip to that unusually popular desert planet was quiet. Well…it hadn't started quiet. But once Chewie stepped into the one-sided argument between Luke (the one side) and Rey, quiet quickly became the mainstay.

Luke sat, resolutely sending mental red flags to Rey.

Rey sat, steadfastly sure as to her path.

Finn sat, blissfully content in just being there.

Chewbacca sat, curious as to what an old smuggler would have to say about the current predicament.

Artoo…was Artoo.

* * *

Tuanul seemed the appropriate place to start. If Mara (or Kira, for that matter) had shown up anywhere near Niima Outpost, Rey certainly would have heard. Of course, if she'd shown up in or around Tuanul, word would have certainly gotten it's way across as well… But, maybe not.

The small settlement was still trying to rebuild and restore what they'd lost in that long ago raid.

"Are you sure we're going to be able to find any help…here…?" Finn asked as he, Rey, and Luke approached the edge of buildings. "I mean…" He hesitated and Rey couldn't help feeling a bit sorry for him. Even after all this time, he still struggled with that…guilt over his desertion. His becoming a "traitor". It had started here, of course, with the sacking of Tuanul.

"Even if no one knows her specifically, they may still know something that could point us in the right direction. It may take awhile, but-"

"Miss Rey?" All three turned to see an older gentleman making his way slowly towards them. His clothes were no different than most you'd see on Jakku, with the exception of one sleeve. Or, rather, the missing of one. It was cut short, the ends roughly pieced together, accentuating the missing limb. "It is! Miss Rey! I knew I recognized those buns!"

"Le'van!" Rey exclaimed, only slightly questioning that her recollection may be incorrect. But the responding smile she got proved her right. "What happened?" She motioned to the knot of sleeve.

"Oh, this?" He waved his remaining hand with a visual pashaw to match his spoken one. "A scratch. Those dratted First Order troopers, couldn't hit the broad side of a Hutt!" He gave an infectious laugh and Rey and Finn joined him. Finn maybe a bit too much, judging by the look Le'van gave him. "Weird seeing you…," he continued on his previous thought. "Was just thinking about your mother the other day. About the day she left. With that… Well, I'll be – Master Lars!"

Luke had slowly drifted his way up to join the little group, now reaching out to shake the other man's hand. "Le'van. Good to see you."

"And you, sir. And you. Did you find who you were looking for then?"

"I did, yes. Thank you."

"And Mistress Kira helped," the man added with a smile. It was like the event was just the other day to him, rather than nearly a decade-plus ago.

Luke gave only a short, sad smile in return. "She did…" He glanced at Rey as he gave a small squeeze to her shoulder.

She nodded before turning back to Le'van. "Have you seen my mother lately, Le'van?"

"Mistress Kira? Oh…no. No. I haven't seen her since… Well, since that day she left. With you, Master Lars." He watched as the three faces in front of him fell. "I'm sorry…"

"It's alright Le'van," Luke offered. "It was worth asking." He paused, a thought coming to him. "What made you think of Kira?" At the questioning look, he added, "You said you'd been thinking about her the other day…"

"Oh! Right… Well, I'd just been thinking about folks coming and going. Been happening a lot lately – mostly going." He laughed. "Folks come looking for the church. Or…for Master San Tekka…" It was Le'van's turn for the frown. After a moment, Luke assured him the former explorer was one with the Force now and he smiled appreciatively. "Indeed… Anyway… Yeah. Just was thinking about how things change. Folks coming and going… Less and less folks staying put. Galaxy is moving. Always thought your mother was a stayer. She seemed…content here. That's what made me think of her…" He drifted off in thought.

"Anyone…especially unusual?" Luke asked pointedly. Rey gave him a look, but he just waved a hand for patience. "Anyone out of place, even for here?"

Le'van laughted. "Aside from those First Order goons! No, no. Nothing terribly special." He paused. "Well…except the dark one."

"The dark one?" Finn repeated uncomfortably. Rey and Luke shared a look.

"Not recent, really," Le'van continued, seemingly ignoring Finn's shaky question-behind-a-question. "Showed up…oh…a few months after your visit, Master Lars. Don't really know too much about him. Haven't really seen him…fully ya know."

"Him?" Rey asked, trying not to let disappointment creep into her voice. As much as she didn't want Luke to be right… _Any_ sign was a sign at this point.

"Oh…I say 'him'. Like I said – no one's really seen…well…him…her… Wears a big ole cloak around 'em, with the hood pulled real low. Only comes here every once and awhile. To trade for food and such. Just in last week, actually…"

He drifted off, the look on his face making it appear as if he were piecing together thoughts he wasn't really convinced actually went together.

And that was enough for Rey. "Where does…this 'dark one' live?"

"Out by the wet sands…" Le'van replied distractedly, but then realized the new vein of the conversation. "Oh, but you don't want to go out there. I make light of it, but… Even Master San Tekka was telling folks to leave it well enough alone."

"It's alright Le'van," she reassured him, "we'll be careful. Thank you."

With a nod from her and a flat smile from the two other men, they turned and headed back away from the village. They hadn't made it far, though, before Le'van called after them.

"Miss Rey!" She stopped to turn back to him, as Luke and Finn stood a few steps away to wait. "I… I just wanted to say… I'm sorry…"

"For what Le'van?"

"For…for not being there that day. For not getting to you before…before… Syrna feels the same. She cried all night when she came back, after finding out that…sleemo had taken you. Someone should have been there. If only I hadn't waited. If I'd gone straight there when your ma told me-"

"Don't," Rey cut him off, putting a hand on either of his shoulders. "What's done is done. The past can't be undone. But it shouldn't define us either." She caught Luke's gaze out the corner of her eye and gave him a knowing nod. It was a lesson they could all take to heart.

She kissed her old friend's head, gave him one last smile, and turned to continue towards whatever the next steps brought.


	27. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The first bolt flew past him so fast, Luke wasn't sure that's what he'd actually seen. But when he heard the second, and Finn's shout to Rey to look out, he was sure he wasn't imagining it.

And yet…

Shots kept coming. Luke ignited his lightsaber as Finn dropped own to the sand – the only options given the open expanse they were walking through.

Rey, on the other hand, just stared at them. "Watch out for what? What are you doing…?"

"Watch out for blaster bolts!" Finn exclaimed, looking as if he were digging himself further into the ground. "Somebody has a sniper blaster and obviously knows how to use it!"

"Sniper blaster? What bolts?"

Luke paused in his deflecting of shots to return her quizzical look. "You…you don't see any shots?" She shook her head. "Damn it." He switched off the blade, thwacking the hilt against his side. "It's her. She's making us see them. They're not real." And just like that, they stopped. For Luke anyway.

"Are you serious?!" Finn was back up on his feet, still ducking and dodging as he tried to pat what must have been a burn on his sleeve.

"Finn, they're not real," Luke said as he walked over to the man, putting a bit of emphasis into his words. He took the arm with the imagined wound, holding it still and encouraging the young man to see it for what it was – a perfectly fine, unsinged arm. "Look. Look at it." Finn calmed and all semblance of enemy fire ceased.

"Well…that's no fun." All three spun around to find a cloaked figure suddenly standing before them. Nothing distinguishable could be seen, with the hood pulled low and shadowing face, and the rest of the cloak hanging long to hide limbs.

Rey stepped forward, but Luke stopped her with a hand on her arm and a cautioning glance.

"We're…looking for someone," Luke volunteered.

The hooded head tilted a modicum to the side. "You'd be better off looking elsewhere." The voice was gravely, like it was being dragged through shards of rock. "While the blaster may not have been real, you're more than welcome to determine the veracity of these…" The figure waved a hand as it turned its back on them, and two sentry probes rose up from the sand to pinpoint the trio with laser sights.

"Wait." Luke marched toward the figure, the probes following his every move. "Just prove you're not who we're looking for and we'll move on. Show us your face." He paused. He knew it was her. Could feel it. But…it was all wrong. Twisted and distorted. He needed to know how far it went. "Let me look into your eyes," he added quietly. "Let me see you."

The figure stopped, hood turned so unseen eyes could peer at him over its shoulder. "You want to look into my eyes, Je'daii…"

And then, suddenly, she was there in front of him. Face to face. The hood was down, the cloak gone. He tried to take in everything, but all he saw were those two black pits. Gazing at him. Dragging him in.

"Go ahead… Look. Look deep… Fall into the black oblivion that lies within… Lose yourself in the dark…"

Luke did look. And what he saw wedged that old crack in his heart a little bigger.

"Luke," Finn called, grabbing the older man and pulling him away from the perceived threat.

Mara laughed as Luke assured Finn he was okay. It was part sweet and innocent, part evil and malice. "Find what you were looking for?" she shrewdly asked.

The Jedi didn't respond. He, instead, turned to find Rey standing a few short steps away, staring intently at the figure that had, at one time, been her mother. The pain she felt was evident. It was that that convinced Luke he needed to take another look. So he turned again…

A beautiful disaster. That's what he found standing before him, in the guise of the woman he loved. In a sleeveless tunic, cropped pants, and boots – all varying shades of grey and grey-brown – she looked just the same as she did that last day he saw her. Truly saw her, here on Jakku.

But, at the same time, oh-so different.

Her red-gold curls ran wild around her head. But there was a patch of them, along the right side, that seemed to have had all the color bled from them. All but a silvery blue-green. Pale. It was a color that appeared to be creeping in all along that side of her. Black veins delicately tracing patterns under her skin across arms, face, any visible skin was tinted to that teal-silver glow on the right. Sith symbol tattoos etched in black on her upper arms, tattoos even he rarely saw even during intimate moments, were glaring bright. But the ones on the right had a different glow to them. Like they were being burned away, by that other light, from the inside.

It hit him then and he whirled back to Rey, trying to rally courage to do what he needed to do, before the guilt and despair of that same act could stall him.

"I'm sorry… I…I forgot. I didn't think…"

She looked at him, confusion and pain mixing. "What?"

"The crystal. The kyber crystal. It's fighting against the dark in her. It's…dying." A pause. "And it's taking her with it."

"No." Rey wanted nothing more than to refute what her master was saying. But the truth was standing in front of her.

It was like any field a battle was fought on. No matter the players. No matter who wins or who loses. The field is usually the greatest loss.

"There's noth-," Luke started, but cut himself off with a sigh. "I made a promise. No matter what. This is what she refused to be." Pause. Sigh. "There's only one thing to be done. We end it. And set her free."

"You mean kill her!" Rey exclaimed accusingly.

The dark figure being discussed had been observing this whole exchange with mild amusement, but at this she barked a laugh. "I'd like to see you try…"

"Look at her, Rey," Luke insisted, ignoring the sneer from behind him. "That's not your mother. Mara is gone."

Rey shook her head. "No. No. She's still there. I know it." She went to move away from him, towards Mara, but Luke grabbed her arms and held her fast.

"Rey…" He didn't know how to say it. How to explain that he knew what to look for. How to tell the amount of damage. He'd done it before – his father, himself. But this…this was different. There had been hope before. Now…

"I'm sorry" was all he managed. "Finn…" He nodded to the younger man, who had already worked his way silently up behind them. The two men exchanged grips on Rey's arms – Luke releasing as Finn took hold and pulled her into his own arms.

Luke caught a glimpse of her struggle and fight. Saw the sadness on her friend's face as he worked to keep her safe, even while wanting to let her go, to help her be happy.

He wondered for a moment, as he turned to Mara, whether he should let Rey fight her mother. It could be her trial, just as it had been for him. But…no. He caused this. He should be the one to finish it.

It would be trial enough to watch.

As he walked towards that dark figure, mentally refusing to give her the privilege of the name "Mara" any longer, he watched as she flicked a hand at the sentry probes, sending them tumbling away back under the sand. As he reached to pull his saber from his belt, she reached around her back to pull two of her own.

With a flick of each wrist, they ignited. The blades were flat, slightly wider than that of a lightsaber, ending in shorn points. And they were black – the darkest black. Like individual slivers of a black hole. Sucking all the light around them, leaving nothing but the faintest glow around their edges.

"Do you know what these are?" she asked coyly. Without waiting for an answer, she continued, "The Emperor had one. Once. The original, so they say. I made these, but based off that one. _That_ one belonged, supposedly, to a Mandalorian knight. Forged and used during the time of the Old Republic. And do you know what he used it for?"

This time she did wait. Luke just shrugged. "What?"

A twisted smirk. "Killing Jedi. I haven't had a chance to really test them out yet. But…this seems like an appropriate opportunity, don't you think?" The smirk grew, driving home the idea – the snide remark was a play on an old forgotten memory, the lost thoughts of a first kiss…

That hit as hard as any first blow, so Luke replied in kind. His saber flashed to life even as he raised it to strike.


	28. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Rey watched franticly as the two figures – her parents! – fought their deadly ballet. She struggled to get free of Finn's hold, but wasn't sure what she would do when she got there.

It didn't make sense. She could understand why Luke would think it was no use. She could feel it just as much as he could – that dark that was wrapped as tightly around Mara as the cloak she'd worn had been. But there was something else…

Something was missing…

"Rey…please…"

She could hear her friend's pain and stopped fighting him. It wasn't Finn's fault, of course not. He was just trying to help… Just didn't know how…

Something…was missing…

She stood there, grateful for the comfort of her friend's embrace, watching. Green against black slashing and swirling. It seemed like it would never end. They were so evenly matched in skill. And they knew each other so well, even if they refused to acknowledge it.

Green. Black. Green. Black. But then…

Rey stood up straighter, just slightly leaning away from Finn's slowly relaxing grip. She thought she'd seen…

There! Just a moment. Just a glint. What was it? Blue…or green… Pale… Silver…

 _The crystal. The kyber crystal. It's fighting against the dark…_

Her hand drifted to her pocket, coming out with a worn, smooth jewel. She had't remembered taking it from the box. Or even putting it in her pocket. But looking at it now…

Her mother would let her hold it, when she was little. She would raise it up and watch the light glow through it. Sometimes she would sneak it from where it sat next to her sleeping mother. When she couldn't sleep because of a bad dream, but didn't want to wake Mama. She would curl up with it and it would warm her like one of Mama's hugs…

Something was missing.

She was out of Finn's arms and charging towards the fight before he realized what was happening.

"Rey!" he called after her, but she didn't stop. She thought one of the two in front of her would stop at the shout, but they were so engrossed in each other they didn't even notice _her_ coming towards them.

She reached them just as they pushed away from each other with a large wave of blades. Mara rocked backwards towards where Rey was coming from. She steadied herself and prepared to jump back towards Luke when Rey met up with her, grabbing her arm to stop her.

A surge of…something sparked under Rey's touch and the saber in Mara's right hand switched off and dropped to the sand.

"Let go," Mara snapped, trying to wrench her arm out of the younger woman's surprisingly strong grip.

"It's okay… You were trying to do like you promised. I know that. You were trying to get back…"

"Rey…" Luke cautioned, slowly inching towards them.

"You were trying," she repeated, ignoring her master's warning. Ignoring the tingling under her hand. "You just got a little lost."

"Let. Go." Mara struggled harder, her voice sounding pained, her brow wrinkling in confusion and fright.

"But it's alright. I found you. Everything will be alright."

"Rey…" Luke was just a few steps away, looking worriedly at the still-lit blade in Mara's other hand. He reached for it as he hurried to met the two women.

"Please…" It was quiet. All gruff and fierceness gone. Nothing but desperation. "Let go…"

Rey looked into those fathomless eyes. Saw all the pain that was there. All the anger. All the dark. And as she reached her other hand, firmly holding that shard of crystal, toward her mother's still-armed hand, she offered that dark nothing but a joyful, loving smile.

As two hands reached one, there was a flash of bright, intense light. All four people standing there were rocked back, all but one falling to the ground. Mara remained standing, staring out at nothing, left hand clenched tight. She turned away from the other three, staggering.

Luke and Finn both stood and rushed to Rey's side, even as she was standing.

"Are you alright? Rey?" Luke brought a hand up to turn her head to face him. "Are you alright?"

She nodded, turning back to find Mara had stopped. The woman was looking down at her now open hand. The sun glinted off something glowing in the palm of it. And then she dropped to her knees and collapsed.

"No!" Rey screamed as both men held her back. She turned into Finn's arms, nearly collapsing herself. She felt Luke's hand leave her back and she looked back to see him approaching Mara's fallen body.

He walked slowly, conflict reigning supreme in mind and heart. He had believed, wholly what he'd told Rey – this was the only way.

But that didn't mean he wanted it.

It didn't seem fair. All they'd been through. All they'd done. All the time the two of them had lost… The three of them! He'd reached the point of feeling like he'd given the galaxy enough.

It seemed to want more.

He could hear Rey softly crying behind him. Softly pleading. _No… Come back… Come back…_

He knelt down beside the quiet form. So still. He couldn't feel her. That bright spot in his mind, that he'd forgotten for so long was hers, suddenly felt so very empty.

He gently pulled her onto his lap, stroking back a curl from across her face. "You made me forget. And when I remembered that…I was so angry with you. And I never got the chance to yell at you." He paused, looking down at her. He imagined that black lace fading from her skin.

Or…was he imagining it…?

"All I want now is for you to wake up and do it again… And I promise – I won't be angry this time…"

He smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. And then he sat there. Listening to the wind blow. The sand move across the plain. Rey still quietly asking… _Come back…_

And then…

"I don't think so…" It was soft. So quiet, the wind very nearly whisked it away. But…he heard it.

He looked down to see bright green gazing up at him.

"It didn't work out so great…the last time…" And then she smiled.

He didn't know whether to weep or laugh hysterically and ended up doing both, slowly diverting to the latter.

"Is he…laughing?" Finn asked as Rey whipped around. The two exchanged incredulous looks before rushing over to where Luke sat.

Mara sat up as Rey dropped to her knees beside her. "Rey! Oh, my little ray of light! Still the brightest thing in the galaxy." She pulled the younger woman to her, and Rey responded by cuddling up to her like she was a little kid again. "Thank you," she whispered.

Rey looked up. "For what?"

"For being you. Only and always just you." She gave her a squeeze and they both laughed.

Luke breathed a laugh and Mara turned to find that old familiar look on his face. "What?" she asked, only slightly exasperated.

"I'm an idiot."

"Ha! Oh wow…this is historic. A Jedi admitting ignorance. Does anyone have a recorder? Can you repeat that?"

"You were with her…," he continued, ignoring the remark. He'd missed it. Again. "The whol-. You were with her the _whole_ time…" He had looked into her eyes, into her very being, desperately searching for just a spark of light. And it had been with Rey – their child – all along. Her _literal_ ray of light.

"Well yeah…" She gave him a coy smile as he turned his stunned gaze to her. "Where else would I have been?" She patted his knee, giving him a bigger smile.

Finn, having been watching the whole joyful event form his pacing point just outside the happy circle finally reached his bursting point.

"WOOHOO!" he shouted with a little jump for emphasis. And they all collapsed in laughter.


	29. Post-Script

Post-Script

Chewie, Luke, and Mara sat in the cockpit, finishing up pre-flight checklists, as Rey and Finn came in to join them.

"I was thinking…" Rey started hesitantly. "We should stop by Niima Outpost…"

"To what?" Finn countered. "Relive the good ole days?" He nudged her with his elbow and she pushed back with a laugh.

"Noo… Just…ya know…"

"Closure." Luke turned in the pilot's seat to give her a nod. Chewie growled his agreement. "Not a bad idea."

"I'd like to too," Mara added.

"Really?" Rey gave her mother a confused look.

"Sure…" She shrugged, staring out the viewport. "I have a debt to pay…"

* * *

Chewbacca insisted on going along on this little jaunt. As he landed the Falcon, ironically in the same spot Rey and Finn had taken it from that fateful day years ago, he again grumbled his displeasure of their new addition.

Luke, not completely fluent much less tourist-level in Wookiee-speak, still had a vague idea what the grumble was about. "Chewie… She's Rey's _mother_. That has to be worth something!"

The Wookiee just grumbled quieter. Luke tossed up his hands in surrender.

"It's okay, Chewbacca," came Mara's voice from just outside the cockpit. She stood in the small connector joint, leaning against one of the walls. "I'll convince you one way or another."

Chewie stood and walked out, glaring silently at her even as his…stature had her scurrying out the way.

"He really doesn't like me," she said, staring after him.

"Since when do you speak Wookiee?" Luke asked, joining her.

"Shyriiwook."

"Huh?"

"Shyriiwook," she repeated with a grin. "Who do you think taught Rey?"

They made their way to the back of the ship. "So what doesn't he like? Specifically?"

"Well, I'm a bit out of practice, but…the general complaint is my abandoning my child. Even if it was for the sake of my…life partner." She gave him a smirk. "And even _if_ that partner is Luke Skywalker."

"Hey. He still likes me. Don't go dragging me into this."

"Ha! Nice…"

They met up with the group, Artoo tweeting his farewell from the top of the ramp. (He was…over sandy planets.)

"So…" Rey sidled up next to her mother. "What did you want to do?"

"I told you," Mara replied with a bop on Rey's nose, "I have a debt to pay."

She picked up her pace, heading straight for…

Rey stopped as she saw where her mother was headed. "Uh oh…"

"What?" Finn asked. Rey didn't answer. Just ran after Mara. Finn, Luke, and Chewie followed.

Mara wrapped her knuckles against the half-open window before yanking it the rest of the way and peering inside. Not finding what she was looking for, she stepped back out to the center of the area.

"UNKAR PLUTT!" she bellowed. "Get out here!"

The few folks that were lingering in the area, that wasn't part of the group, vanished quickly. Rey was standing just a few steps behind Mara as the boys caught up to them.

Finn paused, looking around. "Wow. How can a place look so different, yet so familiar at the same time?"

"They did a fair job cleaning up from the First Order's mess, that's for sure," Rey said flatly.

"Uh…Rey…" Luke began as he came up beside her.

"Sabers are on the ship." She turned to him. "Unless she grabbed them…"

"She didn't." He paused and thought. "At least… I didn't _see_ her…"

They shared a look then turned back to Mara as Unkar cam shuffling out.

"Unkar!" Mara greeted, with obviously false cheer. "Long time no see."

"Rey?" he grumbled, looking past Mara. "What do you-" He caught sight of Chewbacca and stood a bit taller. "Keep that Wookiee away from me!"

Everyone turned to Chewie and he just gave a quiet laugh.

"Oh Unkar…" Mara soothed, turning back to the slumlord. "That's not who you need to be worried about."

Unkar turned to her. "Who are you?"

"Oh. I'm hurt. Really." She mimed a shot to the chest before turning serious. "Let me remind you. I had to leave. Leave my little girl for…just a little bit." She stalked towards him as she talked. "I left her to the care of friends. But… _you_ decided to take her instead. To kidnap her from her home and press her into service. Under you. No more than a slave."

At this last bit, she'd reached him and wrenched off the prosthetic arm he had hanging loosely at his side. She shifted her grip on it as she continued. "You pay her nothing." _SWACK!_ with the arm. "Trade no where near galactic standards." _WHAM!_ "Not to mention nearly starving her!" _WHACK!_ "A child!" _THUMP!_

"We should stop this," Luke said, stepping forward. A strong, hairy hand held him back. He looked up to find Chewie standing behind him, a hand on Rey's shoulder as well, staring straight ahead.

The caution wasn't necessary. Mara felt she'd gotten her point across.

She leaned over the whimpering bulk that was Unkar Plutt. "You even _think_ about doing that to another being again, you'll need to replace more than a limb." She dropped the arm. "Bye!"

And with that, she turned and walked back to the group. Seeing all the looks that were looking at her, she shrugged. "What?"

Chewie grumbled and both Mara and Rey busted out laughing.

"Well, you did give me an arm up…" Mara laughed and that made Chewie add his own laugh.

The Wookiee turned, walking back out from the outpost, still chuckling. Rey and Finn followed him.

Luke turned to Mara with a slight scowl on his face. "Guess Chewie likes you now?"

She laughed again as the two of them followed after the others. "It's a start, anyway…" At his silence, she snatched a glance of him out the corner of her eye. "Oh, silly Jedi. That wasn't 'dark'. _That_ was being a parent."

He stopped, pulling her to a stop at the same time, and took a good look at her. That patch of hair on her right, now buried under curls, was still all-but white, with just a glint of that crystal shade to it. The etched tattoos on her right arm, glimpsed just for a moment as she pulled up the sleeve of her sweater, still looking like they were burned from the inside-out. Those were the only signs of the battle that took place within her all these years. She stood there – the literal image of balance. Light and dark happily existing side-by-side in one entity.

She gave him a knowing smile, acknowledging the appraisal but ignoring it at the same time. "I'm sure you've had a moment or two similar…"

"Well," he continued as if nothing had stopped the conversation, "until recently, I was just master to apprentice, so…"

"Jedi master. Parent." She mimed a scale. "About the same thing." She gave him another smile. "Don't worry. There's plenty of time for you to get lots of parenting experiences."

At his dazed, shocked look, she laughed again. Then reached up to give him a gentle kiss. That took the shock away.

And, hand in hand, they turned and walked off into the desert.


	30. Alternate Ending

Alternate/Additional Ending

(cause I'm a crazy person…)

Mara stood, watching the small group standing and chatting next to the ship. Quiet. Peaceful. Content.

"Are you going to tell him?" The calm breeze coalesced beside her into the shape of a familiar Togruta female. This Ahsoka differed from the one Mara formerly knew, however. She was more…faded. Slightly insubstantial. Mara could see her clearly, but no  
one else would. This, of course, was now the woman's true form. Whatever form she had when Mara (and Luke for that matter) had met her had only been temporary.

"Not sure… Maybe later. Now doesn't seem the right time." Mara laughed to herself. "Besides, I have yet to come up with a good comeback to his inevitable argument. 'It was my father's destiny. It's my responsibility!' Something along those lines…"

Ahsoka offered her own giggle. "That is true. Those pesky, noble Skywalkers…"

"Skywalker…" came the grumble from Mara's other side. This breeze had a bit of a chill to it. The figure it converged to was easily the opposite of the first, but still just as invisible to anyone other than Mara.

"Don't pout Maul. It doesn't become you." She took in the horns and tattooed face with a smile.

The Zabrak didn't acknowledge the look directly. But there was a playful crook to his sneer. "Can't help it. Good for nothing Jedi just…brings it out of me…"

"Watch it…Sith scum…" The frown on Ahsoka's face was equally partially-playful, but the simmering ire underneath both was obvious.

"Stop." The solitary word was quiet, barely more than a whisper. But the vibrato…the power behind it was enough to quiet both instantly. Mara gave them each a glare out the corner of her eye. "There are no more Jedi. No more Sith. Just the Force."

"And us," Ahsoka added.

"And us," Mara agreed with a nod. "You're not enemies anymore. You're brother and sister now. Act like it." She gave them each a fuller glance and groaned at the lack of response. "At least pretend you like each other!"

"It will just take…a bit of getting used to…," Maul offered. "It's…difficult… My lovely sister in…that…"

"Ha! Speak for yourself, brother dear…"

Mara just rolled her eyes and grinned. "You both made your choices. Now you get to deal with the results. No one to blame but yourselves..."

"And you…?" one asked.

"Who do you get to blame?" followed the other.

Mara again focused on the small group. Her lover. Her daughter. Luke glanced over to her, sensing the gaze, and she gave him a small smile. "This one was chosen because of the choices of others. Without them realizing." A pause. "The Chosen One made his  
choice… His son made his… Choices define our world. We know that better than most…"

She shook her head as if to dispel the errant thoughts. "You'll still get to have fun," she started anew, with a playful nudge to either side. "Just…let's not go crazy, huh? Think moderation. I'd hate to have to go back to that…other place…"

"I don't know… I quite liked it…"

Both women looked at the tall man incredulously. He ignored them. Then they all laughed.

"What's so funny?" Luke asked as he came up in front of Mara.

"Huh? Oh," she replied, with a start, "just…nothing… Just a random thought." She gave him a grin and took his offered hand.

They began to walk towards the ship, but Luke stopped and turned back to where the two of them were just standing. As he turned, two birds took off, with a sudden whoosh, towards the setting sun. The longer he looked, the more they seemed to disappear...  
Until he couldn't remember if he'd actually seen them or not…

"What is it?" Mara asked; looking not in the direction of his stare, but in his eyes.

"Nothing… Nothing…" He turned back to her and smiled. "Thought I saw something, that's all. But…guess not."

She returned his smile, hugging herself to his arm, and they continued to the ship.

Once settled in the cockpit, tucked into the chair behind Rey and beside Luke, Mara took another glance out at that sunset. And she smiled again as she watched the two birds flying in the amber light. One white, with highlights of gold and green  
and, now, blue. The other black, with smatterings of red.

As the freighter took off and aimed for the stars, the two dove in and around each other and the ship in graceful play, until they eventually did finally fade into the sunset.

And as the stars stretched out into lines around the cockpit viewport, the Force was at peace. Content. In balance.


End file.
